|Monster Parts||head, wing, torso|
Once upon a time, an adventurer was attacked by a vampire bird.
He was sucked to death.
The vampire bird killed him at last.
The vampire bat says, "Say 'Rock!'," then headbutts you! Ow! Ooh!
It takes you on a war hell ride. The seats are uncomfortable and the guy next to you smells funny. Argh! Ugh! (stench damage)
After it sucks blood out of you, it starts stabbing you in your ass. Ouch! Ouch!
It drops you into a lake of fire. It burns you to the crisp. Ow! Ouch! (hot damage)
After the vampire bat sucks blood out of you, it starts stabbing you in your ass. Then three more vampire bats start stabbing you in your ass, too. They suck the blood out of you, nearly killing you. Ooh! Ugh!
The vampire bat tries to headbutt you, but you tap the bruise on its forehead with a rock and it skitters to the ground.
It tries to take you on a war hell ride, but it turns into a harmony joy ride after some split-second keyboarding.
It tries to suck blood out of you, but you remind it that it's not a vampire bird.
It tries to cast you to the lake of burning flame, but your asbestos undies keep you cool. *cough*
The vampire bat tries to hit you with a can of Folgers, but you point out that it's good to the last drop, and it drops the can. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 32-48 Meat (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*|
|You acquire an item: batgut (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: bat wing (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: sonar-in-a-biscuit (10% chance)*|
- If wooden stakes are equipped:
|You acquire an item: vampire heart (100% chance)*|
|You gain 4.25 <substat>.|
Occurs at Guano Junction.
- This enemy is an homage to the Wesley Willis song Vampire Bat. The description text and many of the combat messages are quotes from that song, including the Folgers slogan quoted at the end of the song.
- "Harmony joy ride" was how Willis referred to his music-making in general; "war hell ride" was his name for psychotic episodes he suffered due to his schizophrenia, mainly on the CTA bus lines in Chicago.
- "...you tap the bruise on its forehead with a rock..." refers to the bruise Willis developed on his forehead from a habit of headbutting with his fans. (When approached by a fan, Willis would grab his head and tell him to "Say 'rock'!" When the fan said "rock", Willis would then headbutt him. Then, "Say 'roll'!", another headbutt. Repeat until the fan stops saying "rock" and "roll" when prompted.)
- The cough at the end of one of the miss messages is a reference to the lung disease mesothelioma, which is contracted through exposure to asbestos.