User:KennyMan666/Hardcore IotM Analysis

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Should you have stumbled onto this page, it's a work in progress you shouldn't rely much on right now. It does effectively not take Standard into account at all, and Standard changed the IotM design paradigm so much that this page barely makes sense anymore. While it doesn't try sorting them, AstronautGuy's Mr. Store Analysis page is a better place to look for your IotM advice at the moment.

This guide is intended to serve as a checklist of past Items of the Month useful in Hardcore presented roughly in order of usefulness for unrestricted no-path Hardcore ascension. For certain challenge paths, some items move up a tier or two. Under Standard restrictions, certain IotMs may be one tier higher if that tier has many expired items (a Hardcore Standard IotM Analysis page is a project for the future). For the time being, items (at least below Tier I) are not sorted within their tiers, but instead listed by release date. Also doesn't actually include charters yet. For specific challenge paths, it is probably better to consult the specific path strategy pages. The name of this page is increasingly erroneous as it also includes Mr. Store items that aren't IotMs and KoL Con items that are neither, so we might have to think of a different name.

The page is primarily intended as useful for a person who has few or none IotMs already, so keep that in mind when discussing tiers. If you're an old player with several IotMs already, some higher tier items may not provide much additional functionality from what you already have. Should you be in this category, then first figure out what it is you need your next IotM to do before consulting the list to decide on your purchase. Tiers more or less assume that you have the stuff in the tiers above it when you start consulting the next tier.

Many Hardcore-usable IotMs (prior to 2014, at any rate) fulfil the same purpose as, or are mutually exclusive with, other items of the same "slot". It's generally a good idea to have Mr. Store items that cover each of these functions:

  • Tomes: Three summons per day across all tomes. Makes for diminishing returns on additional tomes.
  • Librams: Summons share an ever-increasing MP cost, and some libram summons synergize with summons from the same libram. See libram-specific notes.
  • Garden: Only one seed can be planted at a time, and cannot be changed during a Hardcore run. Unless changing this across paths, you only need one.
  • "Yellow rays": Also known as "disintegration", all sources of this bonus give you the "Everything Looks Yellow" effect, and thus do not stack.
  • Spleen familiars: Familiars that drop turn-generating spleen items. Each has its own daily drop timer, so additional familiars make filling spleen easier, but you only need so many spleen items per day. Greatly diminished returns if you already have several spleen familiars.
  • Runaway familiars: Familiars that let you flee combat without consuming a turn, which is used to advance many in-game counters. These familiars share the same counter (how much abuse your butt can take), and thus do not stack.
  • Free combat familiars: Familiars that let you fight special monsters without consuming a turn, which grants lots of free stats, and also advances certain in-game counters. These familiars share the same fight counter, and thus do not stack.
  • Monster-copying familiars: Familiars that let you target a monster while fighting it; the targeted monster will appear as a wandering monster 2-3 times following that encounter, letting you fight multiple copies of it.

Tier lists

These tier lists provide an overview of the relative usefulness of each item. Items within the same tier are not necessarily listed in any comparative order. If you're using these tiers to help you decide what order to acquire these items in, do note that if the mall cost of a higher-tier item is very high, it might be more useful in the long run to pick up some different lower-tier items at lower cost instead.

Class15.gif Extremely badass items that you shouldn't live without Class15.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
Source terminal
June 2016 2019 None The first item in a long, long time that can compare to The Smith's Tome when it comes to power, the Source Terminal is an extremely versatile and powerful IotM that covers a lot of bases. Even without any upgrades, it easily provides you with three size 4 EPIC consumables every day (either food or booze); a monster copying skill that gives you infinite copies as long as you have the adventures for it and doesn't share a counter with any other copiers; and strong buffs both on demand and automatically provided to you at rollover, with some of the more notable being +30% item drops, +5 familiar weight and +25 monster level. By using the Extract skill (or visiting the mall) that you learn from the terminal, you can also (somewhat rarely, however) find files and chips that allow you to permanently upgrade your terminal, allowing you to use the skills and buffs more often and for cheaper and with longer durations. Some upgrades also give you access to additional skills such as the useful Duplicate that allows you to double a monster and get double rolls on its drop table, which has some especially useful targets like the gaudy pirate.

Few IotMs provide anywhere near the range of utility that a Terminal will give you, and is likely the single best IotM there currently is to have inside a Hardcore run.

The Smith's Tome
December 2013 Expired Tome While no longer on a tier by itself, very expensive in the mall and gone from Standard, in unrestricted runs this tome is still a great IotM providing fantastic utility. Each summon will grant you a flask, coal, and smithereens. The coal can be used to make very powerful equipment, many of which are best-in-slot, not just in Hardcore but in the entire game! The smithereens can be used for food or booze that either grant effects that make the equipment even better, or EPIC quality turngen; or a source of Yellow Ray, banishing, or an instant-kill with a large item drop bonus. And if you don't want the equipment, you can pulverise it for even more smithereens!

Every Flaskfull of Hollow grants 150 turns of Merry Smithsness, a buff which grants +25 Smithsness and an additional +1% to all stats for every point of Smithsness that you have. The lump of Brituminous coal can be smithed into A Light that Never Goes Out, an offhand which grants +5 Smithsness and an additional +1% item drop bonus for every point of Smithsness. Each lump of coal can also be crafted into a wide variety of class-specific weapons, which grant +5 Smithsness and an additional 2% to the weapon's class-appropriate main stat for every point of Smithsness. That accounts for two of the three pieces of coal you can summon in a day, and that coal accounts for three of nine things that you can summon in a day.

In summary, this tome makes combat much easier, significantly speeds up levelling, gives huge item drop and meat drop bonuses, huge stat buffs, generates a significant amount of extra adventures and is also a potential source of yellow rays and banishing. And it will do most of these at the same time! Just make sure you choose a Degrassi Knoll moon sign for the free crafting and easy frilly skirt/maiden wig access.

Hasc01.gif Essential items that provide the greatest overall utility Hasc01.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
Clan VIP Lounge invitation

Clan VIP Lounge key

Recurring 2019* None The Clan VIP Lounge key can provide (in rough order of usefulness) access to any monster in the game (especially useful when combined with a copying familiar); daily equipment with good enchantments especially when it comes to Combat Frequency; awesome- to EPIC-quality booze with a variety of effects (as well as providing the only way to get your semi-rare number without a fortune cookie); awesome-quality food that gives powerful buffs; 50 turns of -combat per day; 30 turns of MP regen and +% spell damage, +items and +init, or +5 weight per day; 50 turns of +5% stat gain per day or an awesome hat on day 2; 30 turns of +10 Myst, +10 Moxie, +25 max MP, +50 max HP, +20 ML, or +40% Meat per day; and 5 free heals per day.

Note: This rating is based on the assumption of a fully stocked VIP Lounge. It will still be awesome with just the Hot Tub and Fax Machine, just not as awesome. Should your clan not have a furnished VIP Lounge, a whitelist to Bonus Adventures from Hell is free.

Also note: Expiration date refers to its latest reissuing, and while it is likely that periodical reissues of the invitation will ensure that it itself will never go out of Standard, different furniture has different expiration dates. Currently, only the Clan Floundry and Fortune Teller are still available inside a restricted run, as is the evergreen hot tub.

Gbottle cork.gif
corked genie bottle

Gbottle open.gif
genie bottle

September 2017 2020 None Another great item that belongs up here with the big boys, the Genie Bottle. Most of its power comes from its immense versatility in conjunction with other IOTMs, such as the Terminal, Time-Spinner, etc. Each day you get three wishes, but these can be banked (through the use of pocket wishes) in case you want to use two on one day and four on another, or a mixture of that sort for some reason. Each of those wishes allows you to either fight nearly any faxable monster in the game (writing desks, lobsterfrogmen, gaudy pirates, a ghost, and more), gain 20 turns of nearly any beneficial effect, gain a sizable chunk of substats (less than the Deck), or to gain a powerful shirt. Great all around item.
Chateau Mantegna room key
January 2015 2018 None The bed recovers many more MP than any other housing, while the ceiling fan gives +5 free rests per day (unless you prefer +3 adventures or fites). The desk item can give 1000 meat per day (good, but obsoleted by the Deck of Every Card), a smattering of random potions (often useful, but varies wildly between run types), or fancy calligraphy pens (zero ascension relevance, intended for hearts). The nightstand item adds massive substat gains to those free rests, assuming you didn't accidentally jump the gash with the wrong one in. And the painting provides a first-day fax-alike (the only one that's still Standard legal) and a daily copy for the rest of your run.
Pack of Every Card

Deck of Every Card

July 2015 2018 None The Deck of Every Card is given to you automatically at the beginning of any Hardcore ascension. You can draw 15 random cards from the deck every day, but its greatest power comes from cheating to pick any card that you have already found through random draws (and as such requires a little preparation), at the cost of 5 draws per cheat. This allows you to pick three cards every day, which can provide many different things. Among these are 500 substats in one specific stat which is good to kickstart a run with; an item that autosells for 10,000 meat; one of each ore from Itznotyerzitz Mine; a legend key that you do not have; 3 stone wool; strong daily weapons (especially useful if you do not have a Smith's Tome); permable skills (that do require you to draw mana cards to use); and, if you for some reason should need it, fighting a random monster of any phylum you want. Many more cards with benefits of varying value are available, giving you a lot of options depending on what you need - and if you like obnoxious puzzles, it's got one of those, too!
machine elf capsule

hatches into
Machine Elf

December 2015 2018 Familiar The Machine Elf is a strange but useful familiar that has a lot of different functions. At the start of combat, it can either delevel or stun the monster, or restore a massive amount of your HP or MP. At the end of combat, it can either provide a few substats, a small amount of meat or drop an abstraction. Abstractions are useable items that at the cost of 1 spleen provides 50 turns of a powerful buff - these include +100% to muscle, mysticality or moxie; or +25% to all muscle, mysticality or moxie gains. By visiting The Deep Machine Tunnels, an area that is unlocked in The Wrong Side of the Tracks with the Elf as your active familiar (or under the influence of a Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe, an item that the Elf can produce once a day), you can also convert some of these abstractions into other, stronger abstractions that for the same spleen cost provides +100% item drops, +10 familiar weight or +100% combat initiative (useful in The Defiled Alcove, for instance). With the Elf as your active familiar, your first five combats in the Tunnels will not consume an adventure. There might also be something special waiting for you down there. Finally, the Elf also ensures you'll have no problem against boss monsters, by giving you a very strong buff when you encounter them!
fairy-worn boots

hatches into
Pair of Stomping Boots

Apathargic Bandersnatch

hatches into
Frumious Bandersnatch

August 2011

March 2009

Expired Familiar These familiars can let you run away from fights without spending an adventure, allowing you to reroll a chance at a non-combat or burn down minimum adventure requirements in zones. The number of runaways you can get is based on the buffed weight of the familiar (one runaway per five lbs, and note that the counter is shared between them), and so it requires access to a lot of sources of familiar weight buffs until they start to save an appreciable number of turns, but are very powerful if you can achieve this. The Pair of Stomping Boots can double up as a spleen familiar whereas the Frumious Bandersnatch requires Ode to Booze to be active to get the runaways (and with Ode running, none of the other special abilities of the Bandersnatch works), making the boots the more useful of the two.

Hasc02.gif Very powerful items that provide a lot of general utility Hasc02.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
space planula

hatches into
Space Jellyfish

January 2017 2020 Familiar On the face of it, a barrrnacle that ensures you get the jump on monsters. But it also gives access to a variety of bonus adventures in certain zones, and most importantly, lets you suck the life-force out of your opponents and convert it into delicious jelly. Jelly comes in all the flavours of the elements, and can be consumed as-is at the cost of one spleen point each, or spread on toast to instead let you enjoy the effects at the cost of one fullness each, if stomach is what you have instead of spleen. Each jelly gives a buff for 25 (if eaten on toast) or 50 (if... spleened) adventures, but also enables a secondary effect once per jelly consumed - of special note are a banishing skill, a pseudo-yellow ray and forcing noncombats. See you next mission.
disconnected intergnat

hatches into

May 2016 2019 Familiar I don't always describe the Intergnat, but when I do... ahem. Sorry. The Intergnat is a fairytype familiar that drops BACON and changes monsters in a couple different ways. One modifier is applied every combat with the gnat active, modifiers that can give you MP, special skills, tentacles, even more BACON or part of a demon name. The demon name, that changes every ascension, provides different things that speeds up certain quests when summoned at different levels - a star chart if level 12, an antique machete, a cigarette lighter, and a tomb ratchet if level 11. The BACON that you acquire can be spent in the Internet Meme Shop, where you can buy success kids, dickbutts, loss edits... wait, no. You can buy yellow rays, copiers, daily dungeon malware that lets you hack Daily Dungeon monsters for extra fat loot tokens, and a button you can press to receive infinite BACON. And by "infinite", we mean "100 a day".
Witchess Set
March 2016 2019 None Lets you use Your Witchess Set from your Campground, where you can fight 5 Witchess pieces for free every day. Even if the Queen and Witch are a bit hard to handle, the easier pieces can give you 1-full EPIC food or booze, a potion that provides 25 turns of +25 ML and +10 stats per fight and a 1-toxicity spleen item giving you 50 turns of +50 Combat Initiative. And if you do manage to deal with the stronger ones, there's a solid shield, strong club, fancy crown and magical broom to be had. By solving daily puzzles you can also get a daily familiar weight buff that increases in power the more puzzles you solve, and once you've solved all 150 of them, provides 25 turns of +20 familiar weight without having to solve anything that day.

You can also Play Witchess against other players (or the world). While it doesn't provide any benefits, it gives you something to do when you're out of adventures!

yellow puck

hatches into
Puck Man

yellow puck with a bow on it

hatches into
Ms. Puck Man

June 2015 2018 Familiar Description of Puck
a cute angel

hatches into
Obtuse Angel

deanimated reanimator's coffin

hatches into
Reanimated Reanimator

February 2011

October 2013

Expired Familiar These familiars let you re-fight a monster 2-3 times, one of the few copying mechanisms available in HC. Saves many turns when used to acquire barrels of gunpowder and ninja climbing tools, along with various other useful targets. Can significantly speed up some Bounty Hunter Hunter hunts for those without Transcendent Olfaction. As the Reanimator gives you 3 copies without equipment, and can be tuned to perform a variety of functions on top of its default volleyball functionality, it has the edge over the angel.
Schmalz's First Prize Beer

hatches into

Moping Artistic Goth Kid

hatches into
Artistic Goth Kid

August 2010

June 2012



Familiar The Mini-Hipster and Artistic Goth Kid provide free combats with scaling monsters, an excellent source of stat gains. These free combats also count towards any minimum turn requirements in a zone despite not costing an adventure, allowing you to speed up some zones such as The Spooky Forest or The Penultimate Fantasy Airship, which require you to adventure in the zone a certain number of times before quest related non-combats are available. In the desert the free combats still count towards exploration and can drop worm-riding manual pages. The Hipster also provides a flat +3 stats or +25% items from its free equipment and can attack for massive damage, and the Goth Kid generates PvP fights.
stuffed-shirt scarecrow

hatches into
Fancypants Scarecrow

November 2011 Expired Familiar The Fancypants Scarecrow can offer a wide variety of very useful enchantments without requiring much additional effort. With the frilly skirt equipped it acts as a quadruple-weight fairy capped at 8lbs (32lbs effective). With the double-ice britches it acts as a triple-weight leprechaun capped at 17lbs (51lbs effective). With the swashbuckling pants it is a triple-weight potato capped at 20lbs (60lbs effective). Finally, if you're willing to spend a fax and yellow ray on a sleepy mariachi, you can get a double-weight fairy capped at 37lbs (74lbs effective). This familiar is particularly useful when you lack lots of familiar weight buffs.

Note: The Mad Hatrack may look similar at first glance, as it shares the double-weight fairy/potato enchantment with the spangly sombrero equipped. However, it lacks any other useful and easily accessible enchantments with the same level of utility as the scarecrow. As such it is not a recommended purchase.

A Garden Various Various Garden Gardens are a very powerful source of potential turn-gen and/or turn saving, but you can only have one active during an entire hardcore run, which massively depreciates the value of owning multiple different types. There are many gardens available, each with their own pros and cons, so it's recommended to look at the Garden Comparison at the bottom of the page and choose whichever you feel suits you best. If you intend to play under standard restrictions, note that Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog is currently your only option.
Your first Libram Various Expired Libram Librams let you convert excess MP into a range of useful items, but the costs of summoning increase with each summon and are shared between them. This makes owning multiple librams give diminishing returns. However, the first couple libram summons are incredibly cheap and so owning at least one libram can make a big difference to your runs. Please look at the Libram Comparison at the bottom of the page and choose whichever one you feel suits you best. Note that all currently existing Librams have expired from standard restrictions, and Jick has expressed interest in letting the Magical Bookshelf slots become entirely obsolete.

Hasc03.gif Strong items with narrower utility, but still useful Hasc03.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
heart-shaped crate
February 2017 2020 None LOV Education
li'l orphan tot

hatches into
Trick-or-Treating Tot

October 2016 2019 Familiar Description of tot
Dear Past Self Package


September 2016 2019 None A multipurpose item that gives you ten minutes a day to rip apart the fabric of space-time with. You can spend two minutes to visit the far future, where you can be the captain of a spaceship and earn medals. More medals mean you can get more items from your replicator, the most useful likely being 1-space EPIC food (well, beverage) and booze. You can adventure way back in time for one minute and one adventure to fight monsters that give no stats, but drop compounded experience that give you stats - the higher level you are, the more stats you get. For three minutes, you can travel back to a delicious meal and eat something you already ate, or for three minutes and one adventure, travel to a recent fight and fight a monster again. Note: The key word here is recent, meaning only monsters that currently exist in your adventure queue. Monsters you have fought as copies, wanderers or conditional monsters do not appear in the queue, and so can not be fought again with the Time-Spinner. Finally, for one minute you can play a time prank on somebody, to force them to fight you!
shrine to the Barrel god
September 2015 2018 None Description of shrine
portable Mayo Clinic
May 2015 2018 Workshed Description of Clinic
fist turkey outline

hatches into
Fist Turkey

November 2014 Expired Familiar Description of turkey
Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
May 2013 Expired None Allows you to plant flowers in zones that passively grant powerful bonuses in that zone for the rest of the ascension. Most useful are the item drop, +stat gains, +ml and mp regen plants. Unfortunately it can only be used a few times each day and is easy to forget, but on the plus side does not compete with anything else.
dreaming Jung man

hatches into
Angry Jung Man

2013 Expired Familiar Getting the digital key can take quite a lot of turns. One way to speed it up to to fax and copy a ghost, but an even better way is to use the Angry Jung Man for 30 turns until he drops a psychoanalytic jar, then use it on The Crackpot Mystic to access Fear Man's Level and fight morbid skulls. This saves both a fax and copy, as well as a significant number of turns.
panicked kernel

hatches into
Baby Bugged Bugbear

April 2010 Expired Familiar By visiting The Cake-Shaped Arena with the Baby Bugged Bugbear active, you'll get its unique equipment for free which can be folded into a bugged balaclava. This makes the familiar act as a volleyball and potato while also giving +20 ML, making give quite a lot of stats if you can survive the extra ML. The ML can also help speed up areas that benefit from more ML, such as The Defiled Cranny and Oil Peak.
suspicious stocking

hatches into
Stocking Mimic

December 2009 Expired Familiar Primarily used for the low chance of dropping Polka Pops at the end of a fight, which gives ten turns of a massive amount of meat and item drops. Also useful for giving tons of MP and BitterSweetTarts which give many stats per fight. Can be very swingy with its drops.
floaty stone sphere

hatches into

August 2009 Expired Familiar Yellow rays are extremely powerful, and the He-Boulder is one source of them. By this stage you can already access yellow rays from your tome summons, but using the He-Boulder instead will let you save your smithereens for something else. In addition, the He-Boulder's unique equipment will reduce the cool-down time from 150 turns to 100, letting you get in an extra yellow ray each day. You can also use its red ray for a small stat gain boost.
A spleen familiar Various Various Familiar There are a lot of spleen familiars available, that help you generate adventures from your spleen, each with their own advantages or disadvantages. Check the Spleen Familiar Comparison for a better overview of which might be suitable for you. If you intend to play under standard restrictions, note that the golden monkey statuette is your only option, and Jick has expressed interest in letting turngen from spleen become entirely obsolete.

Hasc04.gif Quality of Life items that are nice to have, but mostly serve to make your life a little easier Hasc04.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
DIY protonic accelerator kit

protonic accelerator pack

August 2016 2019 None Description of proton pack
detective school application
July 2016 2019 None Description of 11th precinct
Document thumb.gif
LT&T telegraph office deed
February 2016 2019 None Description of LT&T
X-32-F snowman crate
January 2016 2019 None Description of Snojo
basking robin
2016 2019 Familiar Description of robin
haunted doghouse
October 2015 2018 None Description of wiener
bottle of lovebug pheromones
February 2015 2018 None Description of bugs
potted tea tree
KoL Con 2015+ 2018 None Description of tea
Crimbo sapling

hatches into
Crimbo Shrub

December 2014 Expired Familiar Description of shrub
still grill

hatches into
Galloping Grill

June 2014 Expired Familiar Description of grill
Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
April 2014 Expired Workshed A handy little workshed item, the Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab provides an intrinsic that can be changed daily, and the creation of three potions per day. To get the most out of it, a fax is required, but the meat, item, and elemental damage buffs can all help to save a few turns over your run. It has some rather strong competition from the far less expensive snow machine (if you have a garden item) and the warbear induction oven (if you don't).
Xi Receiver Unit
KoL Con 2014+ Expired Eudora Description of Xiblaxian
KoLHS Pep Squad Box

hatches into
Steam-Powered Cheerleader

September 2013 Expired Familiar For the first 25 turns per day the Steam-Powered Cheerleader is a fairy at 1.4 times the weight. For the next 25 turns its at 1.3 times weight. After that the Jumpsuited Hound Dog beats it. At its most useful when you have access to a lot of familiar weight boosts (to beat the Fancypants Scarecrow with a frilly skirt equipped) and are in a zone where you don't need +combat (such as The F'c'le, where the hound dog is better overall).
GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
February 2013 Expired Eudora Each day this will let you pick up a dungeoneering kit for free, which contains a soft green echo eyedrop antidote, which allows you to use Transcendent Olfaction more often. The other scrolls inside the kit also help survive strong battles early on, such as The Haunted Bedroom, or to survive A-Boo clues, or to pass elemental resistance requirements. It's also an easy source of scaling monsters, useful for powerlevelling, and an alternative source of fat loot tokens, although it takes more turns to get them this way than via The Daily Dungeon. The scrolls are typically more useful when you have fewer skills permed.
deactivated nanobots

hatches into

November 2012 Expired Familiar While the Nanorhino can provide yellow rays like the He-Boulder, the main reason to pick it up is to gain a full-day banish once per day. This banish requires access to a muscle combat guild skill (or Toss/Clobber) to use. While this banish frees up a tome use/smithereens or lets you stack multiple banishes, banishes that are not also free runaways do not save many turns.
Camp Scout backpack
July 2012 Expired None Receive various items after every so many combats, even with the backpack in Hagnk's. While you may not hit the epic-quality food every day, the fire-starting kit is amazing for quality of life, and you can't say no to 300 meat, 20 turns of +30 to all attributes and great filler booze. The MP regeneration in particular can save a fair amount of meat and shouldn't be under-estimated. Best of all, it doesn't compete with anything else.
Medium small.gif
Small Medium

hatches into
Medium 0.gif
Happy Medium

March 2012 Expired Familiar The Happy Medium is a full-weight volleyball and half-weight oily woim that can make a variety of two drunkenness booze that gives higher adventures-per-drunkenness than stilled disco bandit cocktails. These boozes also provide a variety of strong buffs based on the phylum of the monster siphoned, the most practical of which are high elemental damage for skipping non-combats in the tavern (horrors and demons), and +50% inititative (bugs). The charge time to get the drinks increases with each drink made that day so don't expect to make many. The utility of this familiar is even higher in some special challenge paths where you don't have access to cocktailcrafting, but these days there are many options for easy access to EPIC-tier booze, making it hard for the Medium's drinks to compete.
Monster Manuel
Evergreen Never None While the Monster Manuel is not strictly an item of the month as it can always be purchased in Mr. Store, it's a helpful item that will provide in-combat stats such as attack, defense and current HP for the monster you're fighting. It will additionally reveal the phylum and elemental alignment of the monster, something that can be used for combat macros if you want to use specific moves against specific kinds of monsters. Not essential in any way, but does also give you amusing factoids in addition to boring statistics.
A second Libram Various Expired Libram While libram summons get more and more expensive with each cast, it's easy to fit in enough summons to get a wider variety of benefits. Keep in mind that some librams love lots and lots of summons, while others benefit more from only a few. Pick carefully, and consult the Libram Comparison to help make up your mind.
A second Tome Various Expired Tome The Smith's Tome may be all-powerful, but you usually have enough summons spare across an ascension to dip into other tomes to get some more niche utility. Consult the Tome Comparison to help figure out which other tome suits you best.

Hasc05.gif Niche items with extremely minor uses Hasc05.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Slot Description
The Confiscator's Grimoire
August 2014 Expired Grimoire Description of confiscations
Grimgolem sleep.gif
hibernating Grimstone Golem

hatches into
Grimstone Golem

2014 Expired Familiar A fairychaun that drops a grimstone mask, which can take you to The Prince's Ball where you can spend turns collecting odd silver coins. These can be traded in to speed up building the bridge above The Orc Chasm or exploring the desert. The problem: it takes at least 40 turns using this familiar until the mask drops, and it's very very difficult to fit in enough uses of the familiar to get the mask while it's still useful. If you are a PvP player this familiar is all but essential. Using a mask will give you access to the Inner Wolf Gym for the workoutfit and high-quality pvp consumables. Unfortunately monsters from the Wolf Gym are not copyable, so you must have this familiar to get access to the workoutfit's 10 daily rollover fights.
Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
March 2011 Expired Grimoire Gives you a daily Ye Wizard's Shack snack voucher, which is good for 15 turns of Kill Everything Mode. Generally only needed to pull off weird strategies or kill really hard enemies.
organ grinder

hatches into
Knob Goblin Organ Grinder

October 2010 Expired Familiar The Knob Goblin Organ Grinder is a leprechaun that provides awesome-quality food that grants 20 turns of +2 mainstat/fight, as long as you use it against bosses. These make excellent filler food as they are only 2 fullness. As newer IotMs have made EPIC quality food much more available, the usefulness of the Grinder has diminished greatly.
glowing frisbee

hatches into
Rogue Program

June 2010 Expired Familiar While you won't be using the Rogue Program to generate spleen, his Game Grid tokens can be traded in for finger cuffs and the little parachute guy, the latter which can be useful for MP restoration.
More Librams! Various Expired Libram Need even more niche utility? Diversify your portfolio! New librams that benefit from lots of summons are questionable at this stage.
More Tomes! Various Expired Tome If a tome you don't have can provide some useful niche utility and you can spare the summon, then consider getting it, but more than 3 tomes is pushing it, and you never know how brokenly overpowered the next one to be released will be...

Any IotMs not found in this list can be considered to not have any real use inside a Hardcore ascension.

Comparison Tables

Some mechanics that share a "slot" benefit from additional analysis. Items within these tables are listed roughly in order of usefulness.

Spleen Familiar Comparison

Cannedair.gif Familiars that generate many turns per day by filling your spleen Cannedair.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Description
praying Grim Brother

hatches into
Grim Brother

2014 Expired A volleychaun that drops Grim fairy tales. The fairy tales have no level requirement, generate 5-10 adventures and give ~25 of each stat. It also provides 30 turns of a minor buff (initiative, HP/MP, or weapon/spell damage) once per day. A point worth mentioning, although it is not Hardcore relevant, is that this familiar has additional use for softcore and aftercore by giving +combat when placed in the Crown of Thrones or Buddy Bjorn.
avatar of the Unconscious Collective

hatches into
Unconscious Collective

2013 Expired A volleychaun that drops Unconscious Collective Dream Jars. The jars have no level requirement, generate 5-10 adventures and give ~25 of each stat. It also provides 3 free rests per day even if it never leaves your terrarium.
The Groose in the Hoose

hatches into
Bloovian Groose

2012 Expired A volleychaun that drops groose grease. The grease has no level requirement, generates 5-10 adventures and gives ~25 to each stat.
fairy-worn boots

hatches into
Pair of Stomping Boots

August 2011 Expired A fairy that can smash enemies into pastes. The pastes have a level 4 requirement, generate 5-10 adventures, give ~20 of each stat and various buffs based on the type of enemy killed, although they are mostly just a minor boon. However, generating the paste requires you to forfeit all stats and item drops from the monster. This familiar also grants free runaways based on its buffed weight, getting you two-for-one on useful mechanics, making it very good value, even though it's not the strictly best spleen familiar.
glowing frisbee

hatches into
Rogue Program

Jun 2010 Expired A starfish that drops Game Grid tokens, which can be turned into 10 tickets (via the Broken Skee-Ball Machine) and traded for coffee pixie sticks. The sticks have a level 4 requirement, generate 5-10 adventures and give no stats. When not trading in the tickets for pixie sticks, they can be used for finger cuffs, which are a cheap source for multi-round stuns, or little parachute guys for extra HP/MP restore.
infant sandworm

hatches into
Baby Sandworm

Jun 2009 Expired A sombrero that drops agua de vida. This has a level 4 requirement, generates 5-10 adventures and gives no stats (and opens some non-speed-relevant content).
llama lama cria

hatches into
Llama Lama

Jun 2008 Expired A half-weight volleyball that drops llama lama gongs. These can be used to get Form of...Bird!, which can generate a glimmering roc feather after 15 turns. These feathers have a level 4 requirement, generate 6-10 adventures and give ~25 of each stat. Unfortunately, there is a chance to fail generating the roc feather when adventuring in areas with lots of non-combats, and doing so can be quite MP intensive (and likely to get you Beaten Up because your human combat skills are all unavailable). Due to the sheer effort involved in obtaining the feathers, using this familiar to generate spleen items is not recommended.

The gongs can also be used for powerlevelling via Form of...Cockroach! (with a +item or +ML buff at the end), and bird form can also generate other feathers that give powerful buffs for 1 spleen.

bottled green pixie

hatches into
Green Pixie

June 2007 Expired A fairy that drops tiny bottles of absinthe. These allow you to adventure in The Worm Wood, and by adventuring in the right places at the right time, you can receive a not-a-pipe. The pipes have a level 4 requirement, generate 4-12 adventures and give ~25 to each stat. As it costs 3-6 turns minimum to collect the pipes, undoing most of their benefit, using this familiar to generate spleen items is not recommended.

Garden Comparison

Pumpseeds.gif Gardens grow various crops in your campground. They cannot be swapped during a hardcore ascension. Sorted by release date. Pumpseeds.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Description
Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog

packet of thanksgarden seeds

November 2016 2019 The only Standard-legal garden. DESCRIPTION GOES HERE.
Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog

packet of winter seeds

January 2014 Expired The main benefit of this garden is its flexibilty, providing many combinations of turn cutting and turn generating abilities. It gives you 3 snow berries and 3 ice harvests per day, and if you leave it alone for 3 days, a frost flower as well. It synergises particularly well with the snow machine workshed item when not going for a frost flower. Its turn cutting options are quite powerful, primarily the snow cleats for -combats, the snow boards to speed up building the bridge above The Orc Chasm, and the unfinished ice sculpture to copy one monster per day. Its turn generating options are flexible but generally lower quality than the other gardens, with the snow crab only granting a single point of fullness at epic quality. However, the Ice Island Long Tea is a reasonable nightcap and the berries and harvests can be eaten directly.
Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog

packet of beer seeds

KoL Con 2013+ Expired Each day your crops can be traded in for 3 1-drunkenness beers that give quite high stat gains to a particular stat. If you're willing to leave the garden unharvested for at least 3 days you can gain a single 2-drunkenness beer to replace one of the 1-drunkenness ones. By leaving the garden for a massive 7 days you can get an artisanal homebrew gift package that might give you beers with large item or meat drop bonuses in time for the war sidequests, if your ascension is particularly slow. However, frost flowers from the winter garden give the same bonuses but are easier to get, leaving this garden largely outclassed.
Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog

packet of dragon's teeth

October 2012 Expired This garden generates 5 skeletons per day. The primary use of this garden is to unlock access to the island via the skeletal skiff, which requires 7 skeletons. This was much more useful before an update to the game reduced the number of shore trips needed to unlock the island from 5 to 3. The skeleton quiche gives two fullness of epic quality food for only 3 of your 5 daily skeletons, letting you make one alongside the skiff. The crystal skeleton vodka (5 skeletons) gives 3 drunkenness of epic quality booze with an item drop and ML buff.
Pep catalog.gif
Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog

Pep seeds.gif
Peppermint Pip Packet

December 2011 Expired When it comes to turngen this garden is unmatched. You get 3 Peppermint sprouts per day, each directly convertible into a peppermint twist that can be mixed with base bottles of booze for a total of 6 drunkenness of epic quality booze. However, this does require getting enough basic booze bottles to cover each day's use. It also offers some turn cutting options, primarily a free runaway item (5 sprouts) and guaranteed pickpocket (3 sprouts). In longer runs, the parasols may cut more turns than any other garden option. Can be very useful in some special challenge paths.
Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog

packet of pumpkin seeds

November 2010 Expired The original garden and now generally outclassed, it provides a single pumpkin per day. Its only useful turncutting option is the pumpkin bomb, which is a yellow ray source that requires you to farm up a Knob Goblin firecracker, making it the worst yellow ray source. It is marginally the best garden for pure turngen from food, giving three fullness of epic quality food per day via the pumpkin pie, and the pumpkin beer epic quality booze comes in the form of three individual one drunkenness drinks, which can offer flexibility.

Tome Comparison

Book3.gif Skills that summon powerful things. Limited to 3 uses per day total across all of them. Book3.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Description
The Smith's Tome
December 2013 Expired See the main entry in the top Tier for why this tome is so powerful. A must-have that strongly outclasses all other tomes, with only niche exceptions.
Tome of Rad Libs
KoL Con 2012+ Expired The primary use for this tome is to spend two summons to get Papier-mâché toothpicks, which give 40 turns of +50% meat and +25% items. This is equivalent to a farily lucky two summons of the sticker tome without requiring your weapon slot and without any randomness. Managing to find room for two tome summons can be very tricky.
Tome of Clip Art
September 2011 Expired This tome can generate one out of a massive pool of items. The box of Familiar Jacks can give you any familiar's unique familiar equipment at no turn cost, useful for the He-Boulder and Obtuse Angel. The borrowed time can help you finish the ascension if you run out of turns at the Sorceress's Tower. The bucket of wine is a very powerful nightcap when combined with Ode to Booze. The time halo gives 5 adventures per day, and if you're fighting unarmed, the shining halo is 3 stats per fight, the frosty halo is +25% items, the furry halo is +5 familiar weight. The unbearable light is a yellow ray and the crystal skull is a 20-turn banisher. The Ur-Donut can give lots of stats on day 1 to kick-start your ascension.

This tome was much more useful before The Smith's Tome occupied your hand slots while simultaneously providing a yellow-ray or banish source for the same summon, but the jacks, borrowed time and time halo still have utility. Becomes much more useful in a Way of the Surprising Fist run, and fetches a much, much lower price than Smith's.

Tome of Sugar Shummoning
September 2009 Expired The primary use for this tome these days is the sugar shield, familiar equipment that lasts 30 turns and gives +10 familiar weight. Useful for extra free-runaways, the nuns, and situational item drop boosts.
Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
November 2008 Expired Very swingy, each summon provides three stickers. You also get a weapon that holds up to three of them, and each sticker lasts for 20 turns. The first sticker is +2 stats per fight or +25% items. The second is +10% to all stats or +25% meat. The third is +10 spell and weapon damage or +15 prismatic damage. While these stickers can be stacked for huge item or meat drop bonuses, it can take a lot of summons to get enough of the correct type of sticker. Requiring the use of your weapon slot conflicts with The Smith's Tome.
Tome of Snowcone Summoning
Jan 2006 Expired Very swingy and totally outclassed by all other tomes at this point. If this is the only tome you own, consider upgrading, as all other tomes are a better use of your limited daily summons. While the individual snowcone effects are quite powerful, it is a crapshoot as to whether or not you will get the buff you want.

Libram Comparison

Book4.gif Skills that summon things. MP costs rise with each use, and is shared between all librams.Book4.gif
Item Name Month Sold Standard Expiry Date Description
Libram of Pulled Taffy
April 2013 Expired Summons a single taffy from a pool of 7, 4 of which are more common. These can be used as potions or combat items, but can only be used in combat in The Sea, meaning that they only have use as potions during Hardcore ascensions. The potions give a number of useful buffs, the 4 common ones being +familiar weight and bonus stat gains (one for each stat). The uncommon ones are HP regen, MP regen and both +items and +meat at the same time. Each buff lasts for 10 turns and scales with the number of turns remaining, but can be stacked for larger boosts, capped at 50 turns. In general the Libram of Resolutions is better value per summon but this libram can get you easier access to lots of familiar weight and if you are able and willing to pump lots of MP into it can get you very powerful boosts. More useful the less other librams you have.
Libram of Resolutions
January 2012 Expired Each summon generates a resolution, most of which grant 20 turns of a buff. There are 9 in total, although 3 are significantly rarer than the others. The 6 common ones are +2 muscle per fight, +2 myst per fight, +2 moxie per fight, +15% item drops, +30% meat drops, and +20 weapon and spell damage. The three rarer summons are +5 familiar weight, +2 adventures at rollover, and "bonus luck". While this libram can be somewhat swingy, with half of the common summons being significantly better than the others (items, meat and mainstat), the buffs do last for a long time and are quite powerful.
Gygaxian Libram
KoL Con 2011+ Expired Summons one die from a pool of 6 types. These have almost no practical benefits in-run barring some crappy restoration potions that might cost more to summon than they restore.
Libram of BRICKOs
February 2010 Expired This libram summons BRICKO bricks that can be multi-used en masse to construct a number of things. The primary use in hardcore ascensions is to create BRICKO monsters which you can fight at no turn cost, generating you stats. These fights are different from other free combats in that they can be copied, if you have the copies spare, which can ultimately lead to a fair amount of free stats. Has niche use, and requires lots and lots of summons to get the most out of it.
Libram of Love Songs
February 2009 Expired Each summon gives one of 6 love songs, which can be used either as a scaling combat item (similar to those from the Libram of Divine Favors) or as a scaling potion, (similar to those from the Libram of Pulled Taffy). However, the scaling potion effect is worse than those from the taffy, leaving this libram totally outclassed. The combat damage is elemental and so used to have a niche use against physically resistant monsters before every class gained skills that let them deal elemental damage. It no longer has any practical use during a hardcore ascension as other alternatives are much better.
Libram of Divine Favors
January 2008 Expired This libram has two types of summon, common ones and rare ones. The rare summons initially have a 50% chance of appearing but this chance halves each time you get a rare summon that day. The common summons are one of three combat items that deal physical dmage equal to your buffed stats (one for each stat). The rare summons are a one-use pickpocket with bonus drop chance, MP restore when drinking booze, and a 5-turn banish that's also a free runaway. The latter item is very powerful and is pretty much the sole reason why you want to summon from this libram. Due to the decreasing chance of receiving one, it's advised you summon from this libram until your first or second rare, then swap to other librams for the rest of the day.
Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
February 2007 Expired Each summon gives you one of 6 candy hearts, each granting 10 turns of a minor buff, as well as +3 to each stat. This was much more useful when the game used to not let you adventure in a zone until you had an arbitrary amount of buffed main stat, as the +3 stat from each type of heart could be stacked together. Now that is no longer the case, the boosts are totally outclassed by the Libram of Resolutions and you are unlikely to summon from this libram.

See Also

Ascension Strategy
Rankings: HC Skills - HC Familiars - HC IotMs
General: Class selection - Familiar usage - Semi-rares - Clovers
Paths: BHY - Fist - AoB - BI - ZS - AoJ - BIG! - KOLHS - CA2 - AoSP - SS - HR - Picky - Ed - Random - AoWoL - Source - NA - GN - LtA - L.A.R. - PF - G-Lover - DD
IotMs: Tomes - Faxing - Copying - YR - Garden - Correspondent - Workshed - Tea party - Florist