Topiary golem

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Topiary golem
Monster ID 205
Locations The Hedge Maze/Old
Hit Points 220
Attack 235
Defense 211
No-Hit 245
Initiative 80
Meat None
Phylum plant
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Quest hedge maze puzzle
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
topiary golem You're fighting a topiary golem

In the Sorceress' Hedge Maze, you encounter this hideous golem made out of well-trimmed bushes. You really admire the guy that got close enough to this thing to trim it so nicely.

Hit Message(s):

He kicks you with one of his leafy, thorny feet. You scream in pain with your leafy, thorny throat. Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Ow!

He smacks you in the <knee> with one exquisitely manicured fist. You appreciate the aesthetics while you bleed. Ow! Oof! Ooh! Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

It steps on what appears to be a pile of fertilizer and grows to twice its original size. It rears back a tree-sized fist and coldcocks you. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to attack, but is distracted by the pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands who is giving him a manicure.

He tries to smack you with a fist, but notices an ingrown berry and stops to pick it out.

Fumble Message:

It lunges toward you, but falls flat on its face as one of its legs breaks in half. Termites! (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Puzzle.gifYou acquire an item: hedge maze puzzle (60% chance)*
You gain 58 <substat>.

Occurs at The Hedge Maze.


  • At first you could not steal a hedge maze puzzle from the golem due to it being a quest item, but now it is possible.


  • The "pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands" is Edward Scissorhands, from Tim Burton's 1990 movie of the same name.
  • The fumble message may be a reference to an episode of the TV series Futurama where the character Bender downgrades to a wooden version of himself. During one part of the episode, he attempts to save his friends from a fire only to have his wooden leg snap in half and have termites pour out. This is also accompanied by the phrase "Termites!"
  • In Zork II: the Wizard of Frobozz, there is a courtyard area in which, if the player waits for a few turns, the hedges will attack.