|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
You're temporarily blinded by the flash of a mouth full of gold teeth. The pirate attached to the teeth sees you squint and grins. "Wow," you say, "you must be a field day for the tooth fairy!"
"What did ye call me?" he asks, unable to see your comma placement. Great, looks like you're getting in another fight.
He bites you with his golden motorcycles. Wait, those are choppers, baby. Choppers. Ugh! Ouch! Ow!
He bites you in the <ear>. Man, this bites. Oof! Oof! Ugh!
He bites you with the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. Ooh! Ugh! Oof!
You're momentarily distracted by a gleam of light from one of his many gold teeth. He takes advantage of your distraction, and kicks you in the <eye>. Ow! Ooh! Ow!
He punches you heavily in the <nipple>. Looks like he has a golden arm in addition to the golden tooth. And probably a gold finger and a golden eye, and possibly a golden gun. Maybe even a moonraker. Ow! Ow! Oof! Ugh!
He tries to bite you with his golden motorcycles, but you point out they're actually choppers.
He tries to bite you, but is stricken with a toothache. What time is it? Tooth hurty.
He tries to bite you on the <arse>, but being a bit too long in the tooth, he misses by several inches.
He tries to bite you in the <head>, but you counter with some biting criticism.
He rears back for another bite, but a messenger appears with an envelope for him. He opens it, sees that it's his dental bill, and promptly keels over in a dead faint. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 36-54 Meat (average: 45, stdev: 4.06)*|
|You acquire an item: bottle of rum (18.2% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: cocktail napkin (9.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: gold toothbrush (? chance)*|
|You gain 20-24 <substat>.|
Occurs at Barrrney's Barrr
- Using a tube of Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste on this monster results in a gain of about 100-150 MP, with the following message:
- You drop the tube of toothpaste on the ground, and the toothy pirate immediately picks it up.
- "Yarrr. Just what I've been lookin' fer," he says, as he whips out a toothbrush and goes to town on his teeth.
- When he's done, he beams a smile at you -- a smile so bright that you're pretty sure it makes a creepy outline of your silhouette on the wall behind you.