You're fighting a toothy pirate
You're temporarily blinded by the flash of a mouth full of gold teeth. The pirate attached to the teeth sees you squint and grins.
"Wow," you say, "you must be a field day for the tooth fairy!"
"What did ye call me?" he asks, unable to see your comma placement. Great, looks like you're getting in another fight.
Critical Hit Message:
He bites you with his golden motorcycles. Wait, those are choppers, baby. Choppers. Oof! Ow! Ow!
He bites you in the <bung>. Man, this bites. Ugh! Ouch! Ooh!
He bites you with the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Ooh! Eek! Ugh!
You're momentarily distracted by a gleam of light from one of his many gold teeth. He takes advantage of your distraction, and kicks you in the <bung>.
Ugh! Oof! Argh!
He punches you heavily in the <bung>. Looks like he has a golden arm in addition to the golden tooth. And probably a gold finger and a golden eye, and possibly a golden gun. Maybe even a moonraker. Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Oof!
He tries to bite you with his golden motorcycles, but you point out they're actually choppers.
He tries to bite you, but is stricken with a toothache. What time is it? Tooth hurty.
He tries to bite you on the <bung>, but being a bit too long in the tooth, he misses by several inches.
He tries to bite you in the <bung>, but you counter with some biting criticism.
He rears back for another bite, but a messenger appears with an envelope for him. He opens it, sees that it's his dental bill, and promptly keels over in a dead faint.
|You gain 36-54 Meat (average: 45, stdev: 4.06)*|
Occurs at Barrrney's Barrr
- You drop the tube of toothpaste on the ground, and the toothy pirate immediately picks it up.
- "Yarrr. Just what I've been lookin' fer," he says, as he whips out a toothbrush and goes to town on his teeth.
- When he's done, he beams a smile at you -- a smile so bright that you're pretty sure it makes a creepy outline of your silhouette on the wall behind you.