You're fighting The Whole Kingdom
You perch on your left foot's toes and stomp down on the entire west coast of the Kingdom with your right foot. The earth shakes, you almost lose your footing, and you hear a faint chorus of outraged cries from below you. "Mwa-ha-ha!" you shout. "Who can stand against me! I am a GOD!"
Then you realize that was over the top, and sure, maybe they can't hurt you, but that's no reason to be a jerk about it. Oh, well -- everyone's mad at you, now, so you're going to have to defend yourself.
Critical Hit Message:
You feel a tippity-tap on one toe. It was probably an army of bugbears viciously clawing at you, but it's not overly effectual. Eek!
You shift your weight and feel a tiny bump under one toe -- looks like you stepped on the hidden pyramid. Whoops. Argh!
You trip and fall onto Spookyraven manor, getting a nightstand lodged in your palm like a splinter. You brush it away. Oof!
A bitchin' meatcar crashes into one of your toes. It feels like being tickled with a feather. Ooh!
Every single monster in the Kingdom, including the bosses, gather together and all hit you in the big toe at the same time. It tickles a little. Ouch!
An alphabet giant hurls a letter at you. It taps faintly against one of the hairs on your forearm.
You feel a tiny tap on one heel. It's probably an army of frat boys furiously trying to paddle whatever of you they can reach.
A cannonball launched from the airshift gets caught in your eyelashes, but you brush it away.
You inhale a little of the cloud you're in, and it makes you sneeze -- must have been some of the smoke from the hippy camp.
Every single monster in the Kingdom, including the bosses, gather together and all simultaneously fail to hit you. Wow, that's what I call an epic fail.
- As exciting as this fight must be for the people on the ground, it's getting pretty boring for you. You stop caring completely, then stand around and wait to return to your normal size.
- Combat items are ineffective, resulting in the message:
- That item wouldn't accomplish anything at this scale.
- Attacks are also nigh-ineffective, as everything does only one point of damage. Fortunately, the combined efforts of the entire Kingdom also do very, very little damage.