The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm

From TheKolWiki

The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm
Location	The Big Mountains
Unlocks	unknown
Min Stat	68
Combat %	100
ML	75 - 87
Special adventures
Clover	None
Semi-rare	Some Bad ASCII Art
Bad Moon	Mistaken Identity, LOL
edit data

This area, found in The Big Mountains, opens up once you have the bridge in your inventory. Before the bridge it was The Orc Chasm. It is populated mostly by the horrid denizens of the Internet chat room, who will inflict bad spelling damage upon you, and a really angry adding machine. If your main stat isn't high enough, you will see the following message:

As you near the Valley, you hear the beating of drums. Sinister drums. Nearby sinister drums. You freak out, and can go no further.

All monsters here, except a rampaging adding machine, suffer 30-60 damage from the dictionary (or facsimile dictionary), which can be used without being consumed.

Combat Adventures

1335 HaXx0r -- (edit metadata)
1335 HaXx0r	Item Drops: 1337 7r0uZ0RZ, 334 scroll, Dyspepsi-Cola Meat Drop: 24-36 Substat Gain: 20.25 Monster Level: 81 Moxie for No Hit*: 88 Hit Points: 71 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

Anime Smiley -- (edit metadata)
Anime Smiley	Item Drops: 334 scroll, Tasty Fun Good rice candy Meat Drop: None Substat Gain: 19.25 Monster Level: 77 Moxie for No Hit*: 84 Hit Points: 67 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

Flaming Troll -- (edit metadata)
Flaming Troll	Item Drops: flaming talons, Trollhouse cookies Meat Drop: 32-48 Substat Gain: 20.75 Monster Level: 83 Moxie for No Hit*: 90 Hit Points: 73 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

Lamz0r N00b -- (edit metadata)
Lamz0r N00b	Item Drops: 33398 scroll, draggin' ball hat Meat Drop: 24-36 Substat Gain: 19.75 Monster Level: 79 Moxie for No Hit*: 86 Hit Points: 69 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

me4t begZ0r -- (edit metadata)
me4t begZ0r	Item Drops: meat vortex Meat Drop: None Substat Gain: 21.75 Monster Level: 87 Moxie for No Hit*: 94 Hit Points: 77 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

rampaging adding machine -- (edit metadata)
rampaging adding machine	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Substat Gain: 20 Monster Level: 80 Moxie for No Hit*: 87 Hit Points: 70 Elemental Resistance: none Elemental Weakness: none Physical Resistance: none

Spam Witch -- (edit metadata)
Spam Witch	Item Drops: 30669 scroll, Spam Witch sammich Bounty: sammich crust Meat Drop: 24-36 Substat Gain: 21.25 Monster Level: 85 Moxie for No Hit*: 92 Hit Points: 75 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

XXX pr0n -- (edit metadata)
XXX pr0n	Item Drops: f3d0r4, lowercase N, pr0n legs Meat Drop: 24-36 Substat Gain: 18.75 Monster Level: 75 Moxie for No Hit*: 82 Hit Points: 68 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none

Some Bad ASCII Art -- (edit metadata)
Some Bad ASCII Art	Item Drops: ASCII shirt, 30669 scroll, 33398 scroll, 334 scroll, 334 scroll Meat Drop: None Substat Gain: 21 Monster Level: ? Moxie for No Hit*: ? Hit Points: 72 Elemental Resistance: bad spelling Elemental Weakness: dictionary Physical Resistance: none Note: A semi-rare adventure. Note: The ASCII shirt will not drop unless you have the Torso Awaregness skill.

Non-combat Adventures

Mistaken Identity, LOL
Mistaken Identity, LOL	Note: Gives 10 turns of Scared Stiff. Note: Bad Moon only.

Notes

• According to a Mr Skullhead post on the KoL forums from early in 2007, "Jick maintains that the Valley is not, in fact, intended to resemble a part of the female anatomy. Originally, when you used the bridge, you got a new picture that looked even more like female anatomy, complete with mountains that looked like knees up in the air and a well-placed tree at the cleft where they met. However, Jick got tired of people snickering and took the picture out." The original image, for your consideration:

References

• The name "The Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm" is a play on a non-existent area in Zork 1. In the bundled "invisiClues," one could get help for Zork 1 with the use of a special pen that made hints appear below corresponding questions. The hints were divided by sections of the game, and one section was labeled "The Land Beyond the Chasm." The guide talks extensively about a bridge that can neither be found nor created, and, thus, the area is inaccessible. The section's purpose was to ensure that players couldn't spoil themselves by reading the questions and determining the answers; many other questions had no relevance to gameplay, and still others contained large amounts of blank space in order to fool a player into thinking that might be an important question. An online version of invisiClues for Zork 1 can be found here.
• Try saying "Orc Chasm" out loud.
• "The Valley of Rof L'm Fao" stands for "The Valley of Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Freakin' Ass Off."
• All of the monsters in this area make heavy use of Leetspeak, a type of internet slang that changes the spelling of English words by replacing letters with visually similar symbols (especially letters for numbers, such as 1 for L).