The Thing with No Name

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What stuff does he drop? Do you know what he's got?
One drink or some food, and a skillbook, or not?
We must find his blocking rate - higher, or low?
And how does his damage cut work - do you know?


The Thing with No Name
Monster ID 1143
Locations An Altar
Hit Points 1000
Attack 200
Defense 225
No-Hit 210
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum humanoid
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
green eggnog, green hamhock, The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants, Ghost Pinching Quarterly, The Snitch's Manifesto
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
The Thing with No Name You're fighting The Thing with No Name

The Thing with no Name sits quite still. He just sits!
Before he begins to do something, he quits.
He's only defined by the things he won't do:
The eggs he won't eat and the ham he won't chew.
He won't move a muscle! He won't even teeter!
What's worse is he won't even follow the meter:

"I will not eat them in a lake! "I will not eat them with a snake! "I will not eat them on a bike! "I will not eat them with a pike!"

See his wretched refusal to rumpty-tum-tum!
Please do me a favor and roundhouse this bum!

Hit Message(s):

He will kick you in the face!
He will kick you into space!
Ouch! Ooh! Eek!

He will not hit you in the eye!
But he will hit you in the thigh!
Oof! Argh! Ooh!

He will not hit you in the knee!
He'll hit your eye, so you can't see!
Ooh! Ow! Eek!

He will not kick you in the junk!
Wait, he will kick you in the junk!
Argh! Ugh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He will hit you on the knee, and on a plane, and in a tree!
He will hit you like an ox! He will hit you with a fox!
He will hit you with a mace! He will hit you in the face!
He will hit you very hard! He is going to punch your card!
Ugh! Ugh! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He will not kick you in the junk!
He will not kick you with a punk!

He will not kick you in the face!
He will not kick you out in space!

He will not hit you in the knee!
He will not hit you in a tree!

Fumble Message:

He will not hit you in the face, or on your knee, or with a mace,
Or in the thigh, or with a stoat, or in the eye, or on a boat! (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Coffeecup.gifYou acquire some glasses of green eggnog
Ham.gifYou acquire some green hamhocks
Book3.gifYou acquire an item: The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
Origamimag.gifYou acquire an item: Ghost Pinching Quarterly
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: The Snitch's Manifesto

Victory text:

The Thing with no Name is destroyed. Way to go!
But there's something that's happening that you should know,
For the Altar of Dis has emerged where he stood,
And it looks like it maybe could do you some good.
Now there's just two places for you to put stones,
You should find some more stones in Suburbian[sic] zones!

Occurs at An Altar.

Notes

  • Combat messages are displayed normally in this fight - they do not use the anapest combat scheme.
  • The Thing will sometimes block the use of items with the message:
    The item you tossed just collapsed to the floor,
    "I can't do it!" it moans, "It's too much of a chore!"
    This fight's getting tough! Do you think you should yield?
    This Thing is projecting an Apathy Field!
  • Current spading indicates the specific consumables dropped are random, but the number of consumables is based on the number of combats spent in The Suburbs of Dis, including any free runaways. Note that this drop count does not include the skill item (codex/quarterly/manifesto).
10? or fewer combats 25 or fewer combats 26-50 combats 51-75 combats 76 or more combats
5 consumables 4 consumables 3 consumables 2 consumables 1 consumable

References

  • The Thing is a reference to the unnamed character in Green Eggs and Ham, who repeatedly insists that he does not like the titular dish.