The Sorceress' Tower contains a series of six randomly-selected enemies, each of which has enormously high stats but can be defeated with a specific combat item. The monsters are different for each player, and each ascension.
Due to their extremely high Monster Level, even a low-weight Hovering Sombrero will radically increase stat point gains from them. Specifically, the tower monsters give 40 substats when defeated, but a Sombrero uses their actual attack value of 99,999 to determine the bonus stats you receive from the familiar. With such high ML, even a 6-pound sombrero gives almost 78 bonus stats, and heavier ones give much more.
Resourceful players can sometimes kill the Tower monsters, but most players cannot. If you are faced with a Tower monster for which you don't have the necessary item or the resources to kill it, run away. Get the item by buying it in the mall, pulling it, or adventuring until it drops, then return to the Tower.
- For Bees Hate You runs, all the monsters in the Tower will be giant bees. (This can be countered by obtaining a packet of orchid seeds.)
- The first 5 tower monsters will be randomly chosen from the following chart:
Like the stairs, the adventures are randomized for each player.
To an extent, that is. The events appear in the order below, but all people have different Codes, different Truth-Tellers, and different Familiar Foes. Note that you must be level 11 and have at least 70 of each stat in order to progress further than this point, else you will see only the following message:
- You're not tough enough to fight up here. You need to be at least level 11, with at least 70 in all of your stats.
Of course you most likely will be level 13 or higher at this point, but the message about "level 11" is a holdover from before NS13. Regardless, this restriction rarely comes into play, except for those doing very fast normal or casual ascensions.
The Heavy and Light Doors
Click on the Light Door, and the four guards will be happy to give you the info you need to get the code. It's different every ascension, though, so it is useless to ask other players what the code is.
One guard is telling the truth, one is lying, another is alternating between lies and truth, and the last is craving human flesh. You have to use their answers to figure out who's telling the truth and who's lying, and what the code is. (The one who craves human flesh only says "Graaaaagh.")
The player Poochy says that the truth-teller is the only one who says "You're full of it." In fact, a simple truth-table analysis of this problem confirms this, and this insight offers the fastest route to solving the problem each time. Sometimes, however, none of the guards say "You're full of it."
If you want to solve it yourself, the best way to figure it out is to list what each of the guards says in a separate text window, or on a piece of paper. Deciphering the Door Code explains how to use logic to figure out the code.
Also, several online door code solvers have been created to solve the door riddle.
One of them (Cisco's) can be found here.
Once you have the code by whichever method, click on the Heavy Door and enter the code. If you're right, the door will open; if not, you'll lose 50 HP.
The Electrical Attack
Equip the huge mirror shard to deflect a burst of energy. If you don't have the shard equipped, you'll lose 50 HP. The shard must be your main weapon; it cannot be wielded in your offhand or third hand. This task does not consume an adventure. If you lose all HP from this, you will be Beaten Up for 4 adventures, instead of the usual 3.
On the Way of the Surprising Fist runs, you do not need a weapon. The normal text is replaced with the line:
- You've never met a beam of energy you couldn't punch, and this one is no exception. You draw back your fist and punch the beam as hard as you can, which turns out to be exactly hard enough to reflect it back down the hallway. You hear a muffled curse and the sound of breaking stone.
On Avatar of Boris runs, nothing special needs to be done. The normal text is replaced with the line:
- You laugh as the beam of energy harmlessly bounces off your powerful chest muscles and shoots back down the hallway. You hear a muffled curse and the sound of breaking stone.
- Boost your Initiative. You may also want to boost your maximum HP (see HP Increasers for skills and items that will boost your HP). This is not always necessary.
- Before going into battle, make sure that you are fully healed.
The Shadow starts out with 400 hp.
Note --- Healing yourself with skills or items is the only way to hurt this opponent. ---
The damage dealt by the shadow is 90-100 + (Max HP/6), rounded up.
Four red pixel potions are enough to win, although healing items from the level 11 and 12 areas that heal similar amounts of HP (such as gauze garters or filthy poultices) also work. Try to raise your hitpoints as high as possible with equipment and potions that boost muscle and health.
It is very difficult to defeat with very low hit points – at 126 hit points, it will take virtually all of your hit points away with each hit.
If you have the Disco Bandit skill Ambidextrous Funkslinging you can dual-use red pixel potions, gauze garters and filthy poultices recovering 160-240 HP per round.
The easiest way to defeat your shadow is to have a high max HP: go into the battle with low HP (ex: 200/600 HP) and use a scented massage oil to recover all HP.
An alternate way to defeat your shadow is to equip the navel ring of navel gazing; doing so will allow you to avoid most of your shadow's attacks and allowing you to use lower-level healing items to defeat it. This only works in softcore or casual ascensions since the ring is a Mr. Store item. The ancient stone head will block attacks and is available in hardcore (provided you have a Baby Sandworm)
As her last line of defense, the Naughty Sorceress will send two of her pets after you. Clicking on the familiar names in the first column will take you to the battle description.
Both familiars are chosen randomly. These two tasks do not use any adventures.
Your familiar's effective weight must be at least 20 pounds in order to beat the enemy. That weight can be reached by buffs and other additions, but it can't be any lower than 20.
If you don't have the right familiar with you at the right weight, you'll get hit for 50 HP and have to repeat the battle. If you don't have a familiar at all, you lose 100 HP. If you are damaged to 0 HP by this, you will be Beaten Up for 4 adventures, instead of the usual 3.
On Avatar of Boris runs, nothing special needs to be done. The regular victory text will be replaced with the line:
- Calling on all the Boris inside you, you emit a mighty bellow, and the sorceress's pet goes running. That takes care of that!
On Zombie Slayer runs, you need at least 10 zombies in your Horde. The regular victory text will be replaced with the line:
- You point at the Sorceress' pet and your horde tramples it. And then it tramples the rest of her pets for good measure.
- It's good to be Master.
On Avatar of Jarlsberg runs, you will instead fight the final boss's companion:
| Clancy -- (edit metadata)
- Item Drops: None
- Meat Drop: None
- Monster Level: 150 • Substat Gain: 37.5 • Moxie for No Hit*: 160
- Monster Defense: 165
- Hit Points: 500
- Initiative: 90
- Elemental Alignment: None
- Physical Resistance: 25%
On Avatar of Sneaky Pete runs, nothing special needs to be done. The regular victory text will be replaced with the line:
- You back up your motorcycle and jump right over the sorceress' pets, like some sort of... Knievel.
This tool can help you in efficiently leveling your familiars for the final battle:
Familiar Arena Chart by Vladjimir
Retrofrog's tool has not been updated for some time, but it is usable for dealing with the tower monsters.
- For a complete list of familiar weight-increasing effects and items, see Familiar Weight. The most common are shown below.
- Familiar weight-increasing skills (Leash of Linguini, Empathy of the Newt, Amphibian Sympathy) increase weight by 5 each.
- For the tower familiars, familiar-specific equipment from The Cake-Shaped Arena give 5 pounds. A box of Familiar Jacks will produce the appropriate familiar equipment. (Just switch familiars before you use it).
- Alternatively, a sugar shield increases weight by 10 when equipped.
- Various Mr. Store familiar equipment (plastic pumpkin bucket, Mayflower bouquet, little box of fireworks, moveable feast) increase weight by 5. The Snow Suit can increase weight by up 20lbs, passing the test by itself if used early enough in the day. A moveable feast can also increase weight by 10 when used.
- Choosing to play aggressively at the Clan VIP Pool Table increases weight by 5.
- Irradiated pet snacks increase weight by 10.
- Green snowcones increase weight by 5.
- Knob Goblin pet-buffing sprays increase weight by 5.
- Love songs of icy revenge increase weight by up to 10.
- Disintegrating spiky collars increase weight by 5.
- Optimist Primal from the Arena increases weight by 5.
- Half-orchid increases weight by 3.
- Beastly paste increases weight by 3, but at the cost of 4 spleen.
- Green candy heart increases weight by 3.
Quest information continues in Defeating The Naughty Sorceress.