The Mayo Clinic

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The Mayo Clinic can be found in Your Workshed after using a portable Mayo Clinic.


The Mayo Clinic The Mayo Clinic

You enter your workshed, and as your eyes adjust to the darkness you survey the various components of your Mayo Clinic.

A coffin-sized glass tank of translucent goo sits in one corner, next to one vending machine labeled "Prescription Mayonnaise Dispensary" and another labeled "Medical Device Rental."

A beam of blue light sweeps across your body from a complicated-looking device on a stainless steel table, and a few seconds later it beeps and says "Current blood mayonnaise concentration: X mayograms per deciliter" in a monotone voice.

Soak in the Mayo Tank (1/day)

You strip down to your underwear, climb the steel ladder on the side of the tank, and slowly lower yourself into the warm, inviting mayonnaise.

You feel stirrings of panic as the sticky semi-liquid fills your mouth and nose, but this particular brand of mayo is infused with powerful anti-anxiety drugs, so you easily let go of your fear and drift off to sleep as your lungs fill with warm, nourishing mayonnaise.

An unspecified period of time later, the mayonnaise drains from the tank and you regain consciousness -- refreshed, rejuvenated, and covered with a thin sheen of delicious, delicious mayonnaise.

HPYou gain X hit points.
Blankoutglob.gifYou acquire an effect: Force of Mayo Be With You
(duration: 20 Adventures)

Items Sold

Item: Price:
— Prescription-Strength Mayo —
Mayo1.gif Mayonex 1,000 Meat
Mayo2.gif Mayodiol 1,000 Meat
Mayo3.gif Mayostat 1,000 Meat
Mayo4.gif Mayozapine 1,000 Meat
Mayo5.gif Mayoflex 1,000 Meat
Mayominder.gif Mayo Minder™ 99 Meat
— Medical Supply Rental (1/day) —
Mayocuff.gif sphygmayomanometer 2,500 Meat
Mayohammer.gif tomayohawk-style reflex hammer 2,500 Meat
Mayolance.gif mayo lance 2,500 Meat
Mayowhip.gif miracle whipOnly 1 left in stock! 10,000 Meat

References

  • A play on the name of the real-life Mayo Clinic, which has nothing to do with the condiment.
  • The URL for soaking in the mayo tank, "shop.php?whichshop=mayoclinic&action=bacta", refers to Star Wars' bacta, a liquid that helps regeneration.

Notes

  • The Mayo Tank will remove negative effects including the Beaten Up effect.
  • If you purchase any item from the Medical Supply Rental section, the entire section vanishes until rollover.
  • The miracle whip restocks on ascension.
  • Prescription-Strength Mayo is only usable on food when the Mayo clinic is installed in the toolshed.
  • Using any Prescription-Strength Mayo increases blood-mayo by 1. Additionally, Mayonex causes food to grant 1 blood-mayo for each adventure it would have given normally (including Got Milk and other modifiers).
  • Using Mayo de Mayo™ mayo increases blood-mayo by 5.
  • Blood-mayo concentration is reset on ascension. Blood mayo concentration is not reset by replacing the Mayo Clinic with another workshed item.
Mayocase.gif Clinical Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise Packets
Mayo1.gif Mayonex Gain blood mayo instead of Adventures
Mayo2.gif Mayodiol Convert 1 Fullness to Drunkenness
Mayo3.gif Mayostat Recover a portion of food
Mayo4.gif Mayozapine Increased stat gains and effect durations
Mayo5.gif Mayoflex Increased adventure yield
Medical Supplies
Mayo Minder™ usable automatically consume mayo
sphygmayomanometer accessory all stats +(X+20)%
(where X is blood mayo concentration)
tomayohawk-style reflex hammer combat item, reusable staggers enemy and deals Sleaze Damage based on blood mayo
mayo lance combat item, reusable yellow ray
(turns of cooldown decrease with blood mayo)
miracle whip 2h weapon (whip) initiative +50%
weapon damage +50
item drops +50%
meat drops +100%
Portable Mayo ClinicForce of Mayo Be With You