The Family Jewels
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting The Family JewelsThis constellation resembles a pair of enormous cut gemstones.
Hit Message(s):
They blind you with light reflected from their many facets. Which is odd, considering they're just line drawings. Ouch! Eek! Eek! Ow! Eek! Oof!
They clank together on your <forehead>. You feel multi- faceted pain. Oof! Eek! Ugh! Ouch! Oof! Eek! (sleaze damage)
They stab you with their pointy ends. It's hardly a pointless attack. Oof! Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Oof! (sleaze damage)
Critical Hit Message:
They completely and utterly stone you, even though you're not driving in your car or playing your guitar. You do not feel so all alone, but you do feel pretty banged-up. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Eek! Argh! Argh! Ow! Ow!
Miss Message(s):
They try to blind you with light reflected from their facets, but fail because they're just line drawings.
They try to clank together on your <forehead>, but you deftly duck and dodge, dude.
They try to stab you with their pointy ends, but it's pointless to try.
Fumble Message:
They try to stone you, even though you're not driving in a car or playing your guitar. But they completely fail to do so. Looks like you're all alone.
  star | You acquire an item: star (29.7% chance)* |
| star | You acquire an item: star (29.7% chance)* |
| star | You acquire an item: star (29.7% chance)* |
Occurs at The Hole in the Sky.
References
- The Family Jewels refer to the testicles, as from the pair of cut gemstones.
- The critical hit and miss messages play on lyrics from Bob Dylan's song "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35", aka "Everybody Must Get Stoned".
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