The Council of Loathing/Disguises Delimit

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When playing the special challenge path of Disguises Delimit, the text from the Council of Loathing refer to your masked adventures.

  • Initial text:
Welcome, Masked Adventurer! Your first order of business should be to visit the Too-- uh, the Masked... you know, I don't actually know if he's participating in our fun Masquerade. Well, anyway, someone lives atop Mt. Noob, in the Big Mountains, and you should go talk to whoever they are.
  • After visiting the Toot Oriole, but before reading King Ralph's Note:
Welcome, Masked Adventurer! It looks like you've got some business to take care of before we put you to work. The Masquerade isn't all fun and games after all, there's still a lot of things that need to be taken care of. Why don't you finish reading your mail, and then we'll talk.
  • After reading King Ralph's note:
  • When no quests are available:
Unfortunately, there are no more masks-- I mean, tasks required of you by the Council at this time. I mean, uh, us five unknown guys.
Return later, when you are more experienced.

Quests

Level 2 - Spooky Forest Quest

  • Initial text:
We require your aid, Masked Adventurer. We need a mosquito larva. Don't ask why, because we won't tell you. It definitely isn't for wild Masquerade party stunts or for making fake mezcal. In any case, the best place to find a mosquito larva is in the Spooky Forest, which is found in the Distant Woods. We'll mark it on your map for you.
  • Subsequent times:
We still need a mosquito larva, Masked Adventurer. Please find us one, in the Spooky Forest.
  • When returning with the mosquito larva:
Thanks for the larva, Masked Adventurer. We'll put this to hilarious use.
Meat.gifYou gain 500 Meat.

Level 3 - Typical Tavern Quest

  • Initial text:
We've received word that the owner of the Typical Tavern, or at least someone who is standing behind the bar at the Typical Tavern, in the Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.

Level 4 - Boss Bat Quest

  • Initial text:
The Council requires another task of you, Masked Adventurer. You must slay the Bo-- uh, the Bonerdagon! Yes, already, ha ha! He can be found in the deepest part of the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains. Slay him, and return to us with proof of your conquest!
  • Subsequent times:
You have not yet slain the Bonerdagon. He can be found in the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains.
  • After defeating the Boss Bat:
You have slain the Bonerdagon! Good job taking on such a difficult boss so early, ha ha!

Level 5 - The King of Cobb's Knob Quest

  • Initial text:
We've gotten word, Adventurer, that the Knob... Guys, who normally keep to themselves over at Cobb's Knob, are planning a major military action against Seaside Town.
We need for you to go deep into the Knob, and nip this problem in the bud, so to speak, by neutralizing the ancient mummy Ed the Undying.
Our spies have determined that there is a secret entrance that will allow you to access the inside of the Knob. They recovered this map, but nobody knows how to read it.
You'll need to figure out how to decrypt the symbols on it if you're going to find that entrance and crash their party.
  • After accessing the inside of the Knob:
We still need you to neutralize Ed the Undying, Adventurer! You know, the one in Cobb's Knob.
  • After defeating the Goblin King:
Thank you for slaying Ed the Undying, Adventurer! That'll teach him to try and spoil our party!

Level 6 - Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest

  • Initial text:
The Deep Fat Friars in the Distant Woods are having a problem, besides the fact that they're too stodgy and dignified to wear fun masks. One of their experiments has gone awry, and fey creatures have invaded their grove. Please, Masked Adventurer, lend them your assistance!

Level 7 - Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

  • Initial text:
Recently, an aura of extreme, um... Hairyness? has begun to emanate from within the Cyrpt, near the Misspelled Cemetary. We fear that some horrible monster has taken up residence there, and begun to rile up the local... devils and robots and stuff?
Would you be so good as to investigate? This device should help:
Evilometer.gifYou acquire an item: Evilometer
  • Subsequent times:
The Hairyness still emanates from the Cyrpt, Masked Adventurer. See if you can find and destroy the source, and bring us back proof of your conquest.
  • After defeating the Bonerdagon:
Aha! So the Hairyness was coming from this abominable creature, was it? Ha ha, see what I did there? Well, you have our thanks, Masked Adventurer, for your courageous act of undefilement.

Level 8 - Mt. McLargeHuge Quest

  • Initial text:
Masked Adventurer! We've received an urgent letter from the Trapper, requesting our assistance. I don't know if he's doing the whole Masquerade thing or not, but he signed his letter "The Trapper", so probably not. He's been out in the wilderness for a long time, and kinda forgot how to have fun, if you ask me. Anyway, we're all, like, really busy partying right now, so we were hoping you could go out to his place and see what he wants.

He lives at the base of Mt. McLargeHuge, the tallest of the Big Mountains. We'll mark it on your map for you.

  • Subsequent times:
You still have unfinished business with the Trapper, Masked Adventurer.

Level 9 - Orc Chasm Quest

  • Initial text:
Sorry to trouble you with this, Adventurer, but we've gotten a cryptic message from, well, someone wearing a mask. But if I'm being honest, it's probably Black Angus -- he's one of Loathing's minor nobles.

It's usually safe to ignore him, but he sounded pretty agitated, and given the current political climate we can scarcely afford to ignore him.

Could you do us a favor and go to his tower, in the Highlands? The Highlands are just on the other side of the Orc Chasm. We'll mark it on your map.

Umm, I'm not sure how to do this without spoiling the fiction that I don't know who you are because you're wearing a mask, Masked Adventurer. ...Let's just say, I've got a letter here for someone named [NAME], and I'm going to put it on this table and we'll all turn around for a minute, and if the letter is missing afterwards we'll all be too busy partying to notice.

Guildapp.gifYou acquire an item: strange leaflet
  • Subsequent times:
The Masked Guy who is presumably the Highland Lord, Black Angus, still needs your help, Masked Adventurer.
  • After completing the quest:

Level 10 - Giant Trash Quest

  • Initial text:

"Something is amiss, Adventurer. The Nearby Plains are filling up with giant piles of garbage, and despite our best efforts, it keeps falling from the sky faster than we can clean it up. A big celebration like we've got going on here always produces a ton of litter and trash, but usually not quite like this. We need you to figure out where it's coming from, and put a stop to it. Can't have a load of garbage stinking up the place during the festivities!

  • Subsequent times:
Please try to figure out where this garbage is coming from, Masked Adventurer! Perhaps you can find a clue by poking around the Nearby Plains.
  • After completing the quest:
We're not sure what you did, Masked Adventurer, but the garbage finally stopped falling. Thanks a lot! Now we'll only have to deal with, like, glitter and confetti and broken strings of beads and so on.

Oh, by the way -- we found this in the garbage when we were cleaning up, and thought you might have some use for it. It'll go great with your costume!

Bottlecap.gifYou acquire an item: giant discarded bottlecap

or

Giantfork.gifYou acquire an item: giant discarded plastic fork

or

Tornglove.gifYou acquire an item: giant discarded torn-up glove

Level 11 - Quest for the Holy MacGuffin

  • Initial text:

Ah, Masked Adventurer, excellent timing. We've just received a message from the Distant Lands -- it seems that your father, the renowned archaeologist, has gone missing. Apparently, his life's work was to track down an ancient relic known only as the Holy MacGuffin. He left behind his diary, with instructions that it was to be delivered to you -- whoever you are -- but he didn't leave any funds to pay for shipping. So, you'll have to go pick it up yourself.

You can travel there from the Travel Agency at The Shore, but there's a slight hitch -- the area you're going to requires a passport for entry, and our passport offices are temporarily closed due to a tiny photograph shortage. I don't think they'd be willing to issue you one while you're wearing that mask anyway. You'll need to acquire some forged identification documents from the Black Market instead, but we're not entirely sure where the Black Market actually is. It's probably near the Black Forest, though, and we'll mark that on your mask for you. I mean map.

Once you've retrieved your father's diary, we request that you use his notes to track down the Holy MacGuffin for us, as an item of such power will obviously be of great help to us in our fight against the Nau-- er... the various evils that plague our land. Good luck!

  • Subsequent times:
Any luck getting your father's diary and recovering the Holy MacGuffin? It's a pretty important whatchamacallit, so we'd appreciate it if you'd get on that right away.
  • After completing the quest:

Wow! You actually brought back the Holy MacGuffin, Masked Adventurer? That's pretty darn impressive -- well done! Now we can pack it in an unlabelled wooden crate and stash it in a secret warehouse full of similar crates somewhere where it's likely that no one will ever see it again. Thanks for your help! And speaking of help, help yourself to some confetti! We have crates and crates of the stuff.

Confetti.gifYou acquire an item: handful of confetti

Level 12 - Mysterious Island Quest

  • Initial text:
Adventurer, we have heard rumors that trouble is brewing on the Mysterious Island of Mystery. The... guys in masks, are agitating for war. With the other guys in masks. I bet someone accidentally said the wrong thing to the wrong person because they didn't realize who they were talking to. You know how it goes.
We'd like you to go over there and make sure that war starts. We don't care how it starts and we don't care who wins, so there's basically no way for you to screw this up, so long as you don't accidentally negotiate a peace accord. Try not to do that.
  • Subsequent times:
Hey, have you managed to start the war on the Mysterious Island yet? If you can't get them sufficiently worked up, try assassinating someone wearing a Franz Ferdinand mask. That would be pretty funny!
  • After starting the war:
Excellent work, adventurer! You've finally managed to get those idiots to fight each other. Now you've got to make sure the battle ends before the tourist season. I mean, would you rather go visit the "beautiful tropical island" or the "body-strewn war zone?"
Well, there's no accounting for taste. We happen to believe most people would prefer the beautiful tropical island. Get out there and rack up some casualties so we can get this over with, will you?
If you're not making enough progress, you should try helping some of the other denizens of the island. Unlike every other fantasy Kingdom in the world, if you're stuck you should visit every location and talk to everyone.
  • After defeating the hippies:
Good job, Masked Adventurer! You finally rid the island of those smelly hippies. The tourist trade is going to boom without them stinking up the place!
Now, if only there were something we could do about the frat boys. Oh well, at least they make good margaritas.
Here you go -- you're now a decorated war hero. Don't let it go to your head.
SomethingYou acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]
  • After defeating the frat boys:
Great work, Masked Adventurer! You finally rid the island of those smug bastard frat boys. The tourist trade is going to boom now that travelers don't have to worry about being forced to do beer bongs while being paddled. Now they can choose to be paddled without doing a beer bong or vice versa!
Now if only there were something we could do about the hippies. Oh well, at least they're mostly non-violent. As long as you don't get close enough to smell them, they're okay.
Here you go -- you're now a decorated war hero. Don't let it go to your head.
SomethingYou acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]
  • After defeating both the hippies and the frat boys:

Level 13 - Naughty Sorceress Quest

  • Initial text:
Masked Adventurer! We've recently received word that the Nau-- (What mask is she wearing? ...What, really? Well okay...) the Boss Bat is holding some sort of contest. We don't know what it means, but we know it doesn't mean anything good, and as such, we have decided that it is time for you to embark upon your final quest. Seek out and destroy the Boss Bat, who has plagued these lands for so long, and rescue King... Somebody, whom she has imprismed.
Go forth to her Lair, east of the Nearby Plains! Beat her down!
  • Subsequent times:
Be strong, Masked Adventurer! You must defeat the Boss Bat! You'll find her Lair just east of the Nearby Plains.
  • After completing the quest, but before freeing the king:
"Congratulations, Masked Adventurer! You have defeated the Boss Bat and brought peace to the land again. Say, did you know she was your mother? And not really a bat?
Nah, just kidding. Anyway, I notice you left the king imprismed up there. It would be horrible if you left him there, because then the monsters would continue to fight adventurers and we would continue to have absolute power throughout the land. Yup, that sure would be a drag.
I guess you should probably go free him, though. But, y'know, take your time. If there's anything really important you have to do first, like brushing your teeth or cleaning your campsite, just go ahead and do that.
Seriously, no rush."