The Big Book of Pirate Insults
From TheKolWiki
The Big Book of Pirate Insults
This book claims to contain 1,001 insults, taunts, and put-downs for any occasion... well, any occasion involving pirates, anyway. It's got everything from the old classics ("You fight like a dairy farmer!") to the newest snaps ("Yo captain's so fat, when they load his booty on the ship, there's no room left for any treasure!"). Guaranteed to put the saltiest bilge-rats and scallywags in their place!
Type: combat item
Selling Price: 250 Meat.
( In-game plural: Big Books of Pirate Insults) Obtained From
- Stores
- Barrrtleby's Barrrgain Bookstore (500 Meat)
When Used
- Successfully on a pirate:
 The Big Book of Pirate Insults
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| You flip open the Big Book of Pirate Insults and pick one at random.
"<random insult>"
The pirate stammers for a moment, finally blurting out "<inappropriate comeback>" He turns red with embarrassment.
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- Unsuccessfully on a pirate:
| The Big Book of Pirate Insults
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| You flip open the Big Book of Pirate Insults and pick one at random.
"<random insult>"
The pirate sneers at you and replies "<appropriate comeback>"
Dang, man. That hurts.
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When attempting a second use of the book in the same combat adventure:
| The Big Book of Pirate Insults
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| You've already used one of those insults this fight. A second one just wouldn't be as... insulting.
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- Against enemies outside the Pirate's Cove:
| The Big Book of Pirate Insults
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| You flip open the Big Book of Pirate Insults and pick one at random.
"<random insult>"
Your opponent blinks at you, and then makes an extra-spirited attempt to smash your face in.
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Notes
- Each time the Big Book of Pirate Insults is used in combat:
- 75% of the time, the attack fails (and you're embarrassed), and the pirate's comeback will be available for use in the Arrr You Man Enough? adventure.
- 25% of the time, the attack succeeds against a pirate, and it delevels the pirate by 10.
- If the attack is against a non-pirate, it will not affect monster level, but your opponent will automatically hit on the next turn.
- The Ambidextrous Funkslinging skill does not give you a second chance at insulting your opponent.
- This item has no pirate effect against the Scary pirate and results in the extra-spirited attempt to smash your face in.
References
- The idea of pirate insults (and the "old classic" explicitly mentioned) stems from the "insult swordfighting" sequence from the adventure game The Secret of Monkey Island.
- The example of a modern insult is a reference to "Yo Mama" lines
Collection
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