The Astronomer
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting The AstronomerAccording to the Astronomers of the Times of Old, this constellation most closely resembles an astronomer. This is probably because the Astronomers of the Times of Old occasionally liked to switch from childish double-entendre to inexplicable self-reference.
Hit Message(s):
He headbutts you with his pointy little head. No, his *other* pointy little head. Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Ow! Argh!
He shouts at you through the megaphone he's carrying. Ouch! Ow! Ooh! Oof! Oof! Ouch! Eek!
He whips out a sextant and stabs you in the <leg> with it. Huh huh... sextant. Argh! Oof! Oof! Oof! Ooh! Ow! Oof!
Critical Hit Message:
He focuses starlight through his telescope, making a small burning dot appear on your forehead. It's certainly not the same old thing as yesterday, and it quickly leads to your head being engulfed in flames. Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Eek! Oof! Eek! (hot damage)
Miss Message(s):
He tries to headbutt you, but you spin around and butthead him.
He tries to shout at you through his megaphone, but you point out that it's probably a telescope.
He tries to poke you with a sextant, but you're not having any of that funny business.
Fumble Message:
He focuses sunlight through his telescope, trying to burn you to cinders. Unfortunately for him, there's a little black dot on the sun today, which makes his attack fizzle. He should have known - it's been there since yesterday.
Occurs at The Hole in the Sky.
References
- The critical hit and miss messages borrow lyrics from the song "King of Pain" by The Police: "There's a little black spot on the sun today / It's the same old thing as yesterday."
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