Teddy Borg

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This page is in need of content Mr. Store equipment messages.

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required Formula for absorbption frequency and experience loss.

• Regular message(s)

  <name> leaps in front of you and bears the brunt of your foe's attack. A bunch of stuffing gets knocked out of it.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

  ?

• With wax lips equipped:

  ?

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

  ?

Arena Messages

• When entered in an Obstacle Course:

  <name> has a tough time with the mud pits in the obstacle course, because he keeps soaking up the mud instead of running through it.

Notes

• Every time the teddy borg blocks an attack it absorbs the full damage of the attack, and loses some experience. At higher weights, the teddy borg can absorb several attacks before losing a pound.

References

• "We are Teddy Borg"and "awwwssimilation" refer to the Borg from Star Trek, who are known for saying "We are The Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
• The absorbing damage aspect comes from the Super Nintendo game EarthBound, in which you can buy teddy bears at various shops to act as proxy party members, absorbing enemies' attacks during battle. After taking enough damage, these bears tend to "turn into a pile of fluff" and no longer act as possible targets.