Talk to Sven Golly

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

On Initial Visit: Hey, you look smarter than the average groupie. Maybe you can help me out, respectfully. I'm the new manager for the Infernal Rackets, and they're supposed to be on stage right now, but they won't go on. Respectfully, they're complaining that the venue isn't meeting the requirements of their rider, and they won't perform until they're met!

Even worse, they won't let me look at the rider, and they won't tell me exactly what they're missing, and they won't even tell me which of them is which. Think you can help? Respectfully?


Okay, here's all I've been able to find out so far.

1. All four band members are craving something. One wants something white, one wants something soft, one wants something sweet, one wants something boozy.

2. All four band members hate something another member is craving: so one hates white things, one hates soft things, one hates sweet things, and one hates boozy things.

3. The band members' names are Bognort, Stinkface, Flargwurm, and Jim.

4. One is the bassist, one is the guitarist, one is the drummer, one is the singer.

You should probably go talk to the some of the band's roadies, hangers-on, groupies, band-aids, and sluts. Respectfully.

or, if you've learned something...

Here's what you've learned from the band's entourage:

1. Bognort isn't the drummer, and craves something white.

2. Flargwurm isn't the one who craves booze.

3. Stinkface, the vocalist, isn't the one craving something soft.

4. The bassist craves sweets, and the guitarist hates soft things.

5. Jim isn't the guitarist, and the drummer isn't the one who hates soft things.

6. Flargwurm hates the color white, and the drummer hates booze.

Give (bandmember) the {item}

When completing the quest:

"Wow, thanks!" Sven says, respectfully. "You really pulled my ass out of the fire. Here, take this reward, respectfully."

Azunicorn.gifYou acquire an item: Azazel's unicorn

And thereafter

Respectfully, I think we've outgrown this business relationship, both of us. I have a band to manage, and you have to do -- er, whatever it is you people do. I want to say it's something with electrolytes? Pickle clocks? Perhaps pajamas? Anyway. You don't have what it takes for rock 'n' roll, kid, so you'd best move on. Respectfully.


  • Found in Hey Deze Arena.
  • Unlike almost every other puzzle in the game, this one does not change with each ascension. The answer is always the same (see below).
  • Stinkface is the vocalist (clue 3). Neither Bognort (clue 1) nor Flargwurm (clue 6) are the drummer, so Jim is. Flargwurm is not the guitarist (clue 4 and 6) so he is the bassist and Bognort the guitarist. The bassist craves sweets (clue 4), but does not hate sweets (intro), booze (clue 6), or soft things (4), so he hates white things. The vocalist does not hate booze (clue 6) or soft things (4), so he hates sweets. Bognort craves a white thing (1), Flargwurm craves a sweet thing (prev.). Stinkface does not crave a soft thing (clue 3), so he craves a boozy thing, and Jim craves a soft thing. In recap:
    • Bognort, guitarist, craves white and hates soft
    • Stinkface, vocalist, craves boozy and hates sweet
    • Flargwurm, bassist, craves sweet and hates white
    • Jim, drummer craves soft and hates booze
  • The six items each share two of the four possible characteristics: the teddy bear is soft and boozy, the gin-soaked paper is white and boozy, the cherry is sweet and boozy, the sponge cake sweet and soft, the pillow soft and white, and marshmallow sweet and white.
  • Thus you can give:
Band Member Quest Item
✓ white ✗ soft
giant marshmallow or gin-soaked blotter paper
✓ boozy ✗ sweet
beer-scented teddy bear
✓ sweet ✗ white
booze-soaked cherry or sponge cake
✓ soft ✗ boozy
comfy pillow
  • There is no requirement that you give four unique objects to Sven for the band.


Bognort's responses:

  • You toss the teddy bear at Bognort, but he leaps backward. "Woah, man, that's one soft teddy bear. There's nothing about that thing I like. Sven, I can't work under these conditions, man! Help me out here, okay?" Sven quickly steps in and respectfully tosses the bear in the trash.
  • You offer Bognort the cherry, but he turns up his nose. "I don't, like, hate that thing, man, but it's not thrilling my soul either, you know? And I don't even have a soul, so I'm doubly underwhelmed. Try again, man." Sven grabs the cherry and respectfully swallows it.
  • You toss Bognort the pillow. It goes *plumpf* as it hits him, and he bats it away in horror. "What the -- I mean, it's nice and white, I'll grant you that, but look how freakin' SOFT this thing is!" he shrieks. "Get it away from me, man! What's your freakin' problem?" Sven steps up, grabs the pillow, and tosses it out the window.
  • You hand the marshmallow to Bognort. He turns it over in his talons carefully, poking and prodding it. "All right," he says, "It's got some give to it, but it's not too soft, and it's definitely white." He scarfs it down, licks his chops, and grins. "I'm ready to unleash some killer guitar riffs. Let's ROCK." (success)
  • You hand Bognort the blotter paper. "Oh, cool!" he says. "Look how white this paper is! And it's not soft at all! Plus, there's booze in it, so bonus!" He scarfs down the paper, then sticks out his forked tongue while making devil horns with one talon. "I'm strappin' on my axe, man! Let's ROOOCK! (success)
  • You offer Bognort the sponge cake, but he steps back and holds up his hands. "That looks way too soft for me, man. There's nothing about it that appeals to me, okay? Just -- just try something else, okay?" Sven quickly devours the sponge cake before it can further offend Bognort.

Stinkface's responses:

  • You toss the teddy bear to Stinkface. He catches it, turns it over cautiously, then buries his face in it. "This is awesome, dude!" he says, muffled by the bear. "It's got all the booze I crave, and no stupid sweet taste to mess it up. Good job, dude. I'm ready to rock the mic!" (success)
  • You toss the cherry at Stinkface, but he bats it away. "Look, dude," he says, "I'm trying to be cool about this, but I hate sweet things, and here you're tempting me with booze, but it's got sugar in it! What the Hey Deze is your problem, dude?" Sven grabs the cherry and swallows it in an ill-advised (but respectful) effort to restore order.
  • You toss the pillow to Stinkface. He turns it over in his talons, then tosses it to a waiting groupie. "Boring, dude," he says. "I'm as apathetic about that pillow as I am about performing tonight."
  • You toss the marshmallow toward Stinkface. He regards it with disdain. "Sven, dude, where did you find this guy?" he asks. "I mean, there's nothing about this marshmallow that I like, and it's freakin' made out of sugar. What kind of operation are you running here, dude?" Sven grabs the marshmallow and tosses it into the trash.
  • You hand Stinkface the blotter paper. He examines it carefully, and takes a cautious lick of it. "Aw, dude, this is rad!" he says. He devours the paper. "I just love gin, dude -- it's all booze, no sweet. Really gets my throat ready to sing. Nice work, dude." (success)
  • You toss the sponge cake toward Stinkface, but he leaps backward. "Ugh, dude, that thing's full of sugar," he says. "Too sweet for my boiling acidic blood, dude." Sven grabs the sponge cake and tosses it to one of the groupies backstage.

Flargwurm's responses:

  • You toss the teddy bear to Flargwurm. He examines it carefully, then tosses it to a waiting gropuie. "Not my thing, bro," he says. "What else you got?"
  • You hand Flargwurm the cherry. He spears it on one of his talons and licks it with his forked tongue. "Aw, nice, bro!" he says. "I like the color, because it's not white, and I like how sweet it is! It's time to lay down some killer bass, bro!" (success)
  • You toss the pillow at Flargwurm, but he holds up his talons and hisses. "Bro, you're really testing my patience here," he says. "There's nothing about that thing I like, and something about it I hate, okay? Try something else, bro." Sven gets the pillow out of Flargwurm's sight before Flargwurm has a temper tantrum.
  • You hold out the marshmallow, but Flargwurm backs away. "Woah, bro," he says, "not cool, bro. I told you backstage I don't want that thing! Sven, do something, bro!" Sven steps up and eats the marshmallow before it can further offend anyone.
  • You toss Flargwurm the blotter paper, but he bats it away. "C'mon, bro, work with me, okay?" he says. "There's nothing I like about that thing, and I hate the color it is! Sven, bro, where did you find this guy?" Sven respectfully grabs the paper and shreds it.
  • You toss the sponge cake to Flargwurm. He catches it in his mouth and devours it in one bite. "Sweet, bro," he says. "That was totally sweet, and not too white, just like I like my women. I can feel the sugar high comin', bro! I'm ready to shred some bass!"(success)

Jim's responses:

  • You toss the bear to Jim. He squeezes it and smiles. Then he catches a whiff of the beer scent and howls, throwing it to the floor. He curls up into the fetal position and whimpers. Sven grabs the bear and hands it to a passing groupie.
  • You show Jim the booze-soaked cherry. He pokes it and frowns, then smells it and grimaces. He turns his back to you and stomps one of his cloven hooves. Sven takes the cherry to the men's room to flush it.
  • You toss the pillow to Jim. He buries his head in it (spearing it with a horn) and sighs happily. Then he holds up his drumsticks and clicks them together, shouting "1-2-3-4!" (success)
  • Jim's eyes light up (or, at least they glow a little brighter red) when he sees the marshmallow, but after he tries to squeeze it, he frowns and tosses it back to you. Sven eats the marshmallow before it can further traumatize Jim.
  • As soon as Jim catches a whiff of the blotter paper, he shakes his head and stomps off, throwing himself down on one of the couches backstage. Sven tosses the paper to a passing roadie.
  • You toss Jim the sponge cake. You're expecting him to eat it, but he just squishes it between his hands, smiling blissfully. Then he bangs his drumsticks together and shouts "1-2-3-4!" (success)

Submitting the form without selecting the band member and/or item to give:

  • You've got to pick something and somebody to give.