Swiss hen

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Hammockbrogre.gif This content has been retired and is no longer available in game.

Swiss hen
Monster ID 641
Locations A Sinister Dodecahedron
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts unknown
oversized fish scaler
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Swiss hen You're fighting a Swiss hen

This robot chicken looks innocent enough, until it reveals the terrifying collection of armaments it keeps folded underneath its wings -- vibro-knives, laser blades, particle cannons of varying sorts... even a fish scaler, although that one probably doesn't see much use.

Hit Message(s):

It whips out a flamethrower and cooks you, Soviet Russia-style. Argh! Ooh! Ow!

It whips out a particle cannon. The beam does whatever a particle can, including bisecting your <kidney>. Argh! Eek! Eek!

It whips out a straight razor and slices your <bung>. I don't know if a gay razor would have hurt less, honestly. Ooh! Ouch! Eek!

It folds out a serrated knife and carves you like a turkey. Irony! Oof! Eek! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

With a series of clicks and servo-whines, it unfolds a laser light which projects a dot onto your forehead. It's annoying, but not painful - but then you realize the dot is just the laser sights for a really big, nasty gun. Oof! Argh! Oof! Argh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It whips out a flamethrower and tries to cook your goose, but you don't have a goose.

It whips out a particle cannon, but the beam misses you. What's it like? It's not important.

It whips out a straight razor to slice you, but only succeeds in giving you a shave.

It folds out a serrated knife, but forgets to lock the blade, so it closes without cutting you.

Fumble Message:

It rifles through its inventory of deadly weaponry, finally unfolding -- a pair of tweezers? What the heck? The hen looks embarrassed, and puts the tweezers back wherever they came from. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Fishscaler.gifYou acquire an item: oversized fish scaler (?% chance)*

Occurred at A Sinister Dodecahedron.


  • The "you don't have a goose" message occurs even when you have a RoboGoose as your current familiar.


  • Both the hit and miss particle cannon messages refer to the song Particle Man by They Might Be Giants.
  • The monster, like the others in this location, comes from "The Twelve Days of Christmas" - in this case, it combines the "French hen" with a Swiss Army knife.
  • In addition to being a joke based on the term "straight razor," the term "gay razor" echoes the title and premise of the 1981 Zorro spoof film Zorro, the Gay Blade.
  • Comedian Yakov Smirnoff is infamous for jokes such as, "In USA, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches YOU!" In this instance the soviet Russia method would be being cooked by the chicken, rather than the other way around.
  • The term "robot chicken" may be a reference to the television show of the same name.