Sweet Nutcracker

From TheKolWiki

• Regular Messages:

  <name> tries to crack your opponent like a nut, but misses.

  <name> bites him with a resounding "clop," doing X damage

  <name> performs a passable rendition of the "Dance of the GravyPlum Fairies."

  Aspect of the GravyPlum Fairy

  You acquire an effect: Aspect of the GravyPlum Fairy (duration: X Adventures)

  <name> hops around and kicks its little wooden legs in a decent attempt at "The Russian Dance."

  Rushin' Hands

  You acquire an effect: Rushin' Hands (duration: X Adventures)

  <name> simultaneously ululates and gyrates as it goes through the motions of "The Arabian Dance."

  Arabian Knighthood

  You acquire an effect: Arabian Knighthood (duration: X Adventures)

  <name> does its best to bow to you before dancing an ungainly rendition of "The Chinese Dance."

  Oriental Mysticism

  You acquire an effect: Oriental Mysticism (duration: X Adventures)

  <name> skips stiffly around in what appears to be "The Dance of the Reed Pipes."

  Reedy Pipes

  You acquire an effect: Reedy Pipes (duration: X Adventures)

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

  <name> somehow winks one painted eye underneath the Tam O'Shanter.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

  <name> does the "Dance of the Phat Loot" around the maypole.

• With wax lips equipped:

  <name> makes muffled "clop" noises underneath the wax lips.

Arena Messages

• When entered in an Obstacle Course:

  Anything without knees has a tough time in the obstacle course, and <name>, sadly, lacks knees.

Notes

• This familiar will attack every round of combat.
  • Damage ranges from X/2+1 to X+7, where X is the weight of the familiar.
  • This familiar will hit successfully 40 + 10*(ceiling(X/5))%. This means between 1-5 pounds, the familiar hits 50% of the time. Between 16-20 pounds, the familiar hits 80% of the time, and appears to not miss at 26 pounds and above.
• The buff duration is equal to its weight divided by three, rounded up.
• The Nutcracker can buff you against the Naughty Sorceress, any round.
• The buffs are cast on the first round of combat.

References

• The name of this familiar is a play on The Nutcracker Suite, a condensed version of The Nutcracker, a lengthy ballet composed by Tchaikovsky.
• Each buff message mentions a dance - "Dance of the GravyPlum Fairies", "The Russian Dance", "The Arabian Dance", and "The Dance of the Reed Pipes", all of which are segments from The Nutcracker and/or The Nutcracker Suite. The "Dance of the GravyPlum Fairies" is a gravy-fairyation of the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy".