Stumped (Arrrbor Day)

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This page is in need of content How many saplings will get you the special items?

Stumped

You walk into the Arrrboretum and eagerly search for the saplings you planted last year. You can't wait to walk through the shade you helped create, breathing the air that's been scrubbed clean by all those healthy, growing trees. You really feel like you're a part of something bigger than yourself; you're creating a better world for all the future generations of adventurers to come.

All those happy thoughts vanish like a hippy on laundry day as you get closer to the patch where you planted your trees last year. Instead of sturdy saplings happily growing and photosynthesizing, there's nothing but sawdust and ashes as far as the eye can see. "What the Hey Deze happened here?" you ask the sappy pirate, who is busily writing a sappy love poem in the ashes.

"Well," he says, "We had to cut down the trees to build more ships."

"Right," you say, "but where did all this ash come from?"

"Well, we had to burn a lot of the trees to fuel our steam-powered chainsaws. And after we cut everything down, we had to have a bonfire to celebrate."

You can't even think of a reply to that, and I certainly can't think of one either, so you resolve to try to make the best of the situation.

• If you previously didn't plant any saplings or only planted one:

You sift through the ashes and sawdust, but you don't find anything interesting. Ah well.

• If you planted between 2 and Y saplings previously:

You sift through the ashes and sawdust, hoping to find something that will make the time you spent here worthwhile. I mean, you couldn't possibly have just wasted all those adventures, right? Surely the Powers That Be would not be so cruel!

Just as you've almost decided that, yes, the Powers That Be are total bastards, you find an un-charred tree bit. See, it wasn't a total loss after all!

If pine saplings were planted:

handful of Crotchety Pine needles

You acquire an item: handful of Crotchety Pine needles

If willow saplings were planted:

handful of Laughing Willow bark

You acquire an item: handful of Laughing Willow bark

If maple saplings were planted:

lump of Saccharine Maple sap

You acquire an item: lump of Saccharine Maple sap

• If you planted at least Y saplings previously:

You can't find anything worth salvaging in the ashes and sawdust, and your vision starts to cloud with rage as you think of the time you wasted in the Arrrboretum. Fortunately, before your blood reaches a rolling boil, the sappy pirate taps you on the shoulder and clears his throat.

"Arrrhem," he says. "Me and the other pirates just wanted ye to know how grateful we arrrre for all the harrrd work ye put in last Arrrbor Day," he says. "I know we don't always show it, but we do appreciate the -- oh, I promised meself I wouldn't cry -- we do appreciate all the effort ye put forth. Since you planted so many saplings, we made ye this. I know it's not much, and ye can always return it if ye don't like it, but we just want ye to know that ye mean the world to us, even if we can't always find the words to say so."

You take the gift he offers you, choking down a lump in your throat. You're pretty sure the lump is actually your gag reflex, inflamed by the sappiest speech you've ever heard.

If willow saplings were planted:

willowy bonnet

You acquire an item: willowy bonnet

If pine saplings were planted:

crotchety pants

You acquire an item: crotchety pants

If maple saplings were planted:

Saccharine Maple pendant

You acquire an item: Saccharine Maple pendant

Occurs on Arrrbor Day at The Arrrboretum, if you have previously planted saplings.

Notes

• Y is currently unknown, but is no lower than 89 and no higher than 100
• One cannot adventure in the Arrrboretum to plant saplings while falling-down drunk; normal Drunken Stupor adventures will result.