Still Better Than Pistachio

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Still Better Than Pistachio
Still Better Than Pistachio

You walk into the next room and see it's set up as some kind of gourmet ice-cream store. There's a counter with steaming-hot slabs of rock upon which a demon is mixing giant scoops of ice-cream (which don't seem to be melting. It must be magic ice cream, or perhaps it's mixed with phlebotinum or unobtainium to keep it solid). He spots you and addresses you. "Hello, and welcome to the Brim Stone Creamery!" he says. "We specialize in flavors of ice cream that no one in their right mind would ever want to eat! Would you care to try a flaming-sulfur cone with bat guano mix-ins?"

"Uh, no thanks," you say, but he blocks your way and waves his ice-cream scoop threateningly.

"I'm sorry, but if you want to continue, I must insist you try it. You're the first customer we've had in weeks."

Pwn the Cone!

You hold your nose, think of ice cubes, and bite into the ice cream. Your tongue retreats to the back of your throat and your sinuses fill up with pain.

HPYou lose X hit points. (stench damage)
HPYou lose X hit points. (hot damage)
  • If you get beaten up
    Halfway through the cone, you find your airway blocked by some weird, semi-solid substance. Oh... that's the melted remains of what used to be your teeth. You toss the cone on the floor, unable to continue.
  • If you pass
    You manage to choke down the rest of the cone without choking or upchucking, and the demon lets you pass. You decline to put any Meat in his tip jar, though -- that'll show him!

Occurs at Fernswarthy's Basement.


  • This adventure is a reference to Cold Stone Creamery, a chain of ice cream stores which uses refrigerated stone slabs upon which to prepare its ice cream, and is also noted for having a large (and sometimes questionable) menu.
  • Phlebotinum is slang for any special plot device that Buffy the Vampire Slayer writers would come up with to move a story along.
  • See Wikipedia's article on Unobtainium.
  • You can also read more about both Phlebotinum and Unobtainium on TV Tropes.
Singled Out
Peace, Bra!
Still Better Than Pistachio
Unholy Writes
The Unthawed
Tests Cold and Sleaze Tests Sleaze and Stench Tests Stench and Hot Tests Hot and Spooky Tests Spooky and Cold
Use Coldform Use Sleazeform Use Stenchform Use Hotform Use Spookyform