You're fighting Bathes In Giant Spiders
The wind whispers through the trees, its endless, mindless susurration a backdrop to your silent wandering. It's so constant and invasive that it seems like it's whispering directly into your ear. "Tuuuurn arrrroooound," it seems to say. Wait, what? You spin around, and not more than a nose-length away from you is the spookiest bugbear you've ever seen.
She raises one obsidian claw, arches an eyebrow over an empty eye socket, and whispers, "Hello."
Critical Hit Message:
The bugbear grins, then grins with his second set of teeth. Spooky. Eek! Oof! Eek! (spooky damage)
The bugbear doesn't seem all that spooky, until you realize it's not casting a shadow. Argh! Ooh! Eek! (spooky damage)
The bugbear shrieks a blood-curdling shriek. Oof! Ooh! Ow! (spooky damage)
The bugbear grips you with blackened talons and whispers horrible secrets in your ear. Eek! Argh! Ugh! (spooky damage)
A tentacle comes out of one of her eye sockets and twines around your neck. Argh! Oof! Oof! (spooky damage)
She gazes through you with her empty eye sockets. Ow! Oof! Ouch! (spooky damage)
She pulls off her head, recites a Shakespearean quotation, and puts it back on. Oof! Eek! Ooh! (spooky damage)
She releases a horde of spiders that walk all over you with their spiny little legs Oof! Ugh! Ouch! (spooky damage)
She holds up a claw and splits her own tongue down the middle, laughing the whole time. Ow! Ugh! Oof! (spooky damage)
She raises her arms and chants in ancient Bugbearian. Skeletal animals claw their way out of the forest floor and limp their way towards you. You black out from fear before any of them actually get to you. Ugh! Ooh! Oof! Ow! Ow! (spooky damage)
She tries to pull off her face, but loses the face-off.
A tentacle comes out of one of her eye sockets, but she just uses it to groom her fur.
She releases a horde of spiders at you, but you deftly walk through the spiderwebs.
She tries to gaze through you, but you gaze a gazely stare right back.
She pulls off her head and does a hilarious ventriloquist show with it.
She holds up a claw as if to say, "wait for it..." you wait.
She tries for a spooky, limbless, shambling walk, but trips over her feet and falls down. You both have a hearty laugh before the fight resumes. (FUMBLE!)
You notice the bugbear's feet are floating several inches above the ground. Spooky, man. (spooky damage)
The bugbear gazes through you with its dead, empty eyes, smiling all the while. (spooky damage)
The bugbear grins and laughs a soul-killing, evil, guttural laugh. (spooky damage)
The bugbear grips you with blackened talons and whispers horrible secrets in your ear. (spooky damage)
The bugbear shrieks a blood-curdling shriek. (spooky damage)
The bugbear exhales a bunch of black moths that fly around your head, whispering secrets. (spooky damage)
The bugbear moans like wind whipping through a graveyard. (spooky damage)
The bugbear whistles through its teeth. A rotting hand reaches up from the ground and grabs you, scaring you half out of your skin. (spooky damage)
Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Woods
The eerie vibe in this place penetrates your very soul, and leaves something... unpleasant behind.
- X is equal to the number of elements banished
- Images and intro text are randomly any of the following:
The wind sounds strange in this part of the forest. "Kee-kee-kee," it whispers, "ah-ah-ah. Kee-kee-kee, ah-ah-ah." Then a bugbear in a hockey mask hops out in front of you and tries to decapitate you with a machete.
|You see tracks forming in the mud in front of you, as if they're being made by some invisible force. You follow the tracks at a slight distance, watching them appear in the mud as if by magic. Whatever is making the tracks seems to be walking with a tortured stutter-step, as if its joints were all bending the wrong way. It's probably pretty big, too...
Then a noodly arm wraps itself around your neck, and a voice whispers in your ear: "BOO."
|The wind moans and sobs through the dead trees in this part of the forest. It almost sounds like it's saying something. Specifically, it almost sounds like it's saying your name, and detailing the horrible ways in which you're going to die. The hair on the back of your neck stands up and you shiver . . . and then a bugbear steps out of the shadows and stares at you with huge, empty eyes.
|A pair of vines creep out of the underbrush and wrap around your legs. They whip you off of your feet and drag you through the forest at breakneck speed. You finally manage to rip them off of you and sit for a second, breathing heavily. "Gods, that was awful," you mumble.
"Wasn't it just?" a voice says, right by your ear, and you see a noodly arm reaching around your waist.
|You see a little blond girl in the path ahead of you. "What's the matter, honey? Are you lost?" you ask.
The girl's eyes roll back in her head. "She's heeeeeere," she moans. "She's heeeeere!" The girl falls down in the path and starts convulsing, frothing at the mouth.
"Who's here?" you ask.
A night-black claw taps you on the shoulder. "I'M here," a voice whispers in your ear.
|You see a mirror hanging from a tree. That's a little strange, but it does afford you the opportunity to check your hair and make sure you don't have anything stuck in your teeth. You look yourself over, then give yourself a thumbs-up. "I'm fine," you say.
"FINE?" your reflection says, its voice a twisted parody of your own, "you're not FINE! There's a hideous spooky bugbear behind you!"
You spin around, but there's no one there.
"No, I mean NOW it's behind you!" the voice says, and you feel hot breath on your neck.
| This part of the forest is darker than the rest, and there are red glowing eyes peeking from the underbrush around you. "They're probably rats," you say to yourself, which doesn't help much, "or squirrels. Adorable little squirrels."
A screech owl swoops down to help itself to the rodent feast around you, startling you half out of your skin. Then the spookiest bugbear you've ever seen steps out from behind a tree that was too thin to hide it. She walks toward you, her joints bending backwards, every movement stilted an[sic] unnatural. She spins her head around 360 degrees, then giggles. Yipe.
|You see a peculiar set of tracks on the ground. They look like bugbear prints, but every third step is a sideways sweep that looks like it was made by a tentacle or something. And those big divots look like spider tracks, but only if the spider was huge or someth--oh, man.
A bugbear lumbers toward you, its fur bubbling and cracking as spider legs, tentacles, even human limbs thrust out and then hide beneath the fur.
"What are you?" you ask, but she just raises a claw to her lips and hisses.
|You see a bugbear leaning up against a tree, her back to you, one arm thrown over her face. It sounds like she's crying.
"Uh...everything alright?" you ask, not sure whether you want to get into the bugbear-consoling business.
The sobs get louder, then turn into hysterical laughter. The bugbear turns her head 180 degrees to stare at you, grinning.
|A black cat runs across your path. You spin to avoid it, only to find you're walking under a ladder. You jump backwards and land on a mirror, shattering it. A shard flies off the mirror and spills a shaker of salt that was sitting on a nearby stump. The butterflies in your stomach turn into death's-head moths.
You spin around to run away and find yourself eye-to-eye-socket with a profoundly unsettling bugbear. "Welcome home," she whispers, and you feel your brain start to unhinge.
|You see a grouping of pinecones set up on the side of the path, ten of them, set standing up in a triangle. As you wonder what natural phenomenon could have made that peculiar formation, a severed bugbear's head comes rolling towards the triangle and knocks all of the pinecones over. The head swivels to look at you with empty eye sockets. "Steeee-RIKE!" it shouts, and a claw taps you on the shoulder.
|A bright red ball bounces across the path in front of you, incongruous in this dim and dreary part of the forest. You hear a high-pitched giggle and a little girl in a summer bonnet comes skipping after the ball. Then she turns her face to you, and instead of a little girl, she's a bugbear with empty eye sockets and a too-wide smile full of fangs. "Let's play," she hisses.