Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting Somerset Lopez, Dread MariachiThis is Somerset Lopez, the lord of the Evil Mariachis. What's an Evil Mariachi, you ask? Is there any other kind?
Hit Message(s):
He tries to smash you with his guitar, and you cleverly block with your face. Ugh! Argh!
He sings a heartfelt rendition of "Dos Arbolitos," accompanying himself on the "kick you in the <leg>." Ugh! Eek!
He pulls out a rose and tosses it to you. You instinctively grab it, then realize what that sad, sad song was about. Ouch! Argh!
He sings a sad song in Spanish. You fall to the ground, feeling a sharp pain in your <leg>. Ow! Ugh!
Critical Hit Message:
He summons a full mariachi band to back him up and launches into a painful rendition of "Canta y no llores." It's hard to sing and not cry when your ears are bleeding. Ouch! Ouch! (sleaze damage)
Miss Message(s):
He swings his guitar at you, but misses by at least three chords.
He sings a sad song in Spanish. You sing along, harmonizing beautifully.
He pulls out a rose and tosses it to you. You carefully put it in your mouth, making sure the thorns underneath don't stick into your gums.
He tries to kick you in the cojones, but only ends up hitting the conejos.
Fumble Message:
He rears back to deliver a crushing blow with his guitar, but stumbles and sends the guitar crashing into the ground. What a teenage wasteland that guy is.
 | You gain 30-35 Meat. |
Occurs at The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave as the Accordion Thief nemesis.
Notes
- Once you have defeated Lopez, this adventure will no longer reoccur (becomes a one time adventure).
References
- The dodge text "making sure the thorns underneath don't stick into your gums" is a distorted version of a lyric in the song "The Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer; the singer claims to envy the rose that his lover holds in her teeth, whose thorns are sticking into her gums.
- The name Somerset Lopez originates from an anagram feature on asymmetric.net. El Perezoso, Webmaster = Beware, Somerset Lopez.
- The fumble text is a reference to both "Baba O'Riley", by The Who, and Pete Townshend's famous guitar smashing.
- The successful attack message with the rose and the sad, sad song is a reference to the Poison song "Every Rose Has Its Thorn".
- "Cojones" is a Spanish word for a male body part, and "conejos" is Spanish for "rabbits"
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