Skeletal sommelier

From TheKolWiki

You're fighting a skeletal sommelier

These are the reanimated skeletal remains of one of Lord Spookyraven's wine stewards. Historians disagree on why he had so many wine stewards, and theorize that perhaps they were simply additional mistresses disguised as wine stewards.

At this point, though, any academic curiosity you might have is overshadowed by your desire not to get hit over the head with a wine bottle. You spring into action.

Hit Message(s):

dusty bottle of Muscat

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Muscat (19.3% chance)*

dusty bottle of Zinfandel

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Zinfandel (21.1% chance)*

dusty bottle of Port

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Port (19.7% chance)*

dusty bottle of Merlot

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Merlot (20.6% chance)*

dusty bottle of Pinot Noir

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Pinot Noir (19.3% chance)*

dusty bottle of Marsala

You acquire an item: dusty bottle of Marsala (20.7% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

disintegrating cork

You acquire an item: disintegrating cork (100% chance)*

You gain 80-120 Meat.

Occurs at Wine Racks.

Notes

• Despite the running joke in the Kingdom of various lines of text forcibly refusing to end in a preposition (to the point of immediately rephrasing them), one of the miss messages does just that (namely, "Would you like some cheese with your wine, that you just missed me with?"). Though of course since this is a sentence shouted by a character in combat, perhaps it can be excused.

References

• The hit message about cheese refers to the classic insult, "Would you like some cheese to go with that *whine*?"
• One of the hit messages refers to the song "Red Red Wine."
• The miss message about a suitable vintage for hand-to-hand combat is a reference to Monty Python's "Australian Table Wines" sketch. The part about him becoming embarrassed might be a further reference to another Monty Python sketch, "Are You Embarrassed Easily?"
• The hit message about blood flowing like wine is a reference to a scene in Charles Dickens's A Tale of Two Cities, wherein wine is spilled across the street.