Sign-twirling Crimbo elf

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Sign-twirling Crimbo elf
Monster ID 1261
Locations Crimbo 2012
Hit Points  ?
Attack  ?
Defense unknown
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
Taco Dan's Taco Stand Chillacious Churro, Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
sign-twirling Crimbo elf You're fighting a sign-twirling Crimbo elf

You're stopped by an elf who is holding a big sign with an arrow on it. He points it to the left, but when you look that way, he spins it again so it's pointing to the right.

"Hey, it's getting close to Crimbo season," you say, "shouldn't you be making toys? Wait, let me guess. . ."

"Yup," the elf replies, "Uncle Crimbo's gone bonkers and fired us all again. But that's not important right now. The important thing is there are free tacos at Taco Dan's Taco Stand, over there! But wait, maybe it's over there! or maybe it's straight up into the sky!"

"What is the point of having a sign with an arrow on it if you never stop spinning it, dammit?" you ask, and the elf swings the sign at you.

Hit Message(s):

He spins the sign like a quarterstaff (or maybe a buck-and-a-quarterstaff) and whacks you in the shins with it. Ooh!

He whacks you in the <arse> with his sign. Turns out it wasn't a good sign. Ow!

He spins the sign like a saw blade and gives you a monstrous papercut on your <shoulder>. Ow!

He pokes you with one of the sharp corners on the sign. If only that company hadn't patented rounded rectangles, man. Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He spins the sign so fast it's a blur, hitting you in the <knee>, <lower back> and <groin> before you can say, "which way was that free taco, again?" Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He spins the sign like a quarterstaff, but you muster up two bits' worth of dodging.

He tries to hit you with his sign, but you interpret his sign language and see it coming.

He tries to papercut you with his sign, but you tell him to cut it out.

He tries to poke you with one of the sign's sharp corners, but you're sharp enough to dodge.

Fumble Message:

He drops the sign, looks embarrassed, and picks it up. Turns out there's some mud on it now, and he mutters about how his boss is going to kill him if he can't clean it off. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Blintz.gifYou acquire an item: Taco Dan's Taco Stand Chillacious Churro
Tacoflyer.gifYou acquire an item: Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier
You gain some <substat>.

Notes

References

  • In a recent much derided decision over patents, Apple Inc. were judged to be the owners of the idea of rectangles with rounded corners.