Sensitive poet-type
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a sensitive poet-typeThis is a wide-eyed young man who believes in Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and Love, despite all evidence to the contrary. He writes epic poetry about his feelings, although it's a weird, quite modern form of poetry: it's mostly sung, and consists exclusively of the lyrics to popular songs. I guess I'm not Bohemian enough to understand the line between modern poetry and karaoke. Anyway, he seems to have mistaken you for the evil duke who is trying to steal his courtesan girlfriend, so he's eager to throw down.
Hit Message(s):
He sings a verse of his poetry. It's not that bad, but his voice definitely is. Your ears bleed a little. Ouch! Eek!
He tells you that love is like oxygen, then demonstrates the importance of oxygen by throttling you. Ugh! Ouch!
He tells you that love lifts you up where you belong, and gives you a wedgie to drive his point home. Eek! Ouch!
The truth is, love, that he freely hit you in the <throat>. Isn't that just freakin' beautiful. Ow! Ooh!
Critical Hit Message:
He tells you that he was made for lovin' you, and you were made for lovin' him. When you beg to differ, he decides he was made for beating you, and you were made for getting beaten. Oof! Argh! Argh! Eek!
Miss Message(s):
He tells you that love is like oxygen, but you tell him your love is like water.
The truth is, love, that he freely tried to hit you, but missed. Isn't that beautiful?
He tries to sing you some of his poetry, but you put your fingers in your ears and hum.
He tells you that love lifts you up where you belong, but you tell him love will tear him apart.
Fumble Message:
He starts to recite another poem, but stops, shakes his head, and looks around. "Oh my God," he says, "the absinthe finally wore off. What'm I doing here! I should be training my padawan!" He dashes off for a bit.
Occurs at The Rogue Windmill.
References
- The fumble message refers to another film (besides Moulin Rouge!, of course) in which Ewan McGregor acted, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
- The various hit and miss messages refer to songs sung by McGregor's character Christian in Moulin Rouge!, which in turn refer to several songs taken from popular culture.
- The hit and miss phrase "love is like oxygen" refers to the 1978 song "Love is Like Oxygen" by Sweet.
- The miss phrase "your love is like water" refers to the 1994 song "All Over You" by Live.
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