Raw Recruiting

From TheKolWiki

Raw Recruiting

You wander into another dorm room in the frat house, and see you've stumbled upon the Frat Boy Army recruiting headquarters. A frat boy in full battle gear, sitting behind a desk, beckons to you.

"Hey there, bra," he says. "Ever thought about joining the Army? It's totally extreme and radical to the max, dude! It's just like riding a snowboard down a pristine mountain, then playing a totally awesome video game, then turning into a knight and riding a white horse across a fantasy landscape!"

"Really?" you say. "I thought it was more about killing, maiming, or getting killed and maimed."

"No, bra, that's totally not how the army is these days. Plus, bra, if you join up, you'll get -- hold on --" he pulls out a cue card and reads it, moving his lips slightly, then looks back up "you'll get training in many useful skills that you can use for your post-service career, such as computer tech, tuba player, or crazy homeless veteran. Plus, we'll totally give you money for college if you serve for ten years."

"Won't I be a little old for college then?"

"Look, bra. Just try on this beer helmet. Just try it. It feels good, right? You look totally awesome in it, bra."

You run out of the room, keeping the beer helmet. What a creepy encounter, bra.