Quest Spoilers

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For complete spoilers, follow the link to what you're looking for. Most quests open up according to your level. Your progress in most of the quests can be tracked in the Quest Log.

The Council of Loathing Quests

Level 1 - Toot Oriole Quest ("Toot!") (tutorial; first ascension only)
Level 2 - Spooky Forest Quest ("Looking for a Larva in All the Wrong Places")
Level 3 - Typical Tavern Quest ("Ooh, I Think I Smell a Rat.")
Level 4 - Boss Bat Quest ("Ooh, I Think I Smell a Bat.")
Level 5 - The King of Cobb's Knob Quest ("The Goblin Who Wouldn't Be King")
Level 6 - Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest ("Trial By Friar")
Level 7 - Undefile the Cyrpt Quest ("Cyrptic Emanations")
Level 8 - Mt. McLargeHuge Quest ("Am I my Trapper's Keeper?")
Level 9 - Strange Leaflet Quest (optional)
Level 9 - Orc Chasm Quest ("A Quest, LOL")
Level 10 - Giant Trash Quest ("The Rain on the Plains is Mainly Garbage")
Level 11 - Quest for the Holy MacGuffin ("<Player Name> and the Quest for the Holy MacGuffin")
Level 12 - Mysterious Island Quest ("Make War, Not... Oh, Wait")
Level 13 - Naughty Sorceress Quest ("The Final Ultimate Epic Final Conflict")

Note that newly-ascended characters can't complete the Toot Oriole's Quest again. They should still visit Mt. Noob for a special delivery. All other Council quests (except the strange leaflet) must be completed before the Naughty Sorceress Quest becomes available.

Also note that on October 32 (November 1st), 2005, The Council of Loathing gave the Zombie Cure Quest / Doc Galaktik's Quest for a Cure to everyone. The Gray Plague and its quests were ended on November 6th, after the entire population of the Kingdom was vaccinated. The sick ones, anyway.

Guild Quests

Bitchin' Meatcar Quest ("My Other Car Is Made of Meat")
The Wizard of Ego Quest
White Citadel Quest ("<Player Name> and <Familiar Name> Go To White Citadel") (If you do not currently have a familiar with you, the Familiar Name defaults to Kumar.)
Legendary Epic Weapon Quest ("Me and My Nemesis")