Pygmy headhunter
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 You're fighting a pygmy headhunter
This is a pygmy in a suit and tie, attempting to recruit all the best pygmies out of neighboring tribes and into his own. Or, failing that, to cut off their heads and impale them on pointy sticks. It's win-win!
Hit Message(s):
He viciously stabs you in the <leg> with his pointy stick.Eek! Ouch! Ugh!
He tells you about all the wonderful benefits his tribe provides. While you're mulling over the advantages of a 401k, he stabs you in the head. Oof! Oof! Argh!
He bashes you in the <leg> with his briefcase. Argh! Ooh! Eek!
Critical Hit Message:
He cuts off your head and impales it on a pointy stick. Well, not really, but he comes close. Ow! Ouch! Ooh!
Miss Message(s):
He pokes his stick at you, but you fail to get the point.
He starts to tell you about all the wonderful benefits his tribe provides. When he starts talking about death and dismemberment insurance, though, you get wise and dodge out of the way.
He somehow manages to get his tie caught in his briefcase, nearly strangling himself.
Fumble Message:
He swings his briefcase at you. Long story short, he misses.
 | You gain 143-207 Meat. |
Occurs in Ruins.
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