Perpendicular bat

Perpendicular bat
Location	Guano Junction
Hit Points	12
Attack	18
Defense	18
No-Hit	28
Initiative	60
Meat	24-36
Phylum	beast
Element	None
Physical	None
	Drops batgut, bat wing, sonar-in-a-biscuit
Manuel	perpendicular guano
	edit data

You're fighting a perpendicular bat

This bat is perpendicular to the ground! That makes it totally different from a regular bat!

Hit Message(s):

It flies in perpendicularly and sinks its perpendicular fangs into your neck. Perpendicular. Oof! Argh! Eek!

It rotates you in the <calf>. Ouch! Eek!

It makes a hole perpendicular to your jugular vein. Blood spirals the wrong way out of the hole. Ouch! Ugh! Ouch!

It flies in at a right angle and batters you with its claws. Ouch! Ugh! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

It spins around madly and sinks its fangs into your neck. It manages to take a big circular hole out of your <calf>. Eek! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to sink its perpendicular fangs into your neck, but you leap up and spin-dodge, Matrix style. Aww yeah.

It tries to rotate you in the <calf>, but you dodge.

It tries to make a hole perpendicular to your jugular vein, but you dodge.

It tries to batter you with its claws, but you bat it away. Batter up!

Fumble Message:

It spins around madly, trying to sink its fangs into you and cut you open. Fortunately, it just gets dizzy and collapses to the ground.

You gain 24-36 Meat. (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*

You acquire an item: batgut (15% chance)*

You acquire an item: bat wing (15% chance)*

You acquire an item: sonar-in-a-biscuit (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: perpendicular guano (?? chance)*

You gain 4-5 <substat>.

Notes

"Blood spirals the wrong way out of the hole," is a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Ana Ng, only with "water" instead of "blood" and "sink" instead of "hole."