Orcish Frat Boy (Music Lover)

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Orcish Frat Boy
Monster ID 62
Locations Orcish Frat House
Hit Points 30
Attack 39
Defense 35
No-Hit 49
Initiative 60
Meat 24-36
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
deodorant, ice-cold fotie, ice-cold Sir Schlitz, Orcish baseball cap, roofie
Bounty empty aftershave bottle
Pickpocket packet of beer nuts
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Orcish Frat Boy You're fighting an Orcish Frat Boy

This is an Orcish Frat Boy. He likes beer, hot Sorority Orcs, and music that combines rap with heavy metal. He doesn't get hit nearly often enough -- perhaps you can rectify that.

Hit Message(s):

He rams a beer-bong down your throat and pours pure pain down it. Oof! Argh! Oof! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

He whips out a frat-paddle and smacks you on the arse. You're not sure what hurts worse - the smack or the shame. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He makes you do a keg-stand on a nearby keg. After just a few seconds, your arm gives out and your head collides with the rim of the keg. At least it makes a pleasant ringing noise. Ugh! Ow! Argh! Oof! (sleaze damage)

He looks around for something to break, and finds your <shins>. Ouch! Ouch! Ugh! Argh! (sleaze damage)

He sidles up to you and slips something into your mouth. You wake up five minutes later, vaguely humiliated and not knowing exactly why. Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oof! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He works himself into a fratboy frenzy, bobbing his head to a nearby band rapping and screaming about being male, middle-class and white. He pummels you with fists and paddle before you have a chance to dodge. Argh! Eek! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tries to choke you with a beer bong, but you cover your mouth and flail around until he stops.

He tries to frat-paddle you, but you distract him with a can of ice-cold beer.

He tries to make you do a kegstand, but you won't stand for it.

He looks around for something to break, but can't find anything. Guess it's one of those days.

He tries to slip you a roofie, but you never take drinks from fratboys. Er, you never accept an alcoholic beverage from a fratboy. Whether or not you drink the actual fratboy is up to you.

Fumble Message:

He channels all his fratboy angst into one hard swing of his paddle. Fortunately, he's so drunk that he misses you by several feet, then drunkenly falls over. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*
Spraycan.gifYou acquire an item: deodorant (5.5% chance)*
Fotie.gifYou acquire an item: ice-cold fotie (21.1% chance)*
Beer.gifYou acquire an item: ice-cold Sir Schlitz (20.1% chance)*
Cap.gifYou acquire an item: Orcish baseball cap (5.8% chance)*
Shingle.gifYou acquire an item: roofie (24.9% chance)*
Sandals.gifYou acquire an item: flask flops (??% chance)*
Aftershave.gifYou acquire an item: empty aftershave bottle (100% chance)*
You gain 9.75 <substat>.

Occurs at Orcish Frat House.

Notes

References

  • "He looks around for something to break", combined with the miss message "Looks like it's one of those days", is probably a reference to the Limp Bizkit song "Break Stuff".
  • A "roofie" is a tablet of flunitrazepam, a sedative known by its trade name of Rohypnol.
  • "Screaming about being male, middle-class, and white" might be an allusion to the Ben Folds song "Rocking the Suburbs", which begins with "Let me tell y'all what it's like, being male, middle-class and white."