Mutant cookie-baking elf
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a mutant cookie-baking elfThis elf used to be in charge of making cookies to stuff in the stockings of all of Loathing's good little boys and girls. Since the boys and girls also leave a plate of cookies out for Uncle Crimbo (despite his repeated requests for flasks full of whiskey), Crimbo is pretty much a zero sum game, cookie-wise.
Cookie-wise or cookie-foolish, though, this elf has been seriously mutated by exposure to Grimacite radiation, and the only thing he's interested in cooking now is your goose!
Hit Message(s):
He pushes you against a freshly-baked tray of cookies. Hot, hot, hot! Eek! Ow! Eek! (hot damage)
He slashes you with his claw, then rubs sugar in the wound. Hey, at least it wasn't salt. Ouch! Ugh! Ooh!
He uses one of his grotesquely bulging arms to whack you with a spatula. Oof! Argh! Eek!
He throws a freshly-baked cookie at you. Turns out there's not a lot of difference between molten chocolate chips and napalm. Ouch! Ooh! Eek!
Critical Hit Message:
He slashes your throat, collects the blood in a bowl, and adds flour and sugar to make cookie dough. Wait, that's too gruesome for this game. Er, he gives you a flower! How sweet! Eek! Oof! Ooh!
Miss Message(s):
He throws a freshly-baked cookie at you, but you eat it before it can hurt you. Um, presumably it was going to hurt you. I mean, why else throw it, right?
He tries to slash you with his claws, but they're not sandy enough to do the job.
He tries to whack you with a spatula, but you're not down with thatula.
He tries to push you into an oven, but you swear you've never heard of Hansel or Gretel, and they must be lying.
Fumble Message:
He tries to put icing on a gingerbread man, but it crumbles to pieces in his big, hulking claws. He weeps copiously while you try to remind him that that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Upon reciting The Spirit of Crimbo
or
Occurs at The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory.
Notes
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