Mr. Choch

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Mr. Choch
Monster ID 1814
Locations The Velvet / Gold Mine :Tin Roof -- Melted
Hit Points 400
Attack 200
Defense 200
Initiative 100
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
labrador cookie
Quest Mr. Choch's bone
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Mr. Choch You're fighting Mr. Choch

After being accidentally deported in a hilarious mix-up, he took a job selling fake gold jewelry and fake velvet bullfight paintings to tourists, in order to buy his way back across the border. The money wasn't very good, so he started working in the manufacture of this nebulous merchandise, and subsequently realized that the money would be even better if he had some real gold and real velvet.

Eventually, he became the sole owner of this extremely profitable gold and velvet mine, and here you are. In his office.

Hit Message(s):

You wouldn't think a weapon made out of gold and velvet would be particularly effective, but his gold and velvet nunchucks prove you wrong.

He puts a velvet bag over your head, then hits you with the gold club that he ordinarily keeps in the bag.

"You shoulda been a bartender," he says, as he smashes a bottle over your head. "The bartender never gets killed!"

Critical Hit Message:

"God has mercy," he says as he pulls a shotgun out of his desk. "I don't!"

Miss Message(s):

Out of nowhere, he starts listing off all the different kinds of cats he owns. He must really like cats, because it is a long and varied list.

He looks like he doesn't want to fight you in his nice office, but he ultimately decides one place is just as good as another.

He starts to attack you, but gets distracted and starts giggling like a hyena.

Fumble Message:

It seems like he's really angry at you for messing with his mine; he's gnashing his teeth so hard, he'd gonna need a bridge. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Goodbone.gifYou acquire an item: Mr. Choch's bone (100% chance)*
Labradorcookie.gifYou acquire an item: labrador cookie (?% chance)*

Occurs at Tin Roof -- Melted.

References

  • Mr. Choch's name is a portmanteau of Tommy Chong and Cheech Marin, though he's based more on the latter:
    • Being accidentally deported and having to work his way back is the plot of Marin's 1987 film, Born in East L.A.
    • "The bartender never gets killed!" is spoken by Cheech Marin's bartender character in Desperado.
    • "God has mercy. I don't!" is said by Marin as Padre Benicio Del Toro in Machete.
    • "One place is just as good as another" is a quote from Marin's character Carlos in From Dusk till Dawn, and Choch's list of cats is a reference to list of "pussies" by Chet Pussy, another character played by Marin in the same film.
    • "[H]e's gnashing his teeth so hard, he'd gonna need a bridge" refers to Marin's role on the long-running TV series Nash Bridges.
    • Giggling like a hyena references his role as Banzai in The Lion King.