Monster Manuel (Other)

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

There are 9 creatures filed under Other, and 2 listed here for convenience.

Monster Manuel Entries
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other
Classav2c f.gif Nicesword.gif 240 This monster is a Dude %playername the Adventurer
  • <playername> is largely made of carbon.
  • <playername> has never been to Antarctica.
  • <playername> is basically an okay person, unless [he]{she} has donated recently, in which case [he]{she} is a gorgeous paragon of humanity.
Whiteshield.gif 210 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 900 Initiative +150%
Bond villain5.gif Nicesword.gif 100 This monster is a Dude "Blofeld"
  • Eon films has a long a litigious history involving this "Blofeld" character.
  • Any resemblance to the fictitious Blofeld is purely coincidence.
  • It's not even really him!
Whiteshield.gif 100 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 100 Initiative +10%
Handymanjay.gif Nicesword.gif 150 This monster is a Construct "Handyman" Jay Android
  • "Handyman" Jay's slogan used to be "To wipe your troubles away, try Handy Jay." But times have changed.
  • "Handyman" Jay is a licensed "plumber" and "electrician" with years of "experience," if you know what I mean.
  • Sometimes "Handyman" Jay brings along an "assistant" who is "learning on the job."
Whiteshield.gif 135 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 150 Initiative +80%
Fr phoenix1.gif Nicesword.gif 300 This monster is an Elemental "Phoenix"
  • Phoenix is the name of the company that supplies natural gas to FantasyRealm.
  • The fact that the gas is "natural" means LyleCo gets a bunch of government subsidies that are supposed to go to organic farmers.
  • LyleCo employs a lot of people, but its largest department by a huge margin is "Shady Legal."
Whiteshield.gif 300 This monster is Hot.  Hot is weak against Sleaze and Stench.
Hp1.gif 200 Initiative +300%
Nparty plaingirl.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Dude "plain" girl
  • In the entire history of mankind, nobody wearing glasses has ever been kissed or hugged or loved by anyone.
  • Some people speculate that the only reason glasses were invented is so people would stop kissing and hugging all the time and solve important world problems instead.
  • The ponytail was invented by the first horse.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Shadowsealclubber.gif Nicesword.gif 150 This monster is a Dude (shadow opponent)
  • Look, the shadow opponent is basically a negative-matter version of yourself. Do you need a bunch of fun facts about the opposite of you, or can you extrapolate 'em yourself?
  • Okay, fine. The shadow opponent has impeccable hygiene, is physically fit, and its breath doesn't smell like cheese whether or not it's eaten any cheese.
  • The shadow opponent also has lots of friends, gets laid on a regular basis, and its mother doesn't enjoy sex with dozens of anonymous men.
Whiteshield.gif 89999 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 395 Initiative +150%
1335.gif Nicesword.gif 81 This monster is a Dude 1335 HaXx0r
  • The 1335 HaxXor was orginally called the Xx_1335HaXx0R_xX, until we made him stop.
  • Most of the HaxX0r's "1337haxxx" are just scrolls he bought off of an actual hacker.
  • The 1335 HaxX0r once tried to score those elusive two more 1337ness points by hacking a bugged bugbear. The bugbear responded to the hacking with a fierce slashing.
Whiteshield.gif 72 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 71 Initiative +50%
Foreman.gif Nicesword.gif 57 This monster is a Humanoid 7-Foot Dwarf Foreman
  • Want to know how this guy got to be the foreman? See how he can use a pickaxe in each hand? Yeah, that's how.
  • They call him the foreman because he's worth four regular miners. Well, that's what he tells them. His wife tells a different story. Ooh, zing!
  • The very first thing that the foremen learn to watch out for is dwarves bringing home weird princesses. That just causes no end of trouble.
Whiteshield.gif 51 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 50 Initiative +80%
Miner.gif Nicesword.gif 145 This monster is a Construct 7-Foot Dwarf Replicant
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant spends his downtime making origami unicorns to confuse sci-fi nerds.
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant used to narrate everything he was doing in a kind of dopey monotone voice-over, but the manufacturer removed that feature, thank god.
  • 7-foot dwarf replicants can be identified by giving them a lengthy personality test involving torturing theoretical turtles. If the process doesn't bore them to sleep, they're a replicant.
Whiteshield.gif 130 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 155 Initiative +60%
Butt.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Dude [somebody else's butt]
  • The fax machine was originally invented as a diagnosis tool for proctologists, so that patients could be examined by specialists without having to travel to another hospital. It is only recently that these machines have been used for business purposes.
  • You should never show your butt to a stranger, because they might turn out to be a werewolf.
  • Did we already do the joke about butting heads with buttheads? Okay, never mind then.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 0 Never wins initiative
Wingedyeti.gif Nicesword.gif 120 This monster is a Beast [yetiname]
  • The names of the yetis never really changed, per se, everyone just started using a new method for transliterating the Yeti language into English characters.
  • Yetis mainly live in cold places, because they can't take off their heavy fur coats.
  • If you weren't around for the big skeleton invasion and there's no particular reason why a winged yeti might know your name, well... I guess it's just a fan?
Whiteshield.gif 108 This monster is Cold.  Cold is weak against Hot and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 250 Initiative +50%

Notes

  • The entries for the Adventurer and winged yeti are actually listed under the first letters of their names.

References

  • The weird princess the 7-foot dwarf foreman is worried about is Snow White.
  • The 7-foot dwarf replicant's factoids are all nods to the film Blade Runner.
  • The 1335 HaXx0r's first factoid may relate to xSmootx, a notorious troll strongly opinionated user banned from the forums.