Monster Manuel (O)

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There are 33 creatures filed under O.

Monster Manuel Entries
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other
Whirlwind.gif Nicesword.gif 132 This monster is a Dude oasis monster
  • There are over 1,000 gallons of water in the whirlpool, or about 375 hectares if you're metric.
  • The oasis monster spins at a mind-boggling 78 revolutions per minute, though sometimes he slows down to 33 1/3.
  • The oasis monster was flung to earth after an unusual celestial event: a champagne supernova in the sky.
Whiteshield.gif 123 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 139 Initiative +40%
Tourist.gif Nicesword.gif 140 This monster is a Dude obese tourist
  • The obese tourist's hoverchair supports up to 450 pounds, and he's pushing it.
  • The obese tourist's favorite food is cake, and his favorite beverage is liquid cake.
  • The obese tourist's happiest memory is the day they introduced carbonated bacon grease in a can.
Whiteshield.gif 135 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 200 Never wins initiative
Badvibe1.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is Weird obsessively imagining your worst phobias
  • Phobias are named after Dr. Jack Phobia, who invented being afraid of things. Accidental death rates were wildly high before he came along.
  • The top three rarest phobias are the fear of marshmallows, the fear of nice spring days, and the fear of glitter.
  • Most phobias are really pretty irrational when you get down to it. Except for coulrophobia.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Octopus.gif Nicesword.gif 425 This monster is a Fish octopus gardener
  • Octopus gardeners know where you've been -- that's why they're so hostile toward you.
  • I know what you're thinking, punk. Does this thing have five tentacles, or six? Well, to tell you the truth, it's eight.
  • The nervous system of an octopus is distributed throughout its entire body. So if you want to hit it in the head, you have to hit it on the end of each of its tentacles, probably.
Whiteshield.gif 360 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 600 Initiative +200%
Octorok.gif Nicesword.gif 25 This monster is a Beast Octorok
  • The peculiar biology of the Octorok, specifically where it gets all those rocks, has finally been examined by Loathing scientists. See the next factoid for more.
  • Octoroks process grains of sand that get caught in their nasal cavity, coating it with layers of snot which petrifies and turns into ammo.
  • So yes, you've been getting hit with Octorok boogers all this time.
Whiteshield.gif 22 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 15 Initiative +60%
Adv stench4.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Dude Odorous Humongous
  • Odorous Humongous was not as unpopular in high school as you might expect. Turns out he's a really good guitarist.
  • His stench is as much an affectation as his armor. He's actually a very clean guy.
  • He comes from a long line of stench-lords. His father was Odious Enormous, his grandfather was Nastius Giganticus, and his great-grandfather was Stinky Jeff. It took a couple generations for the naming convention to really be established.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 0 Never wins initiative
Kg offdutyguard.gif Nicesword.gif 30 This monster is a Goblin off-duty Knob Goblin Elite Guard
  • Most Knob Goblins have terrible peanut allergies, which partly explains why they eat so many sausages.
  • It's rare to encounter an Knob Goblin guard without his helmet on -- it's kind of a pain getting their actual horns tucked properly into the helmet horns, so most of them just wear the helmet all day.
  • Knob Goblin guards are automatically promoted to Elite if they can go more than sixty days without being killed by an adventurer.
Whiteshield.gif 22 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 30 Initiative +50%
Officialseal.gif Nicesword.gif 110 This monster is a Demon official seal
  • Official seals mean business.
  • "Business" means "the activity of making, buying, or selling goods or providing services in exchange for money."
  • Official seals don't actually mean business. I was confused there for a minute.
Whiteshield.gif 110 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 300 Initiative +70%
Fr ogrechieftain.gif Nicesword.gif 300 This monster is a Humanoid Ogre Chieftain
  • The first rule of this brogre's club is that he's definitely going to hit you with it.
  • LyleCo kept having to buy this guy bigger and bigger clubs as his gains decreased.
  • The thing about a big heavy club is that it's like, a natural movement, bro. It's way better for you than isolating specific muscle groups on fancy gym equipment.
Whiteshield.gif 700 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 500 Never wins initiative
Oilbaron.gif Nicesword.gif 85 This monster is a Slime oil baron
  • The baronies over which oil barons preside are extremely unpleasant places. The smell alone is flammable.
  • Oil barons are often in a bad mood because their wives are infertile. A baroness's barrenness is hard to cope with.
  • Oil barons should under no circumstances be allowed to interact with water barons.
Whiteshield.gif 77 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 60 Initiative +80%
Oilcartel2.gif Nicesword.gif 85 This monster is a Slime oil cartel
  • The Spanish term for oil cartel is "el oil cart."
  • Oil Carts A through K were even meaner.
  • If you get on an oil cartel's bad side, you're gonna have some problems. Also, oil cartels don't have a good side.
Whiteshield.gif 77 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 60 Initiative +90%
Oilslick.gif Nicesword.gif 85 This monster is a Slime oil slick
  • Oil is technically undead dinosaurs.
  • If you think about it, a refinery is a lot like a finishing school: You go in crude, you come out a lady.
  • Though you may associate oil with swimming pools and movie stars, it is decidedly unwise to actually pour oil on either of those things.
Whiteshield.gif 77 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 60 Initiative +50%
Oiltycoon.gif Nicesword.gif 85 This monster is a Slime oil tycoon
  • An oil tycoon is somewhat odious to be around, but far less so than an oil typhoon.
  • Oil tycoons all carry around extra long straws so they can drink other peoples' milkshakes.
  • An oil tycoon is one degree above an oil baron, and one step below a crude king.
Whiteshield.gif 77 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 60 Initiative +65%
Straw sleaze.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Construct oily straw house
  • Man, these oily pigs are nasty. I'm sure that house was built of fresh, clean straw when they started.
  • I mean, a pig is a filthy animal, no matter what, but these pigs are just so much nastier than the normal ones. Even if they had a great personality, they would still be gross.
  • Like, if they were twice as charming as that Arnold on Green Acres, they'd still be gross.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 0 Never wins initiative
Olscratch.gif Nicesword.gif 500 This monster is a Demon Ol' Scratch
  • Ol' Scratch no longer trades golden fiddles for souls, but he *will* trade an aluminum banjo for your sense of self-worth.
  • Ol' Scratch is actually Satan's second cousin twice removed. He was kicked out of Hey Deze for playing the harmonica too loud.
  • Ol' Scratch's horns are actually glued on. They'll pop right off, taking skin and hair with 'em.
Whiteshield.gif 450 This monster is Hot.  Hot is weak against Sleaze and Stench.
Hp1.gif 8000 Initiative +150%
Noart.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Beast one of Doctor Weirdeaux's creations
  • As a child, Dr. Weirdeaux had a dog named Phydeaux.
  • Dr. Weirdeaux is more of a tinkerer than a mad scientist. It's not like he's getting peer-reviewed, or like he's got a specific goal in mind with his monstrosities.
  • In fact, Dr. Weirdaux has less in common with supervillains than with those dudes who build those gigantic sculptures for Burning Man. He's just more likely to integrate an actual burning man into his design.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster is Spooky.  Spooky is weak against Hot and Stench.
Hp1.gif 0 Initiative +35+5*(number of monsters defeated)/Always (when cheetah part is included)%
Sourceagents.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Construct One Thousand Source Agents
  • Okay sure, if he can clone himself once, he can clone himself a thousand times. That's not the problem. But where did he get all the sunglasses?
  • Considering that he thinks humankind is a virus, isn't constant identical self-replication maybe just a little bit hypocritical?
  • We didn't do any Merovingian jokes because I never figured out who he was or what he was saying.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 0 Never wins initiative
Dk oneeye.gif Nicesword.gif 11 This monster is a Humanoid one-eyed Gnoll
  • The one-eyed gnoll gave his eye to gain wisdom and the ability to see the future. Just kidding. He lost it in a poker game.
  • Gnolls have poor vision anyway, but they do have a keen sense of smell. Which means they smell terrible while smelling well.
  • When you lose one eye, you don't lose 50% of your vision, as there's a substantial overlap. You do get 50% more badass, though.
Whiteshield.gif 9 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 5 Initiative +60%
Oneeyed.gif Nicesword.gif 150 This monster is a Constellation One-Eyed Willie
  • Legend has it that One-Eyed Willie was placed into the sky by the gods as a reward for thwarting the Fratelli gang.
  • The four stars in One-Eyed Willie's smile are also part of the Little Man in the Canoe constellation.
  • Before the astronomy field was overrun by immature snickering doofuses, One-Eyed Willie was called the Stop Sign.
Whiteshield.gif 135 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 150 Initiative +70%
Fratboy.gif Nicesword.gif 39 This monster is an Orc Orcish Frat Boy
  • One wonders why Loathing University continues to admit Orcish Frat Boys, considering their uniformly terrible grades and behavior. Actually, probably more than one wonders that.
  • Have you ever encountered an orc who wasn't a frat boy? I haven't either!
  • The native homeland of the Frat Orcs is of course the Orc Chasm. It's actually a very nice place, leading to the conclusion that Frat Orcs are as wild as they are because they're rebelling against their parents. This is hardly a surprising revelation.
Whiteshield.gif 35 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 30 Initiative +60%
Fratboy.gif Nicesword.gif 40 This monster is an Orc Orcish Frat Boy
  • Your garden variety Orcish Frat Boy, or Doucheus Paddlem, has an IQ of 60 and a vocabulary of approximately 20 words, most of which are "beer."
  • Orcish Frat Boys are color-blind. They think their pastel pink polo shirts are gray.
  • Most Orcish Frat Boys spend more time with guys dressed in women's clothing than they do with actual women. Because they're so manly, bro.
Whiteshield.gif 36 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 30 Initiative +60%
Fratskirt.gif Nicesword.gif 41 This monster is an Orc Orcish Frat Boy
  • The only thing lower than an Orcish Frat Boy is the self esteem of their pledges.
  • When you think about it, though, there's nothing more macho than to be a dude wearing a dress in a frat house. That takes some steely-eyed (and dan'd) determination.
  • There isn't a college affiliated with the Frat House. These orcs just gradually evolved into frat boys on their own.
Whiteshield.gif 36 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 30 Initiative +60%
Fratbong.gif Nicesword.gif 165 This monster is an Orc Orcish Frat Boy Spy
  • Because of their selfless willingness to dress up as hippies and forgo their pink polo shirts, Frat Boy Spies are allowed to cut into any keg line.
  • Frat Boy Spies occasionally decide they enjoy the hippy lifestyle and go rogue. If they're ever recaptured by frat boys, it takes months of drinking and paddling to retrain them.
  • A Frat Boy Spy is often betrayed by the pungent mixture of body spray and patchouli oil.
Whiteshield.gif 153 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 180 Initiative +60%
Lilfratboy.gif Nicesword.gif 38 This monster is an Orc orcish frat wannaboy
  • The orcish frat wannaboy will eventually discover reggae music and herbs, and turn into a wannahippy.
  • The orcish frat wannaboy's spray tan is actually made out of the same orange dust that covers the popular snack food Cheat-Os.
  • No one's sure why the wannaboy wears worthless diamonds in his ears. If he's really trying to represent, they should be hamethyst at least.
Whiteshield.gif 54 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 90 Initiative +40%
Lilfratboy.gif Nicesword.gif 35 This monster is an Orc orcish juvenile delinquent
  • Orcish juvenile delinquents don't just T.P. houses; they soak the T.P. in alcohol and light it on fire when they're done.
  • Orcish juvenile delinquents aren't of the adorable "slingshot in the overall pocket" type. They're more the "tying cats to a ceiling fan" type.
  • Some orcish juvenile delinquents can be reformed with a lot of patience and love. All can be dealt with by the judicious application of a blunt instrument, sharp weapon, or fire.
Whiteshield.gif 40 This monster is Sleazy.  Sleaze is weak against Cold and Spooky.
Hp1.gif 80 Initiative +50%
Oscus.gif Nicesword.gif 500 This monster is a Hobo Oscus
  • Oscus smells like a bag of dead skunks floating in a sewage lagoon.
  • Oscus smells like fish heads and freshly-steamed broccoli with a side order of rotten eggs.
  • Oscus doesn't smell very good, is what I'm getting at.
Whiteshield.gif 450 This monster is Stinky.  Stench is weak against Cold and Sleaze.
Hp1.gif 6500 Initiative +200%
Othello.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Dude Othello
  • When Othello stood on his hands, everyone thought he was white.
  • Check out what Wikipedia says about how Desdemona is killed in the original book Shakespeare based the play on. It's nuts.
  • Shakespeare's original plan for Othello was to do a whole series of plays with the characters, including a nosy landlord and his wife who would later be spun off into their own plays. Unfortunately he accidentally killed everyone off in the first episode.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Orangutan.gif Nicesword.gif 0 This monster is a Beast Ourang-Outang
  • Ourang-Outangs are seven times stronger than humans, and twelve times better at stamp collecting.
  • Ourang-Outangs gain most of their nutrients by absorbing the blood of their prey through their skin.
  • At least two percent of the world's religious leaders are secretly Ourang-Outangs in disguise.
Whiteshield.gif 0 This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif 0 Initiative +60%
Bandsaw.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Construct out-of-control bandsaw
  • Occasionally a bandsaw's band breaks up from the heat and pressure it's subjected to. This is called "going solo."
  • The bandsaw is the most dangerous thing in a wood shop, unless your wood shop has a disguised pit with punji sticks on the bottom.
  • Seriously, the only quicker way to remove your own fingers is by insulting Johnny Wirecutterhands.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Initiative +20%
Tableoutlaw.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Dude outlaw behind an table
  • Don't let him drop that table. It'll be White Wednesday all over again.
  • He's probably just hiding back there because he doesn't want to share his pretzels.
  • Most modern tables probably wouldn't stop a bullet. They really knew how to make 'em, back in the day.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Outlawboss.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Dude outlaw leader
  • Outlaws don't have very good retirement plans.
  • The most famous outlaw ever was Big Wyatt Jameston, who once robbed an entire bank. Like, he took the whole thing. Including the tellers.
  • Outlaws are people who aren't members of your husband or wife's family.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Surv overarmed.gif Nicesword.gif ? This monster is a Dude overarmed survivor
  • The second-leading cause of death among ammunition stockpilers is smoking. Well, it's sort of an indirect cause.
  • Many elf survivalists use leftover shell casings to make a variety of attractive arts and crafts, such as windchimes and bud vases.
  • Elf survailists often say that you can't have too many guns. A counter-argument used by mathematicians is that a gun-to-bullet ratio lower than 1/1 would in fact indicate too many guns.
Whiteshield.gif ? This monster has no particular elemental alignment.
Hp1.gif ? Never wins initiative
Meatblob.gif Nicesword.gif 4 This monster is a Slime overdone flame-broiled meat blob
  • Seriously, guys. Medium rare at the very most. If you don't have that pink center, you're just eating charcoal.
  • Mind you, eating charcoal is a good way of absorbing certain poisons, if you accidentally ingest them.
  • The flame-broiled meat blob has an entire day's worth of calories in it. Or, as we Americans put it, "a light snack."
Whiteshield.gif 1 This monster is Hot.  Hot is weak against Sleaze and Stench.
Hp1.gif 2 Initiative +60%

References