|Locations||The Haunted Laboratory|
|Monster Parts||arm, gallows, head, leg, torso|
This skeleton is the standard to which all other skeletons should aspire. The ribs are all perfectly symmetrical, the ratio of pelvis to femur is sublime, and the shape of the mandible would make a sculptor weep.
It was also one of those skeletons that serves as a model for anatomy classes. Unlike the multifarious other skeletons in this game, this one wasn't magically animated; it's being controlled by a poltergeist. Which, y'know, totally different.
It bites you with its skeletal teeth. They're not much different to regular teeth. Eek! Ugh! Ow! Oof!
It breaks off a rib and whips it at your <face>, leaving a beautiful rib-shaped bruise. Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! Oof!
It elbows you with a bony elbow. Eek! Ouch! Oof! Argh!
It hip-checks you with its pelvic bone, flashing you back to the night you were in the mosh pit with that really skinny chick. Ooh! Oof! Oof! Ouch!
It knees you with a perfectly formed patella. You wince even as you marvel at the aesthetic perfection of its kneecap. Ugh! Eek! Eek! Ow! Ugh!
It smacks you with an arm bone. It's far from humerus. Eek! Ouch! Ooh! Oof!
It kicks and punches you with its perfectly-formed bony fists and feet, until you're so covered in bruises that you wish you were a skeleton. Ouch! Ugh! Oof! Eek!
It thinks about biting you, but its teeth aren't all that well attached without gums.
It tosses a rib at you, but you dodge.
It tries to connect its elbow bone to your solar plexus, but you dodge.
It tries to hip-check you, but you tell it to check itself.
It tries to knee you, but the poltergeist forgets to hold onto the patella, which isn't connected to anything without tendons and whatnot.
It tries to smack you with an arm bone, but you dodge both the attack and the temptation to make a 'humerus' pun.
The poltergeist holding it up gets temporarily distracted and the skeleton crashes to the ground. It takes the poltergeist a few minutes to remember which bones are connected to which other bones. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: funny bone (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: rubber ribcage (5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: synthetic marrow (15% chance)*|
|You acquire a bounty item: rubber rib|
Occurs at The Haunted Laboratory.