|Locations||The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons|
|Monster Parts||head, leg, torso|
This hermit crab has made perhaps the worst residential decision in the history of the sea -- it has made a home inside an unexploded naval mine. Although I suppose if he needed his house to be swept, cubicle workers all over the world would be more than willing to help him.
Anyway. You're in an extremely delicate situation here. Try not to make any sudden movements, eh?
It pinches you in the <lower back>. Well, now at least you know you're not dreaming. Oof! Oof! Argh! Ouch! Ow! Ugh! Eek!
It says, "hey...hey..." and karate-chops you with a claw Ugh! Eek! Oof! Ow! Ooh! Eek! Ugh!
It stomps on your foot with its spiny leg. This little piggy got shish-kabobed. Eek! Ow! Eek! Eek! Eek! Ouch! Eek!
It bounces its mine against you. It hurts, but it could have been a lot worse. Oof! Ugh! Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Ow! Argh!
It lunges at you, and in a frenzied attempt to get out of the way of the mine, you trip and fall on your face. Very slowly, but very painfully. Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
It tries to pinch you, but can't. Does that mean you're dreaming?
It tries to karate-chop you, but you dodge.
It tries to stomp on your toes, but hits the piggy that's at the market.
It tries to hit you with its mine, but you dodge for your life.
Startled by something, the crab disappears into the mine for a few moments. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 200-300 Meat (average: 250, stdev: 20.82)*|
|You acquire an item: live nautical mine (20.1% chance)*|
Occurs at The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons.
- Explodes if you deal more than 40 damage to it with any single damage source.
|You lose 30,000-134,560 hit points.|
- Funkslinging plot holes is a relatively cheap option to defeat these.
- The "Little Piggy" lines refer to the nursery rhyme "This Little Piggy".
- The line about cubicle workers helping the crab sweep his house is a reference to the staple game of office workers everywhere, Minesweeper.
- The second hit message is possibly a reference to two crabs in the animated film Finding Nemo, in which they are seen fighting over a stream of bubbles coming out of a sewage pipe, while saying "Hey...hey".