| This page is in need of content.
|Locations||A Crowd of Adventurers|
|Monster Parts||arm, leg, head, torso|
You approach a balding man with glasses standing next to a chalkboard, figuring he's probably a good person to ask about the Smartest Adventurer contest.
"Did you know," he asks, "that you can make your own chili powder with a common household coffee grinder?"
"Er, no," you say, as he throws a handful of chili powder into your eyes. "Hey!"
"Did you know," he asks, "that in addition to being a delicious, healthy snack, that olives can also be used as a deadly weapon?"
"Did you know," he says, "that you can make perfectly clear ice cubes by using magic?" He demonstrates by magicking up some perfectly clear ice cubes and hurling them at your <lower back>. Ugh! Oof! Eek! Ow! (cold damage)
He snaps his fingers, and your body's salt content increases to an extremely painful level. "Did you know," he says, "that in Roman times, soldiers were paid in salt?" Argh! Ooh! Oof! Ouch!
He draws a diagram of a molecule on the chalkboard, explaining the mechanism of the toxic compounds he just injected into your <nipple>. Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Oof!
He conjures up a glob of boiling tea and splashes it on your <nipple>. He explains that the Brownian motion of the tea molecules is what's making it hurt so much. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ouch! Ooh! Ugh! Ooh!
Seems to dodge all physical attacks: He dives behind his chalkboard, and your attack only raises a puff of white dust.
Occurs at The Naughty Sorceress' Tower.
- The balding, nerdy chef with a chalkboard is probably Alton Brown.