Metaphysical Gastronomist

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Metaphysical Gastronomist
Monster ID 1679
Locations A Crowd of Adventurers
Hit Points 0
Attack 0
Defense 0
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, leg, head, torso
Drops
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Metaphysical Gastronomist You're fighting a Metaphysical Gastronomist

You approach a balding man with glasses standing next to a chalkboard, figuring he's probably a good person to ask about the Smartest Adventurer contest.

"Did you know," he asks, "that you can make your own chili powder with a common household coffee grinder?"

"Er, no," you say, as he throws a handful of chili powder into your eyes. "Hey!"

"Did you know," he asks, "that in addition to being a delicious, healthy snack, that olives can also be used as a deadly weapon?"

Hit Message(s):

He conjures up a glob of boiling tea and splashes it on your <lower back>. He explains that the Brownian motion of the tea molecules is what's making it hurt so much. Ugh! Argh! Ooh! Ugh! (hot damage)

"Did you know," he says, "that you can make perfectly clear ice cubes by using magic?" He demonstrates by magicking up some perfectly clear ice cubes and hurling them at your <arse>. Ugh! Ooh! Argh! Oof! (cold damage)

He conjures up an emulsifying agent and blasts it into your <head>. Your <leg> emulsifies painfully. "Did you know," he says, "that ground mustard can be used as an emulsifier?" Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Argh!

He snaps his fingers, and your body's salt content increases to an extremely painful level. "Did you know," he says, "that in Roman times, soldiers were paid in salt?" Argh! Ooh! Eek! Eek!

He draws a diagram of a molecule on the chalkboard, explaining the mechanism of the toxic compounds he just injected into your <forehead>. Eek! Argh! Oof! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He conjures up a glob of boiling tea and splashes it on your <face>. He explains that the Brownian motion of the tea molecules is what's making it hurt so much. (CRITICAL HIT!) Argh! Ooh! Ow! Ow!


After Combat

Seems to dodge all physical attacks: He dives behind his chalkboard, and your attack only raises a puff of white dust.


Occurs at The Naughty Sorceress' Tower.

References

  • The balding, nerdy chef with a chalkboard is probably Alton Brown.