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Me and My Nemesis

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For the NS11 version of this quest, please see Slay Your Nemesis Quest.

Description

Once you have accumulated 12 mainstat, the first part of this quest becomes available from one of the two quest-givers in your Guild Hall.

Tasks

The Legendary Epic Weapon Quest

  • The first part of this quest becomes available when your mainstat is 12 and overlaps the Legendary Epic Weapon Quest. See the main article for details on how to craft your Legendary Epic Weapon.

The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave

  • NOTE: At this point, "Me and My Nemesis" will temporarily disappear from your Quest Log until the following stage of the quest begins.

The Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair

  • Some time after you defeat your Nemesis in the cave, you will be attacked by a series of four thugs sent after you by your Nemesis.
  • These monsters are wandering monsters and obey all the encounter rules on that page.
  • The first thug can be encountered almost immediately (5 to 15 turns?), if the player meets the mainstat requirement. The interval between each subsequent assassin is believed to be 35–50 turns.
  • You will continue to be attacked by the same type of assassin unless your unbuffed mainstat is high enough to trigger the next, stronger assassin type. This continues until you defeat the fourth and final assassin. You may encounter the assassins even if you are falling down drunk or have a clover in your inventory.
Class First assassin
Appears at 45+ mainstat
Second assassin
Appears at 60+ mainstat
Third assassin
Appears at 75+ mainstat
Fourth assassin
Appears at 90+ mainstat
Seal Clubber menacing thug Mob Penguin hitman hunting seal Argarggagarg the Dire Hellseal
Turtle Tamer turtle trapper Safari Jack, Small-Game Hunter
Pastamancer evil spaghetti cult assassin Yakisoba the Executioner
Sauceror béarnaise zombie Heimandatz, Nacho Golem
Disco Bandit flock of seagulls Jocko Homo
Accordion Thief mariachi bandolero The Mariachi With No Name
  • Despite the seemingly confusing nature of the maze, there are in fact only 6 possible platform sets, each of which has 5 configurations. There is no overlap between the configurations within each set, with the exception of the goal. The configurations cycle around, with 1 leading to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, and 5 back to 1. Maps of all 6 sets, their configurations, and solution paths exist for the adventurer who cannot figure them out or wishes to complete them without going through the puzzle-solving process. There is also a Greasemonkey script that automatically walks the path for you.
  • Alternatively, you can choose to skip the maze at a cost of 10 adventures, but you will miss out on some rewards.
  • Defeat the penultimate and ultimate forms of your Nemesis (if you lose the battle against your Nemesis' final form, you do not need to fight him/her/it in A Volcanic Cave again):

Rewards

Legendary Epic Weapon Epic Hat 4000-Meat Autosell Item Familiar Hatchling Epic Pants Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon Epic Accessory
Class1.gif Sealbane.gif
Hammer of Smiting
Sealhat.gif
Scalp of Gorgolok
Tooth.gif
Argarggagarg's fang
Seallarva.gif
adorable seal larva
Epicpants1.gif
Krakrox's Loincloth
Sledge.gif
Sledgehammer of the Vælkyr
Sealclaw.gif
Claw of the Infernal Seal
Class2.gif Turtlestar.gif
Chelonian Morningstar
Turtlehat.gif
Elder Turtle Shell
Jackmoustache.gif
Safari Jack's moustache
Untamed.gif
untamable turtle
Epicpants2.gif
Galapagosian Cuisses
7aspects.gif
Flail of the Seven Aspects
Spikegarter.gif
Garter of the Turtle Poacher
Class3.gif Perilpasta.gif
Greek Pasta of Peril
Collander.gif
Colander of Em-er'il
Ricehat.gif
Yakisoba's hat
Macaroniduck.gif
macaroni duck
Epicpants3.gif
Angelhair Culottes
Capspoon.gif
Wrath of the Capsaician Pastalords
Spagbandolier.gif
Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental
Class4.gif 5alarm.gif
17-alarm Saucepan
Saucehat.gif
Ancient Saucehelm
Cheezheart.gif
Heimandatz's heart
Cheezblob.gif
friendly cheez blob
Epicpants4.gif
Newman's Own Trousers
Windsorpan.gif
Windsor Pan of the Source
Gravybelt.gif
Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
Class5.gif Discobanjo.gif
Shagadelic Disco Banjo
Pick.gif
Disco 'Fro Pick
Monkeyhead.gif
Jocko Homo's head
Discoball.gif
unusual disco ball
Epicpants5.gif
Volartta's bellbottoms
Seegerbanjo.gif
Seeger's Unstoppable Banjo
Newwavebling.gif
Bling of the New Wave
Class6.gif Legend.gif
Squeezebox of the Ages
Hat2.gif
El Sombrero De Lopez
Vcase.gif
The Mariachi's guitar case
Chihuahua.gif
stray chihuahua
Epicpants6.gif
Lederhosen of the Night
Trikitixa.gif
The Trickster's Trikitixa
Skullbuckle.gif
La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez

Text

Seal Clubber and Turtle Tamer

  • After encountering menacing thug:

"<Name>! Thank goodness you're here -- some pretty shady characters have been asking about you."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Your Nemesis' work, I'll wager. I wish I could tell you we'd tracked down his/her location, but he/she's proving to be devilishly sneaky. You'd better watch your back."

"Yeah, thanks."

  • After defeating all the thugs:

"It's good to see you in one piece, <name>. I hope your Nemesis' thugs aren't giving you too much trouble?"

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"Ah, so it was a secret tropical island volcano lair after all, eh? Hmm, the markings on this map indicate treacherous waters; you're going to need a sturdy ship and an experienced crew to get there."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"I'm afraid not. We have a small ship that we use to run errands and so forth, but it isn't robust enough to make this trip. You will need to seek out transportation elsewhere."

"That figures."

  • After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:

"Hello again, <name>. Nice pants."

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?"

"Sorry, but no."

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later."

"Good luck! Remember, time is of the..."

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

  • After defeating your Nemesis:

"<Name>! Welcome back! I have excellent news for you!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"Really? That's fantastic!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Oh, yes, well, about that... that's what I wanted to tell you, actually. See, we found it."

"... You found it?"

"Yeah, it turned out not to be missing after all. See, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving), he sent it out to be cleaned, and forgot to tell anyone."

"..."

"Sorry about that. Larry's new. But anyway, we've got it back now. And hey, you beat your Nemesis, that's really terrific! It'll be nice not having to worry about he/she[sic] any more."

"...Yeah."

"I should give you something for your trouble, though. Here's some meat. Go take a nice vacation or something, you've earned it!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

Meat.gifYou gain 6,000 Meat.

Pastamancer and Sauceror

  • After encountering menacing thug:

"Ah, <Name>, it is good to see you safe. There have been some notably disreputable-looking people inquiring about you."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Undoubtedly an attempt at revenge by your Nemesis. Unfortunately, he has somehow managed to defeat all attempts to locate him via magical means. We will continue our attempts, but in the meantime, please use the utmost caution."

"Yeah, thanks."

  • After defeating all the thugs:

"Ah, <name>, you've returned. And relatively unscathed, I am pleased to note. Are your Nemesis' assassins proving to be an ordeal?"

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"It appears my earlier musings were justified -- it was a secret tropical volcano island after all. Interesting. ...It appears that you will need a ship to reach it, and a strong one at that, judging by the indicators on this map."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"Unfortunately, such a ship is not among our available resources, and none of our transportation specialists will have the requisite knowledge of your destination needed for a spell of teleportation. You will need to locate a ship through other channels."

"That figures."

  • After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:

"Greetings to you, <name>. Nice pants."

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?"

"No, unfortunately not."

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later."

"Good luck! Remember, time is of the..."

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

  • After defeating your Nemesis:

"Ah, <name>! You have arrived at a fortuitous time! I have excellent news for you!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"Have you? Marvellous!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Ah, yes, the artifact. In fact, that is just what I wished to speak with you about. As it happens, we've located it."

"... You located it?"

"Indeed. It was discovered not to be missing after all. You see, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving) sent it out to be cleaned, and neglected to inform the rest of us."

"..."

"Dreadfully sorry about that. Larry's new. But anyway, it's been returned. And it would be remiss of me to allow that to overshadow your accomplishments in defeating your Nemesis! It will indeed nice to not have to worry about he[sic] any more."

"...Yeah."

"Allow me to compensate you for your trouble with some meat. I daresay you've earned yourself a good vacation, after all this!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

Meat.gifYou gain 6,000 Meat.

Disco Bandit and Accordion Thief

  • After encountering menacing thug:

"<Name>, buddy, good to see you've still got your head attached. There's some pretty sketchy people looking for you, and believe me, I know from sketchy."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Yep, that's what we're hearing. No dice on trying to find his hideout yet, either. You might wanna lie low till the heat's off. 'Course, that could be a pretty long time."

"Yeah, thanks."

  • After defeating all the thugs:

"Hey, it's my buddy <name>! I thought your goose was cooked what with thugs and hitmen and like that."

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"Hah, so it was a secret tropical volcano island after all, eh? I totally called it. From this map, though, it looks like you're gonna need some hardcore sailing gear to get there. A major ship, and guys to run it."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"Sorry man. We've got a few fast little boats for, you know, totally legit deliveries, right? But nothing that can handle that section of the sea. Look at these little squiggles, they look super dangerous. You'll have to scam a ride off someone else."

"That figures."

  • After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:

"Hey, <name>, good to see ya. Nice pants."

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?"

"Yeah, no. Not at all."

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later."

"Okay, see ya around. Remember, time is of the..."

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

  • After defeating your Nemesis:

"Hey, <name>, buddy! Great to see ya, babe! Wait'll you hear the news, it'll blow your mind!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"For real? Hey, that kicks ass!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Oh, right, yeah, well see... that's the big news I was talking about before. See, the deal is... we found it."

"... You found it?"

"Yeah, I know, right? Turned out it wasn't really missing at all. See, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving), he sent it out to get cleaned, and he kinda spaced on actually giving anyone else the low-down."

"..."

"Yeah, sorry. Larry's new. But hey, we've got it back now, and anyways, you beat your Nemesis, right? That's aces, buddy! Lemme tell ya, I was getting pretty sick of worrying about that guy wandering around loose."

"...Yeah."

"Don't let it be said we don't take care of our own, though. Lemme give you some meat, and you can take a vacation or something. Get a little R & R, a little downtime, that'll be just the ticket!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

Meat.gifYou gain 6,000 Meat.

History

  • This quest replaced the old NS11 Slay Your Nemesis Quest on February 16, 2010. The in-game update said, "Seven new trophies, no ten, are now available. (I mean, seventeen. Three? Seventy.)"
This page was last modified on 23 August 2014, at 00:08.
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