Maximizing Your Meat Drops

From TheKolWiki

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded

Needs to be rewritten to match the new dressing for success page.
NPZR-farming also needs to be checked against the lep and rewritten.

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All players find themselves at some time requiring more Meat. Whether it is to buy that last skill you need, or to save up for that Ultra-Rare you've always wanted, you'll have to be dressed appropriately. This page shows the best equipment for each "classification" of player: Deity, Villa, Ascender, Normal, and Apathetic Lizardman. Each classification has a variety of resources available to them as detailed here.

Note that purchasing all the item buffs below is not necessarily cost-efficient, as the resulting drop bonus may not cover the cost of the buffs. It may be more useful for a Meat farmer to read Basic Farming or Advanced Farming instead.

KoL Deity: Presumed to have access to every resource in the game, including ultra-rares and custom items. This classification represents the theoretical maximum.

Villa: Next to the Deity in ranking. This classification represents those long-time players which have collected many items, made a number of ascensions, and have a large pool of meat to pull from. Every player in the game is capable of attaining Villa stats.

Ascender: A player that is reasonably active and works to obtain the best items that they can. This player has probably ascended at least several times, and has probably purchased at least a few expensive items from the mall.

Casual: The basic KoL player, who either plays purely for fun, or who is fairly new to the game. Still, this player has made a decent effort to master the game and enhance their capabilities.

Apathetic Lizardman: Players who take a very casual approach to the game. Sacrilegious, isn't it?!

For a complete list of everything which will affect the amount of Meat dropped by monsters, see Meat from Monsters.

	KoL Deity		Villa		Ascender		Casual		Apathetic Lizardman
Hat	Hodgman's porkpie hat	25 Hobo power	Hodgman's porkpie hat	25 Hobo power	n/a	0	n/a	0	n/a	0
Shirt	origami pasties	30%	origami pasties	30%	duct tape shirt	20%	n/a	0	n/a	0
Pants	Hodgman's lobsterskin pants	25 Hobo power	Hodgman's lobsterskin pants	25 Hobo power	stainless steel slacks	20%	n/a	0	n/a	0
Weapon	bottle-rocket crossbow	15%	bottle-rocket crossbow	15%	muculent machete	5%	muculent machete	5%	muculent machete	5%
Off-Hand	Hodgman's garbage sticker	Each Hobo power converts to 1%	Hodgman's garbage sticker	Each Hobo power converts to 1%	cup of infinite pencils	15%	cup of infinite pencils	15%	cup of infinite pencils	15%
Accessory 1	Grimacite gauntlets	30%	natty blue ascot	20%	Baron Von Ratsworth's money clip	15%	pulled porquoise pendant	15%	ratskin belt	10%
Accessory 2	Hodgman's lucky sock	50 Hobo power	Hodgman's lucky sock	50 Hobo power	pulled porquoise pendant	15%	Booty chest charrrm bracelet	10%	Booty chest charrrm bracelet	10%
Accessory 3	Hodgman's bow tie	25 Hobo power	Hodgman's bow tie	25 Hobo power	Order of the Silver Wossname	11%	ratskin belt/ toy crazy train	10%	toy crazy train	10%
Familiar	Hobo Monkey	20 lb	Hobo Monkey	20 lb	Lep Type	20 lb	Lep Type	20 lb	Lep Type	20 lb
Familiar Equip	lucky Tam O'Shanter/ Shatner	50%	Mayflower bouquet	5 lb and 0%-40%	Std Equip	5 lb	Std Equip	5 lb	Std Equip	5 lb
Hodgman's Regal Frippery outfit effect	Yes	25 Hobo power	Yes	25 Hobo power	No	0	No	0	No	0
Healthy Green Glow	Yes	10 lb	Yes	10 lb	Yes	10 lb	No	0	No	0
Amphibian Sympathy	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	No	0	No	0	No	0
Hobonic	Yes	5 Hobo Power	Yes	5 Hobo Power	No	0	No	0	No	0
Empathy of the Newt	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	No	0
Heavy Petting	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb
Leash of Linguini	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	No	0	No	0	No	0
Man's Worst Enemy	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	No	0
Squirming Like a Toad	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	Yes	5 lb	No	0	No	0
Bestial Sympathy	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	No	0
Heart of Green	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb	Yes	3 lb
Sinuses For Miles	Yes	200%	Yes	200%	Yes	200%	Yes	200%	No	0%
Preternatural Greed	Yes	100%	Yes	100%	Yes	100%	Yes	100%	No	0%
Egg-stortionary Tactics	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	No	0%
Polka of Plenty	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	Yes	50%	No	0%
Winklered	Yes	40%	Yes	40%	Yes	40%	No	0%	No	0%
Can't Be a Chooser	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%
Disco Nirvana	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Wasabi Sinuses	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%	Yes	30%
Heart of Pink	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%
Make Meat FA$T!	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Nimble Fingers	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Sticky Fingers	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%	Yes	20%
Expert Panhandling	Yes	10%	Yes	10%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Gnefarious Pickpocketing	Yes	10%	Yes	10%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Material Witness	Yes	10%	Yes	10%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Tongue	Black Tongue	5 lb and 30%	Black Tongue	5 lb and 30%	Black Tongue	5 lb and 30%	Red Tongue	30%	No	0
Cupcake	Your Cupcake Senses Are Tingling	30%	Your Cupcake Senses Are Tingling	30%	Your Cupcake Senses Are Tingling	30%	Your Cupcake Senses Are Tingling	30%	No	0
% Total	970%		910%-950%		701%		615%		150%
Total Weight	71 lb		76 lb		66 lb		46 lb		33 lb
Weight % Bonus	325%		344%		246%		186%		145%
Grand Total	1295%		1254%-1294%		947%		801%		295%

Notes

Hella Smooth (+40%) is a buff available only to those under the Bad Moon sign, and so is not included.

Farming for Meat with a NPZR

A NPZR has an 11% chance to give [(6 × weight) + 10] meat, per combat round.
It also has an 11% chance to deal (weight × 3/2) damage, per combat round.

So, like in stasis strategies, maximizing meat drops can be obtained by taking a passive approach to combat (using a dictionary or low-damage inflicting item such as the seal tooth), allowing the NPZR to kill each monster as slowly as possible and giving more time for it to pick up meat, as long as the monster doesn't kill you first (if you either have high enough moxie, enough HP, are resistant to the monster element, are using stasis strategy, etc). Unfortunately, the induction of monster critical hits makes staying alive considerably harder, but this is partially offset by the fact that the NPZR also heals you.

Figuring out NPZR meat drop

First, calculate how many hits it takes to kill the monster.

Monster HP
(NPZR weight*3/2)

Round up if you get a fraction. Then look at this table to see your average battle length and number of times the NPZR finds meat. (I've done the painful calculations; if you want to check them, look at the end of this section)

Hits	Length	# of meat drops
8+	~30	3.3
7	29.85	3.28
6	29.46	3.24
5	28.51	3.14
4	26.42	2.91
3	22.57	2.48
2	16.62	1.83
1	8.82	.97

Then you just multiply your average # of meat drops per adventure by how big they are. That would be

# of meat drops * (weight * 6 + 10) = Average meat gain per battle

If you want to check my math, or if you think you have a much simpler formula (i.e. taking the average amount of damage an NPZR deals in a turn, and assuming it always deals that), here's why mine is correct.

It should be noted that while this strategy may indeed provide more meat per fight, it is not exactly time efficient. The leprechaun type familiars will give you a substantial meat boost even if the fight is only one round long. NPZR farming requires 30 round fights to maximize meat gain. In the end, it's really up to every player to decide.

Example - Farming the Castle in the Sky

Possibly, the best area for NPZR meat farming would be the The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky, because the base meat drop is added to the meat given by the NPZR. Of course, the non-combat adventures decrease the efficiency, so increasing combat frequency is highly recommended.

All monsters at the Castle have 150 HP. Meat drop is 135-194 (avg: ~150) per monster. So, let's compare a 30-lb NPZR with a 56-lb Leprechaun. If you do all the math, you will get:

56-lb Leprechaun = +355 meat/battle (averaged from 291-419)

30-lb NPZR = +553 meat/battle

Thus, an NPZR is definitely better than a Leprechaun at the Castle. Assuming the 30 rounds don't kill you, of course...

Sadly, all of this was changed when Jick made the NPZR incapable of producing meat after the 10th round of combat. Someone needs to re-calculate all of this.

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