Master of ceremonies
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting the master of ceremoniesThis is an M.C., in the "guy in a top hat who introduces acts" sense, not the "guy in baggy pants who fronts a lot" sense. He's pretty tubby, wears a bright red tuxedo jacket, and has gin blossoms so thick they look like he's wearing rouge. He regards you blearily, then swings his cane at you like a sword. Looks like he's mistaken you for the evil Duke who's trying to buy the Rogue Windmill.
Hit Message(s):
He says, "You're dying, pigeon." Before you can tell him you feel fine, he whacks you in the noggin, fulfilling his own prophecy. Argh! Argh!
He shouts "Everything's going so well!" and does a little dance, stepping heavily on your toes. Ugh! Ugh!
He touches you for the very first time. Well, it's the first time he's touched you, anyway. Ow! Ow! (sleaze damage)
He whacks you with his cane. You shouldn't have tried to eat your pudding before you finished your meat. Argh! Ouch!
Critical Hit Message:
He treats you to a magnificent, opulent, tremendous, stupendous, gargantuan, bedazzling beatdown, with several amazingly-choreographed musical numbers and a cast of thousands. It's over-the-top, but gets the job done. Eek! Eek! Ow! Ow! Oof!
Miss Message(s):
He shouts "Everything's going so well!" and does a little dance. You watch, bemused.
He tries to touch you for the very first time, but you've been touched before.
He tries to whack you with his cane, but your name isn't Michael, so he can't cane you.
Fumble Message:
He has to take a break in the middle of the fight to sing a popular rock song in an operatic style. You twiddle your thumbs and wait while he emotes.
Occurs at The Rogue Windmill.
References
- Messages about being touched for the very first time are referring to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" (see also below.)
- "You shouldn't have tried to eat your pudding before you finished your meat." is a reference to Pink Floyd's The Wall, both song and film. There is a scene in which the main character, Pink, gets hit with a cane by his teacher, who shouts "How can you have your pudding if you don't finish your meat?!".
- The "but your name isn't Michael" is a likely reference to the actor Michael Caine (or perhaps, although less likely, Michael Kane).
- The comment about not being a "guy in baggy pants who fronts a lot" refers to rap artists MC Hammer and MC Frontalot.
- "Everything's going so well!" and "Pigeon, you're dying," refer to quotes from the movie Moulin Rouge!. Any references to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" may also be referencing Moulin Rouge!, as Harold Zidler, the MC in the movie sings that song.
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