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News of the Kingdom from Coldfront:

Are you tired of existing in a 10x10 cubic room? Do you want to absorb more than just what manner of creatures stumble into your domain? Go out there, absorb items, learn skills and acquire effects on the road to becoming human! Don't be square, try Spring 2017's challenge path, Gelatinous Noob! Don't forget to share your memories with other blobventurers on the forum thread!
Jick: Coffee cup topology: https://www.newvision.co.ug/new_vision/news/1436921/coffee-mug-donut-topology-explains
Jick: The Disaster Artist: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3521126/
Hotstuff: This week's assignment is Hitman (https://hitman.com) (the 2016 version), which apparently has a GOTY edition and is re-running all their old "elusive targets".

Today's Featured Article:

Uncle Crimbo

Merry Crimbo, everyone! Crimbo is a special time of year - well, time of three and a half years - which is observed by every single adventurer in the Kingdom. Traditional Crimbo rituals include receiving presents, eating candy, union busting, succumbing to amnesia and travelling through time, getting assimilated by aliens, mutating, busting kneecaps for the Mafia, working at a soul-crushing office job, supplying addicts with their fix (of sugar), building super ultra battle robot go <_<, ruining the environment, playing with robots, being one with your fellow man, and cleaning your... hat. So you can see why everyone observes it, I mean... how could you miss it?

Punch a square from your Advent Calendar, drink some punch made with highly questionable ingredients, and punch your way through Crimbo Town, and I'll see you again in three and a half years... if the fates allow!

Today in KoL History:

2011: In the mists of the Big Mountains, Crimbo Town emerges once more from the Misty Mists. Mist.

2009: Don Crimbo should now give you any quest items you may have lost by ascending in the middle of his quest line.

2008: The next underwater zone is available. See Big Brother for details. He's watching you, you know.

2008: The Bottle-Rocket Crossbow now works the same way in your off-hand as it does in your main hand.

2005: Kmails now expire after 2 weeks instead of 1 week.

2004: Added multi-use to a bunch more items. Stat boosters, bang potions, other random stuff.

Made the name of a Mall store's owner a link to that player's profile.

Fixed some word-wrap issues with the Mall search results.

Made it a little harder to make derivative/msg-breaking names. Now, if a player named "The Dude" exists, it will not allow a new player to create an account named "The_Dude".

Fixed that problem whereby changing clan ranks and titles would always think people with apostrophes in their titles had been changed.

/whois now no longer incorrectly reports people being in the chat if they're not.

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The Kingdom of Loathing   •   Forums of Loathing   •   The Official KoL Fansite
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