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SPLAT! WHACK! BARF!
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News of the Kingdom from Coldfront:

Are you tired of existing in a 10x10 cubic room? Do you want to absorb more than just what manner of creatures stumble into your domain? Go out there, absorb items, learn skills and acquire effects on the road to becoming human! Don't be square, try Spring 2017's challenge path, Gelatinous Noob! Don't forget to share your memories with other blobventurers on the forum thread!
Hotstuff: Yeah, we're totally in shock about how well the game has done. Waaaaay beyond our expectations.
Jick: Yes, it's religious: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/epiphany
CDMoyer: Oops. Someone just didn't check a button. Public now.
CDMoyer: Don't think of it as a world event. Think of it as, some minor stuff happening in an ever evolving Kingdom.

Today's Featured Article:

Hot tub!

Common adventurers waste their time in a sorry little rumpus room, but not you! You're smarter than that! You've worked it out. You've received an invitation to your clan's luxurious VIP Lounge!

Come in, wash the stink of the common adventurer off in the shower, go for a dip in the pool, then relax in the hot tub. We know that you're extremely busy, so get some work done at the fax machine before challenging the other VIPs to a game of billiards. And, of course, you're so very important that we can't help but buy you Crimbo presents all year 'round.

New furniture is supplied occasionally by the fine people at Mr. Store; when this happens, that's your chance to grab the key to the good life. Read more at Clan VIP Lounge.

Today in KoL History:

2006: The oft-overlooked fortune cookie has been the recipient of a reimagining. They're now food, and available at the Demon Market. The fortunes inside have been changed to context-sensitive hints about quests and whatnot.

Also, I apologize for using the word "reimagining" in the above paragraph. It won't happen again.

So You'd Like To:


Editors:

The Kingdom of Loathing   •   Forums of Loathing   •   The Official KoL Fansite
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