Mad wino

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Mad wino
Monster ID 1563
Locations The Haunted Wine Cellar
Hit Points 150
Attack 148
Defense 141
Initiative 50
Meat 40-60
Phylum hobo
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
crazy hobo notebook, pie man was not meant to eat, Psychotic Train wine
Manuel page of the Necrohobocon
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
mad wino You're fighting a mad wino

This guy has been down in the dim dank wine cellar for far too long, soaking in the unhealthy atmosphere of the place and in bottle after bottle of Spookyraven's fortified wine.

Unlike a regular hobo, he looks filthy, unshaven, and unhinged. Sorry, I meant "like a regular hobo," not "unlike."

Hit Message(s):

He pulls a misshapen, hideous statue out of his bindle. It glows brightly, and you freak out a lot. Oof! Ow! Ooh! Ugh! (spooky damage)

He breaks a bottle and slashes your <shins>. Oof! Eek! Argh! Eek!

He charges at you. How do you stop a wino from charging? You can't figure it out, and you get bowled over. Ooh! Ow! Ouch! Oof!

He says, "gimme a dollar! I've got a yellow card and it's two-for-one at the greenfront!' Then he punches you. Ouch! Argh! Oof! Ooh!

He mutters about tentacles and creatures frozen beneath the ice, then punches you in the face. Ugh! Eek! Ugh! Argh!

He hurls a bottle of Incredibly Mad Train wine at you, and it clangs off your forehead. Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

His eyes go black, and he starts reciting forbidden words of a forgotten tongue: "OWA...TAYDOO...SHAYAM..." the[sic]? sound of that horrible speech makes your eardrums try to burrow deep into your brain to escape it. Argh! Ooh! Ouch! Eek! Eek! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

He says, "back off, jimla!" What's a jimla?

He tries to slash your <forehead> with a broken bottle, but decides to empty it before he breaks it.

He charges at you, but you know how to stop a wino from charging, and take away his credit card.

He roots around in his bindle for something to throw at you, but can only find more booze that he doesn't want to waste.

He mutters about the drowned city where the great god Kermithulu lies sleeping.

He hurls a bottle of Incredibly Mad Train wine at you, but you dodge.

Fumble Message:

He smashes the neck off another wine bottle and drains it, looks blearily at you, takes a quick nap, then slowly pulls himself upright again. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 40-60 Meat (average: 50, stdev: 4.47)*
Blacknotebook.gifYou acquire an item: crazy hobo notebook (10% chance)*
Pie.gifYou acquire an item: pie man was not meant to eat (10% chance)*
Wine2.gifYou acquire an item: Psychotic Train wine (10% chance)*

Occurs at The Haunted Wine Cellar.


  • The attack messages about the greenfront and jimla are references to the Stephen King novel "11/22/63"
  • The attack messages about misshapen hideous statue, tentacles, and creatures frozen under ice, are all references to the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Kermithulu is a double reference to Lovecraft and Sonofa Beach
  • The critical.hit message is a reference to the cultists' chant in "The Call of Cthulhu." Also, try saying it out loud a couple times.