Mad Hatrack Messages (O-Z)

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The Mad Hatrack familiar has different combat messages depending on what hat it wears.

O

No messages
Stovehat.gif
<Name> mutters "Nee-oony-wanna. Nee-oony-wanna." and a gout of flame engulfs your opponent, dealing X damage.
Operamask.gif
<Name> sings the music of the night. The spooky high notes hit <it> for X damage.
Operamask.gif
<Name> shouts "Sing, my monster of music! Sing for me!" at <him>. <He> dutifully sings as loud as <he> can, getting quite out of breath by the time he finishes.
Orangehat.gif
<Name> says "DO NOT WANT" and smacks it for X damage.
Orangehat.gif
<Name> smiles hopefully and says, "I can has cheezburger?"
Cone.gif
<Name> dances around singing "I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights," over and over, winking crazily.
Cap.gif
<Name> gives her an atomic wedgie. <it> looks profoundly uncomfortable.
Cap.gif
<Name> says "hey bra, we got some new pledges to paddle!" and grins with anticipation.
Headdress.gif
<Name> gives it an Indian burn, doing X damage.
Headdress.gif
<Name> sees someone nearby picking up litter, and smiles instead of shedding a single tear.
Hat2.gif
<Name> does a perfectly fabulous hat-dance, stomping around the hat and dropping you a wink as he shouts "Au lait!"
Bighelmet.gif
<Name> grins and giggles as the oversized helmet spins on top of him like a plate.

P

Pailup.gif
<Name> takes the pail off and drums vigorously on it, swaying to the beat. Then he looks annoyed when you don't part with your spare meat.
Panhat.gif
<Name> holds out his hat and says, "got any spare meat for a gentleman down on his luck?"
Clipturban.gif
<Name> contemplates the situation for a moment, then headbutts your opponents five times, dealing X damage.
Machemitre.gif
<Name> smiles at you benevolently.
Headgnawer.gif
Partyhat.gif
<Name> says "<Name>, party of one," and winks broadly.
Elfmask.gif
<Name> goes to town on <it> with a pair of dental pliers, dealing X damage.
Pentacorn.gif
<Name> shouts "Give me X damage, or give me death! Or cake! Whichever!" and giggles as he smacks it up one side and down the other.
Pickelhaube.gif
<Name> shouts, "RAUS! SCHNELL!" and headbutts your opponent with the spike on his helmet, doing X damage.
Pickelhaube.gif
<Name> hums "Ride of the Valkyries" as he swoops and dances across the battlefield.
Pighelm.gif
<Name> squeals like a delighted piggy as he spins in a dizzy circle. That'll do, <Name>. That'll do.
Pimphat.gif
<Name> pimp-slaps it for X damage. What a lowlife.
Pimphat.gif
<Name> smiles a pimpin' smile. Where'd he get that diamond grill?
Pixelhat.gif
<Name> says "I'm sorry, castle, but your Mario is in another Princess!" and grins wickedly.
Pixelhat.gif
<Name> refashions the pixel hat into a boomerang and throws it at <it>, hitting for X damage.
Plaidhat.gif
<Name> darts in front of your opponent and screams "HOWDY! HOWDY! HOWDY!"
Plaidhat.gif
<Name> winks at you and screams "GOOD ROOTIN' TOOTIN', PARDNER.
Paperhat.gif
<Name> says, "let be be finally of seem! I am the emperor of ice cream!" and throws a scoop of ice cream at him for X damage.
Paperhat.gif
<Name> says, "my favorite flavor is dark chocolate with a caramel swirl, if you catch my drift," and winks at you.
Plexpith.gif
<Name> says, "this is a great safari! I love petting the pygmy elephants!" He smiles and winks as he pets his invisible elephant friend.
Pointyhat.gif
<Name> winks and smiles at you mischievously. It's pretty creepy, gnome sayin'?
Polyhat.gif
<Name> shouts "Panama! Panama!" as he grins like a madman and winks each of his eyes in turn.
Porchat.gif
"Vote for meeeeee!" shouts <Name> as he jabs a campaign button deep into your foe's flesh, dealing X damage.
Porchat.gif
"I am not a crook!" shouts <Name> as he dances around wildly.
Sp hat.gif
<Name> tries to use your opponent's bosom for a pillow, but only succeeds in buring[sic] <him> for X damage.
Powderwig.gif
<Name> steps in front of your oppoent and filibusters vigilantly, rendering him too bored to attack.
Powderwig.gif
<Name> delivers a rousing political speech.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Alienmask.gif
"Pew pew! Pew pew!" shouts <Name>, as he throws rocks at your opponent, dealing X damage.
Propbeanie.gif
You trick your opponent into backing into <Name>'s rapidly-spinning propeller. It deals X damage, just like the time you shot that swordsman.
Familiar24.gif
<Name> does a gangly-limbed dance and sings a spooky show tune.

R

Radihelm.gif
<Name> hops back and forth, singing a song inside the helmet. It sounds like "Mmmmf mmmmm, mmm hmm mmm mmmmf."
Radhat.gif
<Name> cranks up the Amplitude and dances like KoL Moh Dee, then removes his Eyespeculum and winks at you.
Rberet.gif
<Name> tosses his beret into the air. For some reason, this causes <it> to freeze in <its> tracks.
Rberet.gif
<Name> does a few stanzas of beat poetry, then tosses you a wink when you applaud.
Visor.gif
<Name> massages <him> with teatree oil while explaining the principles of Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect. <He> is too confused to attack this round.
Visor.gif
<Name> asks you to explain why they build castles in the sky, and smiles wistfully as you explain.
Ravioli.gif
<Name> charges into battle, singing an Italian aria as he tramples <it> for X damage.
Cone.gif
<Name> says "Shhhh...I'm a garden gnome," and stares forward, frozen, with one eye squinted shut and a fixed smile.
Warheadband.gif
<Name> picks a flower and hands it to <it>. <It> looks confused and a little less willing to throw down.
Warheadband.gif
<Name> blisses out, spinning around in hippy ecstasy.
Divehelmet.gif
<Name> konks your opponent on the head with his diving helmet, disorienting <him/her/it> for a second.

S

Safhat.gif
<Name> says, "last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I buy my pajamas so big!" and smiles at his 'joke.'
Samuraiturtle.gif
<Name> delivers a fierce karate chop to your opponent's neck
Sealhat.gif
<Name> does an entertaining impression of a seal dancing at a seal club. You unwind a bit and enjoy the show.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Cowboyhat.gif
<Name> says, "A hatrack's gotta do what a hatrack's gotta do," and winks at you.
Skullhelm.gif
<Name> compares it to a kiss from a rose on the PAIN, smacking it for X damage.
Sealhood.gif
<Name> growls at <it>, "you gotta be DOWN with the HOODIE!" <It> looks a little shaken up.
Sealhood.gif
<Name> barks like a barking mad seal, and headbutts <it> for X damage.
Rberet.gif
Message needed
Fezsequin.gif
<Name> says, "let me show you the secret handshake of fez-wearers. Oops, I don't have any fingers!" and winks at you.
Hobowidehat.gif
<Name> says "Well... I guess I'd better be hittin' that dusty ol' trail," then immediately lies down to take a nap.
Mimeberet.gif
<Name> opens his eyes very, very wide, and stares into you. Not at you, but into you. His face twists into a wry smile.
Sinimask.gif
<Name> shouts, "RUN, COWARD!" When <it> doesn't run, <Name> whacks <it> for X damage.
Skeletort.gif
<Name> does a spooky puppet show with the spooky skeletortoise. It takes X spooky damage.
Skeletort.gif
<Name> does the Dead Man's Waltz with the skeletortoise.
Sleepmask.gif
<Name> blinds <it> with the mask and spins it around, chanting "Pinata! Pinata!" <It> looks pretty dizzy when MC Frontalot's done.
Sleepmask.gif
<Name> stumbles around shouting, "hey, who turned out the lights!" His flailing hits <it> for X damage.
Slimehelm.gif
<Name> makes a little slime-moat around you that <it>'s loathe to cross.
Slimehelm.gif
<Name> does a near-infinite headspin, using the helmet's slime for lube.
Velvhat.gif
<Name> dances around like a madman (er... a madrack, I suppose,) distracting your opponent.
Velvhat.gif
<Name> winks as he does a little disco pirouette.
Chaincoif.gif
<Name> shouts at <it>, "you shall not pass until you bring me a shrubbery!" <It> is too busy looking for one to attack this round.
Chaincoif.gif
<Name> sings a song about eating a lot of ham, jam, and spam, while doing a very silly dance.
Snorkel.gif
<Name> whips off his snorkel with one rung and gives him a severe snorkelwhipping, doing X non-sequitur damage.
Showhat.gif
<Name> shouts, "do you know the street value of this mountain?" and hurls a snowball at <it>, dealing X damage.
Queencrown.gif
<Name> pelts <it> with a barrage of snowballs, dealing X damage. Looks like <it> wasn't ready for a crazy little thing called <Name>.
Queencrown.gif
<Name> sings the entirety of Knob Goblin Rhapsody, giving you a chance to take a little nap.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Hat2.gif
<Name> turns you on to a bunch of cool bands, grins a wicked cute grin, and winks sassily at you.
Sb hat.gif
<Name> seems to be enjoying his big furry hat. Of course, what's not to like about a big furry hat?
Stormhelmet.gif
*<Name> says, "we don't need to see your identification. This isn't the pop culture reference you're looking for," then lifts the helmet and gives you a wink and a smile.
Spagmask.gif
<Name> howls a spooky, low-pitch, backwards-looped song, then walks up to <it> and whispers, "Fidelio." <It> starts to look seriously freaked out, man.
Spagmask.gif
<Name> says a pious prayer to the patron of pasta. You feel full of piss and balsamic vinegar again.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Spanglehat.gif
<Name> does a rousing rendition of "La Cucaracha" for <her>, then won't let <her> attack until <Name> gets a tip for the song.
Spanglehat.gif
<Name> tosses the hat to the ground and does a kind of disco hat dance around it, shouting "Olé , olé , stayin' alive!"
Hobofedora.gif
<Name> shouts "I'm a boulder!" and rolls over your opponent, dealing X damage.
Hobofedora.gif
<Name> winks at you and says "This belongs in a noseeum."
Indeterminate
Hedgeturtle.gif
<Name> shouts "Oi! oi! oi!" and gives it a vicious, spiky headbutt for X vicious, spiky damage.
Hedgeturtle.gif
<Name> thrashes around in an invisible mosh pit.
Spongehat.gif
<Name> headbutts it, dealing X damage and leaving it slightly cleaner.
Spongehat.gif
<Name> wipes some of the sweat from your eyes, helping you to see a little better.
Hockeymask.gif
<Name> produces a giant meat cleaver and chases him around for a while. him looks exhausted when the chase finally ends.
Hockeymask.gif
You rest for a bit and watch <Name> stalk an unsuspecting group of promiscuous camp counselors.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Sputtymitre.gif
<Name> nods his head with a somber rhythm as he winks at you pontifically.
Sscap.gif
<Name> says, "give me your clothes, boots, and your chopper... I mean, motorcycle," then winks as he does the Robot.
Starhat.gif
<Name> says "look to the shtars, Bowen!" and grins like a lunatic.
Starhat.gif
<Name> takes off his hat, says, "my God, it's full of stars," and shows it to him. He's so mesmerized he forgets to attack.
Stonecap.gif
<Name> says "tanga nala kwee nala," and smiles at you. Whatever.
Strawhat.gif
<Name> leans back in a rocking chair, chews a stalk of hay, and points to some stuff on the ground you missed.
Suckerhat.gif
"Hikari suitchi ni yoru deguchi no aoi kanaria!" <name> shouts, leaping at him and pummeling him for X (+1) (+1) (+1) (+1) (+1) damage. Then he bows to you, saying "Arigato gyoza."
Sughat.gif
<Name> shouts, "Sugar, we're going down swinging!" and starts throwing punches, hitting your opponent for X damage.
Sughat.gif
<Name> winks coquettishly, smiles, and says, "ain't you just the sweetest thing? Sugar wouldn't melt in your mouth!"
Heromask.gif
<Name> does the Batusi, winking as he does some pelvic thrusts. Well, as far as a hatrack has a pelvis, anyway.
Hobofedora.gif
<Name> lights a crumpled cigarette, takes a long weary drag on it, then walks over to your opponent and belts it in the gut for X.
Hobofedora.gif
<Name> starts shaking your opponent's corpse by the throat, smacking it repeatedly in the face and demanding to know where it's hidden "the stuff".
Sweatband.gif
<Name> says, "I'm a wreckin' machine!" and flings sweat at your opponent for X damage.
Sweatband.gif
<Name> says, "I'm a maniac, maniac on the floor!" and dances until you're convinced he's right.

T

Papercrown.gif
<Name> stands on his head and puts the crown on his feet. "Everything is topsy-turvy!" he shouts, grinning.
Indeterminate
Nemes.gif
<Name> mutters in an ancient tongue and ghostly snakes pour out of his eyes, biting your foe for X damage.
Nemes.gif
<Name> grins madly as he dances around screaming "UNDRYING!"
No messages
Jokerwig.gif
<Name> just grins at your opponent. <He> shudders.
Jokerwig.gif
<Name> just grins at you. You shudder, then go home and take a shower.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Necrocap.gif
<Name> shouts, "Air raid, pledge! Hit the deck!" <She> is too busy diving for cover to attack this round.
Necrocap.gif
<Name> says, "nice fight there, Josh Bro-lin," and grins at you.
Thirdeye.gif
<Name> uses its weird aura-vision to find you some extra meat. And some extra stats?
Dr hat.gif
<Name> says, "whaddayamean, I'm drunk?! I only had tee martoonis!" and throws a drunken haymaker for X damage.
Dr hat.gif
<Name> says, "I -hic- love you, man. No, no, I mean it, man," and smiles at you.
Timehat.gif
<Name> sees that you're about to get attacked and trips it before it can attack you.
Timehat.gif
<Name> does the Time Warp, then does the Time Warp again. Clearly, madness has taken its toll on him.
Timehat.gif
<Name> mutters "I'm late. No... no... I'm early." The air shimmers around you.
AdventuresYou gain 1 Adventure.
Tintam.gif
Moonlight simultaneously glints off <Name>'s shiny hat and wide, crazy eyes.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Topihat.gif
<Name> giggles as he rubs his shrubby head against your opponent, scratching him/her/them all up.
Crimbothead.gif
"Beep boop! BEEP BOOP!" cries <Name> as he blasts your foe with his eye lasers, dealing X damage.
Spacehelmet.gif
<Name> shouts "to infinity -- and a little past that!" and stylishly falls on it, tackling it to the ground.
Spacehelmet.gif
<Name> dances to a spaced out, futuristic groove that only he can hear.
Traininghelmet.gif
<Name> runs directly at your opponent and headbutts it for X damage.
Monster AttackMonster attack power reduced by X
Monster DefenseMonster defense reduced by Y
Trophat.gif
<Name> does a little hula dance, winking at you as he swivels his hips. Wait, hatracks have hips?
Waxhat.gif
<Name> says, "wax on, wax off," and trips it, knocking it to the ground.
Waxhat.gif
<Name> breakdances, doing a killer headspin with his waxy helmet.
Chaincoif.gif
<Name> engages him in a lengthy discussion on the difference between a snood and a coif, occupying him for this round.

U

Foolscap.gif
<Name> grins broadly as he shakes his head, making the bells on his hat jingle.
Santahat.gif
<Name>'s eyes twinkle madly as he winks and grins and chortles, all at the same time. (+X Stats)
Stockinghat.gif
<Name> pulls an icicle out of somewhere and stabs your opponent for X damage. Merry Crimbo!
Sk hat.gif
<Name> does a Danse Macabre as he looks for more items.
Sk hat.gif
<Name> shouts, "I'm a master of fright and a DEEEEMON of light!" He looks too scared to attack this time.

V

Vdghelmet.gif
<Name> butts his helmet against your opponent. It is too shocked, both physically and emotionally, to attack.
Wqueencrown.gif
<Name> pointedly headbutts your opponent for X damage.
Wqueencrown.gif
<Name> peers at you benevolently from beneath the pointy crown.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Vikinghat.gif
<Name> charges <it> and pins <it> to the ground with the horns on his viking helmet, dealing X damage.
Vol hat.gif
<Name> delivers a sarcastic rant about how much it sucks to be a teenager. <It> is too demoralized to attack this round.
Vol hat.gif
<Name> jams you, jacks you, pushes you, pulls you, and talks hard. It's pretty refreshing.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.

W

Usedtape.gif
%%
Wbo helm.gif
<Name> giggles as his helmet glows blue and the air around him gets much colder. Your opponent takes X damage.
Wbhat6.gif
<Name> shouts, "Great Scott!" and headbutts it for X damage.
Wbhat6.gif
<Name> staggers around in a drunken waltz with himself, pausing only to ask if you are the gatekeeper.
Wbhat3.gif
<Name> says, "it's curtains for you, buddy, see?" and punches it for X damage.
Wbhat3.gif
<Name> says, "I gotta get me a dame, one with gams that won't quit and a caboose that'd stop a train!" and winks at you.
Wbhat2.gif
<Name> says, "I wasn't afraid when we landed at Normandy, and I'm not afraid now!" and punches your opponent for X damage.
Wbhat2.gif
<Name> says, "let me tell you, sonny, your grandma was quite the looker back in her day," and drops you a wink.
Wbfoilcap.gif
<Name> shouts, "flag on the moon! Untie corpses in Matt's dare! Level the playing field, dammit!" Your opponent is too confused to attack this round.
Wbfoilcap.gif
<Name> says, "big man, he's got no mojo with the radio filling switchblade orchestra," and smiles beatifically.
Wbhat9.gif
<Name> shouts, "for the glory of Mother Russia!" as he turns up the hat to its hottest setting and plunks it down on your opponent, singeing him for X damage.
Wbhat9.gif
<Name> says, "you know, comrade, I hope this hat doesn't make me too--how you say--hot-headed?" and winks at you.
Wbhat8.gif
<Name> proves he's a sheep in wolf's clothing, BAAA-ing menacingly at your opponent to freak it out.
Monster AttackMonster attack power reduced by X
Monster DefenseMonster defense reduced by Y
Wbhat8.gif
<Name> says, "this is my second favorite use for sheepskin," and winks raunchily.
Wbhat1.gif
<Name> says, "the problems of a monster and a hatrack don't add up to a hill of beans in this crazy world," and headbutts it for X damage.
Wbhat1.gif
<Name> says, "here's looking at you, kid," and winks.
Wbhat4.gif
<Name> shouts, "surrender your HUNNY!" and attacks your confused opponent, doing X damage.
Wbhat4.gif
<Name> dances around while singing a creepy little song about heffalumps and woozles.
Wbhat7.gif
<Name> says, "in Soviet Loathing, hatrack puts hat on you!" and suffocates your opponent with the ushanka, leaving it a little worse for wear.
Wbhat7.gif
<Name> says, "baby powder! What a country!" and winks at you.
Wbhat5.gif
<Name> picks up your opponent and viciously spikes it to the ground for X damage.
Wbhat5.gif
<Name> dances while singing a hilariously off-key punk rendition of the song "My Way."
Polocap.gif
<Name> marches up to your opponent and delivers a powerful old-school smack to its kneecaps.
Polocap.gif
<Name> grins impishly from beneath the brim of the cap.
Waxhat2.gif
<Name> pulls the brim of his hat down in front of his eyes and stands between you and your foe like an old-timey gangster. It's pretty menacing.
Waxhat2.gif
<Name> dances about like a dapper-hatted dandy.
Webmask.gif
<Name> does a postmodern deconstruction of superhero archetypes while making jokes about mega-man, smiling and winking as he breaks the fourth wall.
Bonnet.gif
<Name> says, "I'm a cute little lesbian witch! I hold the power of life and death in my cute little noggin!" Then he dances around, giggling adorably.
Witchhat.gif
<Name> grins and winks at you as it stirs a bubbling cauldron.
Wolfmask.gif
<Name> says, "I'm on the hunt, I'm after you," and snarls ferociously at it, who quails and looks terrified.
Wolfmask.gif
<Name> gives you a big wolf-hug, which leaves you feeling oddly rejuvenated. Anything you'd like to tell us about yourself?
HPYou gain some hit points.
Wolfmanmask.gif
<Name> growls adorably in his little mask.
Dv wolfskull.gif
<Name> snarls, "I'm on the hunt! I'm after YOU!" Your opponent looks intimidated.
Dv wolfskull.gif
<Name> throws back his head and howls at the moon, spooking your opponent for X damage.
Bowlhelm.gif
<Name> takes off the salad bowl and tosses it at him, hitting for X damage.'
Woolhat.gif
<Name> sings a song about believing in daydreams. You take a minute to see if there's any meat lying around nearby.
Tophat.gif
<Name> dismisses it with a derisive, upper-crust sniff. It looks hurt and embarrassed.
Tophat.gif
<Name> says "fourscore and seven years ago, our founding fathers wanted us all to have more meat!" and winks at you.
Laurels.gif
<Name> gestures to your fallen foe and says "gnolls, goblins, skeletons, lend me your ears! I come here not to praise them, but to try and loot their bodies."
Wroughtwig.gif
<Name>, weighted down by his heavy hat, falls over between you and your foe.
Wroughtwig.gif
<Name> leans on you for support. It's heartwarming, even though you know he's only doing it because his hat is so heavy.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.
Wumpwig.gif
<Name> says, "Suddenly, I'm Miss Beehive 1963!" He smiles and waves, pageant-style, at it, and it's're[sic] too nonplussed to attack.
Wumpwig.gif
<Name> tells you an amusing story about the time someone wanted him to go to rehab, and what he said, said, said. You laugh and feel refreshed.
HPYou gain some hit points.
MPYou gain some Mana Points.

X

Xicowl.gif
<Name> says something in a language you don't recognize. Your foe blanches and suffers Spooky X damage.
Indeterminate

Y

Yabbadabba.gif
<Name> says, "hey, Barney, these tobacco-filled tubes are great, aren't they?" and smiles wistfully.
Toupee.gif
<Name> says "don't talk back!" and smacks it for X damage.
Toupee.gif
<Name> yaks on and on about nothing in particular. It gets bored and loses interest in attacking this round.
Hardhat.gif
<Name> uses his topmost rungs to spell out the mystical symbols "Y," "M," "C," and "A" as he smacks him for X damage.
Cone.gif
<Name> snarls "who are you callin' yellow?" Then smiles and winks to let you know he's just kidding.

Z

Zegoggles.gif
<Name> shouts "Ice to meet you! If it bleeds I can kill it! Who is your daddy and what does he do!" while pummeling your opponent for X damage.
Zh hat.gif
Needed
Skullcap.gif
<Name> batters your opponent mercilessly while making creepy "Oooooooh. Oooooooooooh." noises.

References


Mad Hatrack Hat Messages
A-E F-N O-Z