Lounge lizardfish

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Lounge lizardfish
Monster ID 770
Locations The Dive Bar
Hit Points 550
Attack 400
Defense 630
Initiative 100
Meat 160-240
Phylum fish
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, tail, fin
amber aviator shades, hair of the fish, rough fish scale, slug of shochu
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
lounge lizardfish You're fighting a lounge lizardfish

Lizardfish are easily distinguishable by their mouths full of sharp teeth, black spots on their scale-less skin, and their bottom-feeding habits (thanks, Wikipedia!). Lounge lizardfish are even more easily distinguishable by their nicotine-stained fins, amber-tinted shades, fake gold chains, and faint odor of desperation.

Hit Message(s):

He bites you on the bottom. I'm pretty sure that's not what 'bottom-feeder' means. Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Oof! Oof! Ow! Ouch!

He smacks you with a fin full of gaudy rings. Ow, not the ring fin! Oof! Argh! Ow! Ugh! Argh!

He stubs a cigarette out on your arm. Hey, how did he even have that thing lit down here? Eek! Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Eek!

He offers to buy you a drink, then drenches you in flop sweat when you turn him down. Oof! Oof! Eek! Oof! Ooh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He warbles an off-key rendition of a classic lounge song, murdering the tune and forgetting half of the lyrics. When you don't applaud, he smacks you with his tail fin. Argh! Argh! Eek! Ugh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to bite your head, but you point out he's supposed to be a bottom-feeder.

He tries to smack you, but his fin is too weighed down with gaudy fake jewelry.

He notices his cigarette has gone out, which isn't unusual in an underwater bar.

He stops fighting to try and weasel another drink out of the bartender.

Fumble Message:

He tells you that you're so money and you don't even know it. You try and convince yourself it's true. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.73)*
Chestershades.gifYou acquire an item: amber aviator shades (5% chance)*
Chesthair.gifYou acquire an item: hair of the fish (5% chance)*
Scale2.gifYou acquire an item: rough fish scale (4% chance)*
Slug.gifYou acquire an item: slug of shochu (20% chance)*

Occurs at The Dive Bar.



  • You're so money and you don't even know it is a phrase of Trent's from the movie Swingers.