Lamz0r N00b

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Lamz0r N00b
Monster ID 140
Locations The Valley of Rof L'm Fao
Hit Points 69
Attack 79
Defense 71
No-Hit 89
Initiative 70
Meat 24-36
Phylum dude
Elements bad spelling
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
33398 scroll, draggin' ball hat, plastic guitar
Pickpocket Nardz energy beverage
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Lamz0r N00b You're fighting a Lamz0r N00b

D00d, u r so Lamz0r!

Hit Message(s):

He omfgwtfs you right in the <nipple>. O__O Ouch! Ouch! Ow! (bad spelling damage)

He goes all "Super Saiyan" on you. Ugh! Argh! Ouch! (bad spelling damage)

He smacks you up one side and down the other, all the while asking "How U mine 4 fish?" Ugh! Ow! Oof! Argh! (bad spelling damage)

He smacks you with the draggin' balls on his hat. At least he used the ones on his hat... Argh! Ugh! Argh! Ooh!

You express a preference for dubbed anime over subtitled, and he smacks you across the face. Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He concentrates, clenches his fists, and stands motionless for a few minutes. His hat flies off and his hair goes all spikey. He releases a ball of blue energy at you, which knocks you right on your ass. Ugh! Argh! Ouch! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to omfgwtf you, but you don't even know what that means and thus are immune.

He tries to go all "Super Saiyan" on you, but it's more like "Supersize Fries."

He asks "how u mine 4 fish." You laugh at him.

He tries to smack you with the draggin' balls on his hat, but fails.

He asks you, "how is babby formed." You decline to enlighten him.

He's so apoplectic about your preference for dubbed anime instead of subtitled that he can't even smack you.

Fumble Message:

He concentrates and stands stock-still, fists clenched. He starts to glow with an eerie blue light, but nothing else happens. You wait for about thirty minutes while he powers up. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-38 Meat (average: 30.3, stdev: 3.0)*
Scroll2.gifYou acquire an item: 33398 scroll (30% chance)*
Ballhat.gifYou acquire an item: draggin' ball hat (12.5% chance)*
Plasticguitar.gifYou acquire an item: plastic guitar (10% chance)*
You gain 19.75 <substat>.

Occurs at The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm.

Notes

References

  • The Lamz0r N00b is pictured wearing a draggin' ball hat, which is a play on the manga series Dragon Ball, in which "Super Saiyan" is the powerful legendary battle-state of Saiyans first achieved in Dragon Ball Z. The critical hit and fumble messages reference the incredibly overblown, drawn-out fight sequences in the anime version of the series. In addition, the blue ball of energy is reminiscent of the Kamehameha Wave, one of the trademark attacks.
  • Blue balls are a symptom of sexual frustration.
  • The "How u mine 4 fish" attack message is a reference to RuneScape, in which fishing used the exact same interface as mining, probably leading to the above line. Specifically, it references this[1] VGCats comic.