Knob Goblin Master Chef

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Knob Goblin Master Chef
Monster ID 77
Locations Cobb's Knob Kitchens
Hit Points 20
Attack 22
Defense 19
No-Hit 32
Initiative 70
Meat 24-36
Phylum goblin
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
dry noodles, Knob Goblin spatula, Knob mushroom, spices
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Knob Goblin Master Chef You're fighting a Knob Goblin Master Chef

This is one of the master chefs of Cobb's Knob. He could sauté you, flambé you, or make a roux out of you. You have no idea what any of those words mean, but they all sound pretty unpleasant.

Hit Message(s):

He makes a delicate souffle of eggs, nutmeg, cinnamon, and your sweet, sweet pain. Ooh! Ouch!

He assaults, peppers, parsleys, sages, rosemarys, and thymes you. Ouch! Ouch!

He whips you like a bowl of cream. The sunshine of your love turns into the dark rain of despair. Argh! Oof!

He beats you like a three-egg omelette. It doesn't feel too eggscelent. Ouch! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He pulls out a whisk and briskly whisks you up one side and down the other. You wish you had some whiskey to numb the whisk factor. Seems like this chef has a whisk addiction. Eek! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to throw a cleaver at you, but breaks into tears when you make fun of his little hat.

He swings a frying pan at you, but you leap out of the way. Into the fire. Except for the 'into the fire' part.

He tries to beat you like an egg, but you beat it before he can get to you.

He tries to whip you like a bowl of cream, but the sunshine of your love is too strong for him to beat.

He tries to kick it up a notch, but fails.

Fumble Message:

He starts to pound on you with a meat tenderizing hammer, but makes too much noise. He runs back to the oven and finds his souffle has collapsed, which cause him to collapse in tears. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*
Pasta.gifYou acquire an item: dry noodles (15.1% chance)*
Spatula1.gifYou acquire an item: Knob Goblin spatula (14.2% chance)*
Mushroom.gifYou acquire an item: Knob mushroom (14.5% chance)*
Spice.gifYou acquire an item: spices (15% chance)*
You gain 5-6 <substat>.

Occurs at Kitchens.

References

  • The combat message, "He assaults, peppers, parsleys, sages, rosemarys, and thymes you", contains nested puns. He "assaults, peppers" is 'salts and peppers', and "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" is the refrain from the song Scarborough Fair.
  • "Out of the frying pan and into the fire" means that someone has gone from a bad situation to a worse one. There is a Meat Loaf song by this name.
  • "The Sunshine of your love" is the title of a song by Cream
  • Despite the similarity, Jick has specified that the name is not a reference to the Master Chief from Halo: Combat Evolved.
  • "He tries to kick it up a notch, but fails" is a reference to Emeril Lagasse, the celebrity chef, who often uses the phrase "kick it up".