Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a Knob Goblin Elite GuardsmanThis Guardsman is among the fiercest and most loyal of the Goblin King's Guards. He's so big his plate-mail is actually platter-mail.
Hit Message(s):
He pounds on your <ear> with his shield. Irony! Ooh!
He swings his mighty polearm and catches you square in the <ear>. Ooh! Ooh! Argh!
He throws his shield like a frisbee. It makes a pleasant ringing sound as it caroms off your <ear>. Oof! Oof!
He hits you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm. Eek! Ow! Eek! Argh!
Critical Hit Message:
He calls in a phalanx of guardsmen to do an elite guardsman march.... directly over you. You're crushed beneath twenty foul-smelling feet. Ouch! Ow!
Miss Message(s):
He tries to gore you with his helmet horns, but you leap aside and he gets them stuck in the wall.
He swings his mighty polearm at you, but overestimates its size and misses by a good coupla inches.
He throws his shield at you, like a frisbee, but you catch it in your mouth and return it.
He tries to hit you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm, but you head him off. You butthead.
Fumble Message:
He starts marching in a circle, chanting "Oh-weee-oh... yeeeoooo-ah." Must be some kind of knob goblin battle song. Or maybe he just dropped his polearm on his foot. Either way, he isn't attacking.
  Meat | You gain 40-65 Meat. (average: 51.2, stdev: 4.7)* |
Occurs at Treasury and Harem.
Notes
References
- The references in the combat description to the guard throwing his shield allude to the 1982 film Tron, where the "elite guards" and others threw frisbee-like disks as weapons.
- The "you catch it in your mouth and return it" miss message refers to how playing frisbee with a dog is commonly played.
- The fumble message is a reference to the film The Wizard of Oz. Specifically, it is the chant of the Winkie guards when they come out of the Castle of the Wicked Witch.
| 
