Kid who is too old to be Trick-or-Treating
|Kid who is too old to be Trick-or-Treating|
|Locations||Trick or Treat!|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
As you approach the house, a kid steps out of the shadows and says, "it's my turn first, dude. Halloween is, like, totally tubular, isn't it? Like, it's all fresh and jiggy and dope, right?" Man, something about this kid isn't right. Maybe it's the five o'clock shadow; maybe it's the receding hairline with gray patches at the temples; maybe it's the fact that he smells like pipe tobacco and whiskey. But something tells you this guy is maybe a little too old to be trick-or-treating.
He hikes up his pants a little higher, then kicks you with his orthopedic shoes. Ow! Oof!
He makes a reference to some bit of pop culture from 30 years ago, and hits you when you don't get the joke. Oof! Ouch!
He tells you a lame pun, then punches you when you don't think it's funny. Ooh! Argh!
He tells you you're not too old to go over his knee, then demonstrates. Dag. Ow! Ouch!
He tells you your costume is "groovy," then punches you when you ask if he's a hippy. Ooh! Eek!
He whips out a walking-stick and canes you with it. Ooh! Ooh!
You gaze at the man with a growing sense of unease. His pot belly, his aching joints, his desperate attempts to stay relevant--it's like gazing into a terrifying possible future. You freak out a little. Ow! Oof! (spooky damage)
He hikes up his pants a little higher, and mumbles about kids these days and their pants-sagging ways.
He makes a reference to some bit of pop culture from 30 years ago, and you're nonplussed. Garbage Pail Kids? What?
He tells you a lame pun, but you're kind of used to that.
He tells you you're not too old to go over his knee, but his back gives out when he tries to demonstrate.
He tells you your costume is "groovy," which you feel is kind of wack.
He tries to hit you with his cane, but his bum knee gives out and he doesn't follow through.
He stops fighting, puts his hands on his knees, and breathes heavily. "You should be grateful for your shoulders and elbows while they're still working for you, kid," he says (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: bottle of whiskey (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: sturdy cane (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Effermint™ tablets (% chance)*|
Occurs during Trick or Treat!.
- Fighting this monster does not consume an Adventure.