Ice skate
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting an ice skateThis is one of the flamboyant skate punks that has taken over the skate park. It scoots along the ocean floor on a pair of vestigial blades, looking to ice members of the rival gang, the roller skates.
It's possible that this particular ice skate is actually a sensitive, artistic skate who puts up a tough-skate image but secretly has a forbidden crush on one of the roller skates.
It's possible, but it's not very likely.
Hit Message(s):
It impales you with the stinger on its tail. Too soon? Ugh! Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Ugh!
It whacks you with one of its fins. Man, what a whackjob. Argh! Oof! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
It skates up to you and slashes you with its blade. At least it didn't sling its blade, mm hm. Ugh! Argh! Ow! Eek! Eek!
It bites you with its little fishy mouth. Nothing hurts like it. Eek! Oof! Ooh! Argh! Ow!
Critical Hit Message:
It calls some of its fellow ice skates over to do a Triple Salkow and a reverse Lund on you. It hurts, in a kind of effeminate way. Argh! Ooh! Ugh! Eek! Ooh!
Miss Message(s):
It tries to slash you with its blade, but you sling it away, mm hm.
It tries to impale you with the barb on its tail, but determines that would be in poor taste. Too soon.
It tries to bite you, but its mouth is too small to latch on.
It stops attacking to do a few Triple Salkows and a backflip. Impressive, but not painful.
It tries to whack you with a fin, but you hash it a fin instead.
Fumble Message:
  Meat | You gain 80-120 Meat. (average: 100, stdev: 8.56)* |
Occurs at A Rumble Near the Fountain and Ice Skate Territory.
References
- The first miss message references Sling Blade.
- The second miss message references the death of Steve Irwin (making a similar joke that South Park did).
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