Hardcore Checklist
From TheKolWiki
While this article is written with Hardcore players in mind, much, if not all, of it is also applicable to Softcore ascenders.
Legend
| White cells indicate mandatory items required to complete an ascension.
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| Green cells indicate items to save turns cooking and cocktailcrafting.
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| Purple cells indicate useful items that may result in a net savings in turns.
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| Pink cells indicate items used in the Naughty Sorceress Quest that may or may not be needed.
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Checklist Table
| Location | Safe Moxie | Item | Purpose | Notes
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| Any Level
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| The Hermitage | N/A | 1 sweet rims | Bitchin' Meatcar Quest |
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| 1 dingy planks | dingy dinghy |
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| 1 ten-leaf clover | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Speeds getting Really Evil Rhythm
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| 1 ten-leaf clover | Epic Weapon Quest | Also required to obtain a Chef-in-the-box and Bartender-in-the-box
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| 1 seal tooth, chisel, petrified noodles, jabañero pepper, banjo strings, or hot buttered roll
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| The Market | N/A | 1 casino pass
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| The Casino | N/A | 1 big rock
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| The Daily Dungeon | 51 lowest stat | 1 Boris's key | Naughty Sorceress Quest | For speed ascensions it is recommended to only acquire 2 keys and then after using them zap one to automatically receive the third.
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| 1 Jarlsberg's key
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| 1 Sneaky Pete's key
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| Level 1
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| The Haunted Pantry | 8 Moxie | none; discover Spookyraven Manor | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 razor-sharp can lid | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| The Sleazy Back Alley | 8 Moxie | 1 bum cheek | Boss Bat Quest | Replaceable with other Stench Resistance
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| 1 spider web | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| Outskirts of Cobb's Knob | 9 Moxie | 1 Knob Goblin encryption key | The King of Cobb's Knob Quest |
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| 1 chef's hat | Chef-in-the-box | Also drops at The Haunted Kitchen and The Haunted Pantry, but less frequently
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| 1 Knob Goblin firecracker | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| The Haunted Kitchen | 12 Moxie | 1 leftovers of indeterminate origin
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| Level 2
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| The Spooky Forest | 12 Moxie | 1 mosquito larva | Spooky Forest Quest |
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| 1 Spooky Temple map | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin
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| 1 Spooky-Gro fertilizer
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| 1 spooky sapling
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| 1 stolen accordion | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Also drops at The Sewer
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| The Hidden Temple | N/A | 1 loaded dice | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Speeds getting Really Evil Rhythm (Bad Moon only)
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| Level 3
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| The Shore, Inc. | N/A | 1 dinghy plans | Orc Chasm Quest | 5 trips required
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| 1 stick of dynamite, tropical orchid, or barbed-wire fence | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (always necessary); you will randomly need 1 of the 3. For speed ascensions, players may want to strategically space out the required shore trips to ensure tower item drops.
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| The Typical Tavern | N/A | 2 beer lenses | Bartender-in-the-box |
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| Degrassi Knoll | 20 Moxie | 1 cog | Bitchin' Meatcar Quest |
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| 1 spring
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| 1 sprocket
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| 1 empty meat tank
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| 1 tires
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| 1 rusty screwdriver | Orc Chasm Quest
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| 1 frilly skirt | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Possible Infiltrationist equipment
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| 1 frilly skirt | Meat Maid |
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| 1 maiden wig
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| 1 spring | Bartender-in-the-box |
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| 1 spring | Chef-in-the-box
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| The Haunted Billiards Room | 27 Moxie | 1 pool cue | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 handful of hand chalk
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| 1 Spookyraven library key
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| South of The Border | 32 Moxie | 1 jabañero-flavored chewing gum, pickle-flavored chewing gum, tamarind-flavored chewing gum, lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum, handsomeness potion, Meleegra pills, or marzipan skull | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (always necessary). Also obtainable in the Gno-Mart for players of a Moxie sign.
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| 1 mariachi G-string | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| Level 4
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| Guano Junction | 25 Moxie | 3 sonars-in-a-biscuit | Boss Bat Quest |
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| 1 briefcase | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Possible Infiltrationist equipment; drops in the Ruins as well
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| 1 loose teeth | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Drops in other spots as well
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| 1 broken skull | Replaceable with gnollish pie tin + tambourine bells
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| 1 sonar-in-a-biscuit | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 baseball
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| The "Fun" House | 27 Moxie | 1 box | Bartender-in-the-box |
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| 1 box | Chef-in-the-box
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| 1 disease | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary); also drops in the Harem
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| 4 Clownosity's worth of items | Legendary Epic Weapon Quest | Needed to unlock The Clownlord Beelzebozo fight
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| 1 turtle chain or distilled seal blood or Peppercorns of Power or high-octane olive oil or golden reeds or vial of mojo |
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| The Misspelled Cemetary | 27 Moxie | 1 grave robbing shovel | The Wizard of Ego Quest | Needed to unlock Tower Ruins
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| 1 Fernswarthy's key
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| 1 dead guy's watch | +1 adventure per day | Also obtainable in The Defiled Alcove
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| 1 smart skull | Meat Maid |
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| 1 smart skull | Bartender-in-the-box |
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| 1 smart skull | Chef-in-the-box
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| Beanbat Chamber | 29 Moxie | 1 enchanted bean | Giant Trash Quest |
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| Tower Ruins | 31 Moxie | 1 disembodied brain | Meat Maid |
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| 1 disembodied brain | Bartender-in-the-box |
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| 1 disembodied brain | Chef-in-the-box
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| 8-Bit Realm | 32 Moxie | 30 white pixels | Naughty Sorceress Quest |
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| 15 black pixels | 5 red pixel potions | Useful when fighting your shadow
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| 10 red pixels
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| Level 5
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| Harem | 37 Moxie | 1 Knob Goblin harem pants | The King of Cobb's Knob Quest |
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| 1 Knob Goblin harem veil
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| 1 Knob Goblin perfume
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| Level 6
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| Whitey's Grove | 45 Moxie | 1 bird rib | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 lion oil
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| 1 mullet wig | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Possible Infiltrationist equipment
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| Orcish Frat House | 48 Moxie | 1 Orcish baseball cap | Mysterious Island Quest | You only need one outfit or the other; note that either outfit can be obtained quickly from The Road to the White Citadel; the Frat Boy Ensemble can also be used as Infiltrationist equipment for the Cap'm Caronch Quest
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| 1 homoerotic frat-paddle
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| 1 Orcish cargo shorts
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| The Hippy Camp | 48 Moxie | 1 filthy knitted dread sack
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| 1 filthy corduroys
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| The Dark Elbow of the Woods | 55 Moxie | 1 eldritch butterknife | Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest |
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| 3 hot wings | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Possible Infiltrationist equipment; Drops in other Copse of the Deep Fat Friars locations as well
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| The Dark Heart of the Woods | 57 Moxie | 1 box of birthday candles | Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest |
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| The Dark Neck of the Woods | 59 Moxie | 1 dodecagram
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| 1 ruby W | Naughty Sorceress Quest
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| 1 wussiness potion | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| The Deep Fat Friars' Gate | 59 Moxie | 1 Azazel's unicorn | Azazel, Ma Belle | Raises your max Drunkenness, Fullness, or Spleen by 5, depending on your path
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| 1 Azazel's lollipop
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| 1 Azazel's tutu
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| 1 steel margarita, steel lasagna, or steel-scented air freshener
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| Level 7
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| Barrrtleby's Barrrgain Bookstore | N/A | 1 The Big Book of Pirate Insults | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Costs 500 Meat
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| The Enormous Greater-Than Sign | N/A | 1 plus sign | Needed to unlock The Dungeons of Doom |
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| none; pay for a major consultation | Costs 1000 Meat
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| Orcish Frat House blueprints | N/A | 1 Cap'm Caronch's dentures | Cap'm Caronch Quest | Requires Infiltrationist equipment
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| The Dungeons of Doom | 48 Moxie | 1 randomly selected Dungeons of Doom potion | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (always necessary)
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| 1 dead mimic | Zapping | Costs 5000 Meat
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| The Haunted Library | 65 Moxie | none; unlock the second floor | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 inkwell | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | 76 Moxie | 1 eyepatch | Cap'm Caronch Quest |
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| 1 stuffed shoulder parrot
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| 1 swashbuckling pants
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| The Defiled Nook | 84 Moxie | 1 skeleton bone | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Drops in other spots as well
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| Barrrney's Barrr | 90 Moxie | 1 Cap'm Caronch's Map | Cap'm Caronch Quest |
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| 1 Orcish Frat House blueprints
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| The F'c'le | 107 Moxie | 1 ball polish
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| 1 mizzenmast mop
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| 1 rigging shampoo
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| 1 pirate fledges | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin | Grants access to the rest of the ship.
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| Cap'm Caronch's Map | 109 Moxie | 1 Cap'm Caronch's nasty booty | Cap'm Caronch Quest |
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| Level 8
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| Itznotyerzitz Mine | 64 Moxie | 1 miner's helmet | Mt. McLargeHuge Quest |
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| 1 miner's pants
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| 1 7-Foot Dwarven mattock
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| 3 asbestos, chrome, or linoleum ore
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| The Goatlet | 75 Moxie | 6 wedges of goat cheese
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| The eXtreme Slope | 82 Moxie | 1 eXtreme mittens | Replaceable with other Cold Resistance
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| 1 eXtreme scarf
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| 1 snowboarder pants
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| Lair of the Ninja Snowmen | 97 Moxie | 1 frigid ninja stars | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| Level 9
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| The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | 76 Moxie | 1 abridged dictionary | Orc Chasm Quest | Costs 1000 Meat
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| The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | 94 Moxie | 2 334 scrolls |
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| 1 30669 scroll
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| 1 33398 scroll
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| 2 334 scrolls | Hermit access and stat script |
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| 1 30669 scroll
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| 1 lowercase N | Naughty Sorceress Quest |
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| 1 meat vortex | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 lowercase N
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| The Haunted Bathroom | 107 Moxie | 1 fancy bath salts
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| Level 10
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| The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | 127 Moxie | 1 tissue Paper Immateria | Giant Trash Quest |
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| 1 tin Foil Immateria
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| 1 gauze Immateria
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| 1 plastic Wrap Immateria
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| 1 S.O.C.K.
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| 1 giant castle map | Giant Castle Map Quest
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| 1 metallic A | Naughty Sorceress Quest
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| 1 super-spikey hair gel | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 photoprotoneutron torpedo | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky | 152 Moxie | 1 giant needle | Giant Castle Map Quest |
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| 1 furry fur
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| 1 awful poetry journal
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| 1 heavy D | Naughty Sorceress Quest
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| 1 chaos butterfly | McMillicancuddy's Farm Subquest | Unlocks a quicker path
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| 1 thin black candle | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
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| 1 original G | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 chaos butterfly
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| 1 plot hole
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| The Haunted Bedroom | 171 Moxie | 1 Lord Spookyraven's spectacles | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 Spookyraven ballroom key
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| The Hole in the Sky | 175 Moxie | 18-20 stars | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Need to make Richard's star key, star hat, and 1 star sword, crossbow, or staff
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| 14-16 lines
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| 3 star charts
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| Level 11
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| The Black Market | N/A | 1 forged identification documents | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin | Costs 5000 Meat
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| 1 can of black paint | Costs 1000 Meat
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| The Shore, Inc. | N/A | 1 your father's MacGuffin diary |
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| Laboratory | 52 Moxie | 1 Mega Gem
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| Belowdecks | 147 Moxie | 2 snakehead charrrms
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| 1 acoustic guitarrr | Can be replaced with any string instrument listed here; a meatsmithed stone banjo is the most common replacement
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| The Black Forest | 140 Moxie | 1 sunken eyes |
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| 1 broken wings
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| 1 black market map
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| 1 adder bladder | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 Black No. 2
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| 1 black pepper | Stair Item (not always necessary); obtained from a black picnic basket
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| An Oasis | 144 Moxie | 1 stone rose | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 drum machine
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| 1 worm-riding manual page 1
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| 1 worm-riding manual page 2
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| 1 worm-riding manual pages 3-15
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| The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert | 149 Moxie | 1 worm-riding hooks
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| 1 bronzed locust | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| The Palindome | 162 Moxie | 1 hard rock candy | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 photograph of God
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| 1 hard-boiled ostrich egg
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| 1 ketchup hound
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| 1 stunt nuts
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| 1 Staff of Fats
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| Ruins | 165 Moxie | 1 cracked stone sphere
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| 1 mossy stone sphere
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| 1 rough stone sphere
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| 1 smooth stone sphere
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| 4 triangular stones
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| 1 ancient amulet
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| 1 pygmy pygment | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| 1 pygmy blowgun | Stair Item (not always necessary)
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| Spookyraven Manor Wine Cellar | 175 Moxie | 3 different dusty bottles of wine | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 Eye of Ed
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| The Upper Chamber | 177 Moxie | 1 carved wooden wheel or tomb ratchet
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| 1 powdered organs | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary); obtained from a canopic jar
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| The Lower Chambers | 232 Moxie | 1 ancient bronze token | Quest for the Holy MacGuffin |
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| 1 ancient bomb
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| 1 Holy MacGuffin
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| Level 12
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| Orcish Frat House (Verge of War) | 182 Moxie | 1 beer helmet | Mysterious Island Quest | You only need one outfit or the other; note that you can obtain the outfit by adventuring on the opposite site, receiving combat adventures
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| 1 distressed denim pants
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| 1 bejeweled pledge pin
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| The Hippy Camp (Verge of War) | 182 Moxie | 1 reinforced beaded headband
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| 1 bullet-proof corduroys
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| 1 round purple sunglasses
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| The Battlefield | 217 Moxie | 4 gauze garters or filthy poultices | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Needed to defeat your shadow; you can also buy these from your respective side's shop. Can be replaced by other high-end HP Restorers usable in combat.
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| The Junkyard | ∞ Moxie | 1 gremlin juice | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Gate Item (not always necessary)
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| Level 13
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| The Market | N/A | 1 hair spray | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Stair Item (not always necessary); make sure you buy one before climbing the tower
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| The Hedge Maze | 239 Moxie | 1 hedge maze puzzle | Naughty Sorceress Quest | Most likely you will need more than one to unlock the tower
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| 1 hedge maze key |
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Notes
For the most part, the zones above unlock at the listed level in the table. However, there are some exceptions. With the right buffs and equipment, it is theoretically possible to adventure in the following zones before the listed level:
Some semi-rare items can prove very useful for completing certain quests. The table below lists a few such items.
Item Optimizations
- It's easier to get the skeleton key needed for the Naughty Sorceress Quest by assembling its respective parts as shown above, but they are also available from Room 3 of The Daily Dungeon. In either case, after the key is used in The Entrance Cavern to obtain Stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm), you can untinker the key and then combine the resulting skeleton bone with a broken skull to pass The Stone Mariachis--you only need one bone to pass that point.
- Some of these items can be obtained by zapping instead of collecting them at the locations mentioned here. If you have a zap to spare, you can get through The Entrance Cavern with only two keys. Solve the puzzles for the two keys you have, then zap one of them; you'll always get the missing third key.
- Because the other required star items need more stars than lines to construct, in most cases you'll find it most efficient to construct a star crossbow (which needs the least stars). This has the additional benefit that only your Moxie needs to be over 67 to equip the item, the same requirement for the always necessary star hat. However, you may occasionally find yourself with an excess of stars, in which case assembling a star sword will allow you to exit the The Hole in the Sky faster. Be warned that in that case, your Muscle will also have to be over 67 to advance.
- The South of the Border items for the gate can simply be bought from the Gno-Mart if you have ascended under a Moxie sign. If you didn't, keep in mind that you can use a clover to get a pack of chewing gum.
Optional Quests and Items
- Whether or not it's worthwhile to finish building the helpful but optional 31337 scroll instead of advancing to the (more stat-lucrative) Icy Peak or The Haunted Gallery depends on many factors: how easily you can survive battling there, your character's item drop skills, how many of the 3 parts you already have, whether or not there are other items you still would like in that area (the possibly optional second lowercase N being a popular one), and whether you have a spare zap that might convert useless scrolls into the ones you need. Accordingly, it's difficult to give a blanket recommendation for that item.
- If you aren't born under a Muscle sign and happen to get both a frilly skirt and a maiden wig while adventuring in Degrassi Knoll, you may be able to justify spending a few turns to get a Meat Maid, as most of the rest of the parts can be salvaged from your untinkered bitchin' meatcar. The other two items you'll need, the disembodied brain and smart skull, are both drops that can take many turns to get normally (the brain being the much harder of the two). However, you can get each of them by using a clover in their respective areas. And if you've already completed the Cyrpt Quest, you can get both items at once by using a clover in the upgraded Cemetary. Adventurers on the Oxygenarian path can almost always justify building a maid, even if they have to stay in the Knoll a little longer, as those four extra turns per day really add up over a long run.
- The Mysterious Island subquest items are not listed, as these should be self-evident for whichever subquests you choose to complete. Determining which subquests are beneficial to complete relies on many factors, including which side you are on, permed skills, etc. For more information, visit the Mysterious Island Quest page.
Required Familiars
You will need many familiars in order to complete the Naughty Sorceress Quest. During your first ascension, all adventurers need to obtain a star starfish familiar.
Before fighting the Naughty Sorceress, you have to encounter two of her giant familiars. These familiars are the Mosquito, Angry Goat, Barrrnacle, Sabre-Toothed Lime, and Levitating Potato. In order to defeat them, you have to level the correct counter-familiar to level 20, using any combination of skills and items. It would be prudent to collect the items to put every one of the these familiars in your terrarium during your first ascension, because obtaining them will be more difficult once you've chosen a hardcore path.
The fastest way to level your familiars is to adventure at The Cake-Shaped Arena and optimize your fights to help your familiar gain as much experience as possible per turn. Using familiar boosting skills (Amphibian Sympathy, Leash of Linguini, Empathy of the Newt) is invaluable here. If you have the Summon Snowcone skill, using a green snowcone (or black snowcone) will increases a familiar's level by 5 for 20 turns. If you have the Summon Candy Hearts skill, you can use a green candy heart and increase a familiar's level by 3 for 10 turns. With the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform, you can purchase Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray to get 5 pounds for 10 turns. Another familiar buff is available if you complete the Mysterious Island Arena subquest as a Hippy. Optimist Primal adds +5 to familiar weight for 20 adventures. Using a disintegrating spiky collar from the Stately Pleasure Dome adds +5 to familiar weight for 10 adventures.
Cake-Shaped Arena Optimization Tools
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