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Haiku combat
From TheKolWiki
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This page is in need of content
There are probably more, now get to pokin', so we can wrap her up.
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| Before you're ready the fiend starts beating on you. So much for sneaking.
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| The monster attacks before you're even ready. Dang, man. What a jerk!
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| "Hang on one second," you say, but <it> ignores you. That trick never works.
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| You leap at your foe, throwing caution to the wind, and get the first strike.
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| You jump at your foe, and strike before <it>'s ready. Nice and sportsmanlike.
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| Before <it> sees you, you're already attacking. You're sneaky like that.
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Player Messages
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| You acquire something at a serious discount with your deft fingers.
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| Y'know that... uh... thing? That thing you just tried to do? Well, it didn't work.
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| Your attempt failed. If at first you don't succeed, maybe just give up?
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Successful Attack
| Curiosity dealt X damage to the cat. Like you to your foe.
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| Frogs avert their eyes as you strike for X damage sissy little frogs.
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| Justice comes swiftly courtesy of your weapon you do X damage.
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| You do X damage like a peaceful summer rain that does X damage.
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| You deal X damage with a thrust of your weapon. Nearby, a loon honks.
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| A freezing wind blows you coldcock this dumb monster for XX damage.
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| Near a jonquil branch you hit for XX damage. Wait. What's a jonquil?
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| Misplaced platypus watches you hit XX damage. Man, that thing's sure lost.
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| Your weapon flashes a flock of herons takes flight you hit XX times
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| Monster's desire not to get hit XX times sorry, evil guy.
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| XXX damage as the stars wheel overhead monster vertigo.
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| A tricky riddle: who did XXX damage? The answer: you, stud!
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| Like cherry blossoms your blows rain down on your foe. XXX damage.
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| Question this answer: Just did XXX damage. You? (suck it, Trebek!)
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| You're the bus driver so you take your foe to school: XXX damage.
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| Your brutal attack deals XXXX damage to your hapless foe.
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| A sweet summer breeze Wafts around you as you strike XXXX times.
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| Flocks of cranes in flight fleeing the scene where you caused pain beyond measure.
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| Autumn leaves falling sound nothing like your weapon as it smacks your foe.
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| Wow, did you see that? Did you count the damage done? Well, neither did I.
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| Learn self-reliance calculate your own damage math is hard, young one.
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| Ripples in a pond a flowing crimson river blood drips from your foe.
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Misses
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| You throw some punches great enthusiasm, but low accuracy.
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| Casey at the bat, and by "Casey" I mean "you." A swing and a miss.
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| A vicious attack as harrowing as it was ineffectual.
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| The air is still still despite your useless flailing. (Your attack misses.)
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| You swing your weapon and hit nothing but the air. Did the air hurt you?
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| That was quite a hit! True, palpable, CRITICAL! (Constructively so.)
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These messages are followed by a "Receiving Damage" message.
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| A gentle spring breeze is wafted by your weapon as it hits the floor.
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| Hey, pay attention! What just got the drop on you? Oh. Your weapon did.
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| Winter icicles easily slip through your grasp much like your weapon.
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| You trip and autumn which is a lot like falling only it hurts more.
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Receiving Damage
| Bamboo leaves rustle, your blood falls like gentle rain. You lose X hp.
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| The cherry blossoms are as pink as your hit points, X of which you lose.
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| Birds can fly away avoiding XX damage. You are not a bird.
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| The blood flows like wine -- XX points' worth of wine -- from your many wounds.
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| You feel like a worm. A worm who was just stepped on by XX big feet.
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| The blood flows like wine (XXX points' worth of wine) from your many wounds.
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| XXX hit points used to be in your bloodstream. Now they're on the ground.
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| You got beat so hard that I had to look away. Seek medical help.
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| You lose some HP -- Far, far too many to count. My condolences.
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Unsuccessfully Using a Skill
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| This is frustrating -- you can't use that skill right now. You kick a pebble.
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Dealing Damage via a Skill
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| You use your mad skills, lay the smack down on your foe: you did X damage.
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| You do X damage as the harvest moon rises. Skilled adventurer!
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| You've got some mad skills, one of which you have just used to deal X damage.
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| Marketable skills? Not so much, but useful for dealing X damage.
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| A nearby frog croaks, your foe takes XX damage at your skillful hands.
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| You use that one skill you know, that one skill you have? XX damage, yo.
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| A skillful attack while the koi sleep in their pond does XX damage.
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| The sound of your skill echoes off a canyon wall. XXX damage...
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| You show to your foe you're skilled in the ways of PAIN: XXX damage.
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| By a limpid pool you deal XXX damage using your mad skills.
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| Like a skillful frog you do XXX damage. Wait, a skillful frog?
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| By using a skill, you deal a lot of damage. How much? A whole bunch.
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Dealing Damage via a Spell
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| Punching's for suckers. You work up a spell instead it does X damage.
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| You work up a spell It's magic'lly malicious doing X damage.
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| You decide to do some prestidigitation dealing X damage.
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| Your arcane magic deals X damage to your foe beneath the spring moon.
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| Mighty magician can you spell XX damage? I knew that you could.
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| For XX damage, you eff the ineffable. That was effin' great!
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| For XX damage, you scrute the inscrutable. Now your foe is screwed.
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| Your powerful spell blasts your hapless opponent for XX damage.
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| Mystic forces swell like a stream after the rain XX damage flows.
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| Lotus blossoms bloom as the spell you just cast does XXX damage.
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| Inscrutable koi are not as mystic as you. XXX damage.
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| A blast of magic about XXX points big from you to your foe.
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| XXX damage from the mighty spell you cast: abracadabra.
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| You recite a spell XXX damage bursts forth wow, that looked painful.
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| A blast of magic about XXX points big from you to your foe.
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| That was quite a spell! It did a bunch of damage! More than you could count!
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| Vicious spell attack hope I'm on your good side, man you're smart and funny.
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| Infinite damage from the spell that you just cast. That was brutal, man.
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| Birds drop from the sky. Your spell did so much damage they forgot to fly.
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| Your pupils go black mass prestidigitation: infinite carnage.
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| The moons shine above as you cast yourself a spell. Magic, man... Magic.
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| You jiggle a stick and assorted things happen. Just like summer camp.
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| Brief pleasures of spring May flies when you're having fun. Swarms arrive, leave. Poof!
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| Like a soft spring breeze, a swarm of mayflies buzz in, do something, then leave.
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Other Successful Skill Usage
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| You act skillfully and in acting skillfully accomplish something.
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| You enlist some aid from a powerful ally. Powerful tasty.
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Items with No Effect
| Leaping to action, you do some stuff with a thing. It's a lot of fun.
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| You use an item to some inscrutable end. Hope that worked for you.
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Dealing Damage via Combat Items
| You sling an item like a mighty summer storm dealing X damage.
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| You whip out a thing no, not that thing, you pervert. It deals X damage.
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| Like a killing frost that deals XX damage points: a combat item.
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| That thing you just threw just hit for XX damage. Yay, combat item!
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| XXX damage that's a lot of mayhem dealt go, combat items!
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| You sling an item which deals XXX damage: delicious mayhem.
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| So much carnage dealt by the item you just threw. I just couldn't watch.
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| Sorry, I can't say How hard your item just hit. Blame my coffee break.
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| I don't hear so well. Did your foe ask for more pain? I'll assume they did.
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HP Gain
| Your wounds fly away on a refreshing spring breeze. You gain X hit points..
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| When XX hit points are restored to your body, you make an "ahhhhhhhh" sound.
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| You're feeling better -- XXX hit points better -- than you were before.
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| You gain some hit points, but even the wisest sage knows not how many.
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MP Gain
| You feel quite refreshed, like a frog drinking soda, gaining X MP.
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| A contented belch. Ripples in a mystic pond. You gain X MP.
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| Like that wimp Dexter, you have become ENERGIZED, with XX MP.
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| XX magic points fall upon you like spring rain. Mana from heaven.
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| Spring rain falls within metaphorically, I mean. XXX mp.
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| XXX MP. Like that sports drink commercial -- is it in you? Yes.
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| Cold, clear winter night can you number all the stars? you gain much mp.
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| Like sand on a beach the mp you just garnered cannot be counted.
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Successfully
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| Your burps taste like pride, 'cause that's what you just swallowed, as you ran away.
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| You beat a retreat, marching to the eat of a cowardly drummer.
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Unsuccessfully
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| Sweet, lovely freedom, like the highest-hanging fruit, is beyond your grasp.
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| You try to retreat, but your legs are not as strong as your cowardice.
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| You make like a tree but it is a winter tree so you do not leave.
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| Your familiar grins smiles are lousy umbrellas but good for the soul.
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| Your familiar smiles, you feel a big surge of pride. You take a quick bow.
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| You take a breather. Your familiar smiles at you. High-five, little friend!
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| Victory is yours! Your familiar broadly grins filling you with hope.
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| Sanguine, serene smile Life is better than it seems thank you, familiar.
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| Your familiar winks, making you feel wealthier. The Meat helps, too.
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| You wish you had Meat. Your familiar blinks one eye. Oo, wish for ponies.
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| Your familiar winks Meat don't grow on trees, you know it's there on the ground.
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| When the dust settles your familiar blinks at you but forgets one eye.
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| Winking familiar more Meat for you from this fight. Coincidence? No.
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| Your comrade dances, helping you find stuff... somehow? We don't make the rules.
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| After the battle, your familiar dances 'round, helping you find stuff.
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| Lotus blossoms bloom Your familiar busts a move. Hey, look, items!
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| Like a bumblebee your familiar does a dance pointing out more loot.
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| Dancing familiar looks ridiculous, it's true but you find more stuff.
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Deleveling
| Your familiar sucks, which is a good thing for you, but bad for monsters.
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| Your pet joins the fray slowing your enemy down Right on, little guy!
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| Your pet latches on sucking your foe's will to live. Lotus blossoms fall.
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| Tiny familiar judge it by its size, do you? It slows down your foe.
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| A startled heron cranes its neck to see your friend hit for %dmg damage.
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| Crickets loudly chirp, Your pet throws down X damage Wow! By Jiminy!
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| Wind through the bamboo From the punches your pet throws doing X damage.
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| Your little buddy deals X damage to your foe. Friendship is awesome.
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| Your girlfriend was wrong: Your pet hits for X damage. Size doesn't matter.
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| Friends with benefits: your pet hits for X damage. Wha'd you think I meant?
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| A warm summer rain of X blows falls on your foe, thanks to your buddy.
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| Generous buddy shares XX blows with your foe. How magnanimous!
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| You can't bear too look as your pet leaps in the fray. You hear XX SMACKS.
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| Oblivious frogs don't see your familiar hit for XX damage.
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| Placid, tranquil pond Contrasts starkly with your pet, which hits XX times.
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| Sometimes love can hurt your pet clearly loves your foe XX different ways.
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| Bloodthirsty midget your familiar swiftly strikes for XX damage.
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| You abhor vi'lence but your buddy disagrees striking XX times.
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| Your familiar hits, inflicting XX damage. Nice work, little guy!
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| Wars not make one great but your pet's XX damage sure isn't half bad.
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| Twilight silence falls Your pet does XX damage. Violent little guy.
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| XXX damage that's how hard your pet just hit. Such great loyalty!
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| Irrelevant koi swim nearby as your pet deals XXX damage.
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| Faithful companion hits for XXX damage. Make sure you say thanks.
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| You care for your pet loyalty rewarded with XXX damage.
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| Your little buddy inflicts XXX damage Friendship is awesome.
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| Before you can blink Your familiar swiftly throws XXX punches.
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| Lotus blossoms bloom your pet hits XXX times handy little guy.
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| Wow, did you just see how much damage your friend did? Well, neither did I.
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| Contemptuous foe underestimates your pet and gets beaten down.
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| Your little buddy inflicts a lot of damage. Way too much to count.
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| Stars in the night sky too many to be counted like your pet's attack.
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| You can't bear to look As your buddy joins the fight that sounded painful.
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General
| Aw, that was so cute! I wish you had just seen what your buddy just did.
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| Mysterious friend what did your familiar do? Meditate on that.
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| While you're not looking, your familiar does something. Wonder what it was.
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| Your familiar acts, but you don't see what it does. I'm sure it was cute.
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| Your familiar strikes just like a tiny ninja (you missed what it did).
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| From that vicious fight your familiar gains a pound. Vi'lence is its food.
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| Your little buddy is now slightly less little, having gained a pound.
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| From the exercise your familiar puts on weight. But it's all muscle.
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| Your pet's gaining weight best that you not mention it for its self-esteem.
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| Your pet gains a pound perhaps you should say something: "lay off the twinkies."
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| Your pet gains a pound. Now there's more of it to love. Just don't tell it that.
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Enemy messages
Introduction Text
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| Spring is for lovers, but autumn is for fighting. You see a leaf fall.
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| You are in combat, but you probably knew that. Sorry to bug you.
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| Like a fierce cobra fighting a deadly mongoose, you're fighting this thing.
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Entering Combat
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| Monsters step to you what was that about your mom? Time to regulate.
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| Fighting solves nothing, but you really must admit it helps pass the time.
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| A fiendish monster isn't always a bad thing. This one, though? It is.
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| Hey, look, a monster! Get medieval on its ass or post-Renaissance.
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| Like a serene pond you're not looking for a fight. Sadly, one found you.
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Miss Messages
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| Your foe misses you like your mother, wondering "Why doesn't he write?"
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| Your foe's last attack was like spitting in the sea: ineffectual.
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| It lunges at you, but ah, Zeno's paradox. It never makes it.
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| A gentle zephyr caresses your tranquil face, from your foe's missed blow.
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| Tranquil summer nights much like his attack attempts do not hurt at all.
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| An enraged monster throws a series of wild blows, inaccurately.
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| He tries to bite you, but due to your fast footwork, bites only thin air.
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| Spring near a still pond is somewhat like this moment: Neither one hurts you.
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Special Attacks
| Your foe must have sleeves, because there were tricks up them. Painful, nasty tricks.
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| Your powerful foe does something unusual and no doubt harmful.
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Dealing Passive or Counter-Attack Damage
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| You take some damage. In case it was to your ears: YOU TAKE SOME DAMAGE.
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Enemy Is Stunned (except for Disco Blindness, which gives no message)
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| The monster is stunned by your panache, your good looks, and some other thing.
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End of Combat
Losing the Fight
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| What's with all this blood? No really, whose blood is this? Oh, dammit -- it's yours.
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| Your face hits the floor and you comprehend the truth: You just lost. Loser.
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| Meditate on loss, because that's what just happened. Hope you learned something.
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Winning the Fight
| With your final blow, you deliver the smackdown. Sweet, sweet victory.
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| You're victorious, so your name must be Victor. To you go the spoils.
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| Your foe hits the floor like a bag full of wet sand. It looks like you've won!
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| You did your best, friend. Losers whine about their best but you're no loser!
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| Know what time it is? Time for a victory dance! A winner is you!
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Gaining Substats
| Biceps, triceps, abs, combat's quite a workout, huh? You gain X muscle.
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| You work up a sweat, gain X muscle from the fight. Sweet! Now go shower.
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| Gentle reeds must bend but you're mightier than that. You gain X muscle.
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| You're feeling stronger, having gained X Beefiness. Mighty mighty you.
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| XX muscle gained. You flex your brawny biceps. Time for the gun show.
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| Do you know a vet? Because these puppies are sick. You gain XX brawn.
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| Your muscles tingle, some muscles more than others. You get XX brawn.
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| All will fear your might. XX muscularity fills your mighty bod.
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| XXX muscle: someone needs to call a vet. These pythons are sick.
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| Like the mighty oak you stand strong before the gale: XXX muscle.
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| Time for the gun show with your XXXX brawn you've got your ticket.
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| XXXX brawn: No one will step to you now. Flex those wicked pecs.
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| You feel the burn as your muscles get stronger. You grunt like an ape.
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| You aching muscles are evidence of your growth. No pain, no gain, bra.
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Gaining a Muscle Point
| Flex that bicep! Yeah! You just gained a Muscle point. You're the man now, dog.
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| You been workin' out? 'Cause you're lookin' pretty buff! (Your Muscle went up.)
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| Your rippling muscles strike fear into enemies. Stat gain for the win.
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| Nothing up your sleeve X magic in your brainpan. Abracadabra.
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| Delicious magic Your hungry brain scarfs it down. Yum! It tastes like X!
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| Stars wheel above you. Ancient wisdom fills your brain. You gain X magic!
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| You gain X magic. Pull a rabbit from a hat? Nah, that's too cliche.
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| Relax post-combat contemplate the infinite gain XX wisdom.
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| Swirling cosmic rays penetrate you XX times then they never call.
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| XXX magic enters into your third eye. Man, that kind of stings.
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| Mystic forces swell XXX points fill your brain. Hocus pocus, yo.
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| XXXX points? That's a lot of magic, dude. Gather it all up.
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| Wow, did you just gain XXXX magic points? Yup, you really did.
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| Magic lolhaiku: My XXXX new points let me show you them.
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| Want some magic, kid? First XXXX are free. The rest will cost you.
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| You feel much smarter as a result of the fight. See? Learning is fun!
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| You pause, meditate, considering the battle. You really kicked ass!
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| Mysticality. For you, it has just increased. Abracadabra!
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| The planets aligned, your Mysticality rose. By an entire point!
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Gaining Moxie Substats
| Extend both thumbs. Who just got X more Moxie? You assert: this guy!
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| Tranquil zen gardens look uptight next to your cool you get X more Smarm.
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| Like a winter breeze, keeping your cool in battle, you gain X Chutzpah.
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| A refreshing pond Is still not as cool as you you gain X Moxie.
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| Blazing autumn leaves are not as awesome as you. Gain XX moxie.
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| You've got more Chutzpah. XX more, to be exact. You high-five yourself.
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| Your friends gaze in awe. Your new XXX moxie turns them springtime green.
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| Post-battle strutting nets you XXX Chutzpah. Stylish and deadly.
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| Wow, how cool are you? Spring breeze cool. To be precise: XXXX cool.
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| Post-battle strutting nets you XXXX Smarm. Stylish and deadly.
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| You strut your stuff, 'cause no matter what your mom said, fighting makes you cool.
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| Having coldcocked him, now you're the cock of the walk. Just don't get cocky.
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Gaining a Moxie Point
| Here's some welcome news: You just gained a Moxie point! Go get 'em, tiger!
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| You're as smooth as silk, as cool as a popsicle. Your Moxie went up!
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Leveling Up
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| Congratulations! You've gained an entire level! That's pretty awesome!
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| Your power, it grows stronger than ever before. You've gained a level!
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| Holy freakin' cow! You beat that hobo down good! (Good for you, not him.)
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| What's this on the ground? You have discovered X Meat. Time to go shopping!
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| You acquire X Meat. That was easy, wasn't it? Like Sunday mornin'.
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| Are you feeling poor? Do you wish you had X Meat? Your wish is granted!
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| If meat grows on trees, then it must be autumn now: you gain XX meat.
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| You find XX Meat just lying there on the ground. Wow! What are the odds!?
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| You find XX Meat, and decide you will keep it. Capitalism!
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| The harvest moon glows you can see XXX Meat ripe for the picking.
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| On the nearby ground you can see XXX Meat. Score! You pick it up.
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| XXXX Meat lies on the ground before you. Sweet! You pocket it.
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| XXXX Meat does not grow on trees, you know. It lies on the ground.
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| Blessed currency! You find some Meat and increase your buying power.
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| You gain so much meat. Know what's totally awesome? Capitalism!
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Item Drops
| Cranes frozen in flight time seems to stand still for you As you spy a X.
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| By the harvest moon you can spy a gleaming X. You hork it and jet.
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| Hey, look, it's a X! Just like grandma used to make. Gaffle it right now.
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| By a lotus plant You see a nifty XX. You grab it and go.
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| Wind through the bamboo whispers, "here, have a XX." You do not argue.
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| Hey, want a XX? Feel the greed within you rise come to the dark side.
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| Loot falls like spring rain, keen eyes spy a XXX. Yoink! Now it is yours.
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| Can't get what you want, unless it's an XXX. Serendipity!
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| A XXXX is now yours for the taking. As such, you take it.
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| You find an item. A XXXX, in fact. A looter is you!
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| XXXXX was once your foe's, is now yours. Beaters-up, keepers.
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| Near you on the ground is a XXXXX. You hork it and jet.
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